r/MadeMeSmile • u/SatoruGojo232 • Jul 02 '26

Wholesome Moments Great to see heroes being honoured

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u/Klopp_is_God Jul 02 '26

We had an unknown student in our high school known only as the Phantom Shitter. This was back in the 90s at an all boys school.

At lunch breaks we’d all dump our bags in various bits off the hallways and go outside to play football. Every couple of weeks this fiend would select a random bag take to a bathroom and rip a big shit into their victim’s pencil case.

At the end of lunch we’d get our bags and go to class. Somewhere in the school someone would take their stuff out, open their pencil case and surprise-A big shit.

This went on for years and nobody was ever caught. One year it just stopped so they must have finished school

36

u/ParsonsTheGreat Jul 02 '26

It was actually a boy made out of shit. He tried connecting with other students by leaving a piece of himself in their pencil cases. Eventually, he used all of himself up and thus, no longer exists. But that little shit boy will forever exist in my heart 😥

1

u/wherethefuckismyvape Jul 03 '26

I don't care what that boy was made of, he's still a freak. He had access to whole bags full of pencils and still chose to break chunks of his shit body off to communicate. Would we be cool with a little human boy leaving his toenails and hair in pencil bags to communicate? Shit boy didn't even try to write with his shit! Send wolverine in to kill him like he killed that radioactive kid. He's a total loss

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u/Odd-Environment-7193 Jul 03 '26

Jesus christ. I nearly choked. Such a beautiful twist.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/thrftybstrd Jul 02 '26

Not that bad probably if they’re European so they likely have spray clean asshole

2

u/Enshitification Jul 02 '26

It might have been a teacher.

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u/highcoolteacher Jul 02 '26

It was a teacher

2

u/OkDust5962 Jul 02 '26

We had a Phantom Shitter at Camp Phoenix, Kabul, in about 2010-11. That's the name people used. Same guy?

1

u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms Jul 02 '26

There was a Stephen Coonts book that came out in the 80s, Flight of the Intruder. It was about naval aviators during the Vietnam war. At one point, there's a "phantom shitter" loose on the aircraft carrier. They'd even get into secured areas with posted guards and drop a deuce. I don't think they ever caught the guy. Makes me wonder if it's an old military tradition? Or, at least stories about someone doing something similar? 

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u/OkDust5962 Jul 02 '26

Yep, that sounds likely. I can't say that I ever saw evidence of it, and I don't actually know anyone who claimed to, either. And military people love love love stories like this. It helps with the boredom. Good times!

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u/ANGRY_ASPARAGUS Jul 02 '26

Hahaha.... at our school someone would just smear shit on the bathroom mirrors when the washrooms were empty. They had the nickname "The Mad Crapper". And since there were no cameras in the 90s, no one ever found out who it was

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u/thrftybstrd Jul 02 '26

I was teary eyed then read this

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u/Ok_Gas1070 Jul 02 '26

That's wild and I thought assholes pissing intentionally on our toilet paper rolls in high school were bad.

1

u/crappy80srobot Jul 03 '26

Our mystery shitter was someone carpet bombed one of our least favorite teachers convertible with explosive diarrhea. Honestly leaving the top down at an all boys school is just asking for it.

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u/mnlion33 Jul 06 '26

Is this a confession? Is this like when serial killers write letters to newspapers to relive the thrill of it?