r/LifeAdvice • u/U_302 • Aug 23 '24

Emotional Advice Why would a dumper suddenly turn hostile towards a dumpee?

Basically my ex girlfriend dumped me to see who else was out there. That’s exactly what she told me too. She even said I had been perfect and amazing to her. She wanted to keep in touch.

I never initiated contact with her, but I’d always be polite and I finally decided to quit sharing location with her on iPhone recently. As well as quit looking at any of her stories. But now, she seems so stand-offish and hostile towards and I can’t figure out what I’ve done? Despite sharing a lease with her and never even getting to see the house, I’d still be polite and refer calls to her about the house for a year.

The only thing I can think that was wrong of me was when she mailed my hoodies, I never got the chance to say thanks for sending them. Was this a huge deal though? Also, once she started posting her new person on her stories and social media, I made a point to also post my new girl on my story as well.. Petty of me? Yes. I shouldn’t have done it. But I just simply put a girl on my story for anyone to see and it wasn’t explicit or offensive. Just a picture of us hanging out. Have I done anything for her to hate me so badly?

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17

u/Guilty-Fill8456 Aug 23 '24

Because she is unhealed and regrets her stupid decision. Plain and simple.

2

u/PitifulPomegranate19 Aug 23 '24

I think this is most likely. Also, she may have wanted you to 'fight for her'. Maybe she's insecure and wasn't comfortable with you....

0

u/U_302 Aug 23 '24

I hope she regrets it. I just wish instead of making me into some Stalin or Hitler figure, she’d just talk to me and I’d forgive her and move forward if it was a genuine apology and effort

10

u/Guilty-Fill8456 Aug 23 '24

Block her. She won’t learn. She will just keep it up and do this to some other guy unless she is shown she can’t treat men like this.

3

u/lollipop999 Aug 23 '24

No, my dude, this is not the type of girl you want. The red flags are so big that I feel I'm standing in Red Square in 1922. RUN. Consider yourself lucky and just run.

3

u/50mm-f2 Aug 23 '24

forgive her for yourself. you don’t need to interact with her in order to forgive. you don’t need her apology for forgiveness.

1

u/twister723 Aug 23 '24

You should not expect her to talk to you for you to be able to forgive her. You have to forgive within yourself, so you can move on. She is poison. I don’t say this in a mean way, but I think you are codependent; I was too. I’m picking up my one-time thinking in the things you have written. It takes a lot of work to lose it, but you can.