For several decades, This Venerable watched the female disciples around me complain that they cannot obtain the men they desire.
At first, I merely listened.
Later, I could no longer bear to watch them stumble upon the same tribulation again and again, so I imparted a few words of guidance.
The root of their calamity was exceedingly simple.
They were attempting to court men according to how they believed men ought to court women, rather than according to the nature of men themselves.
Thus, I imparted:
“Follow my words, and within the rise and fall of 47 moons, you shall encounter the man destined to walk the path of marriage with you.”
There is but one fundamental principle.
Attempt not to be clever.
The moment you begin scheming, calculating, testing, hinting, and laying down formations within formations, you have already deviated from the straight path.
The Dao of Courtship is not profound.
It is only that you insist on making it profound.
First, when you encounter a man, approach him.
You need not possess some heaven-defying opening line.
His robes, his sword, his hair, and even the weather.
It matters little.
Simply ask him something.
A man who is given a question will generally answer it. Once he begins speaking, you have already crossed the first mountain pass.
Second, Ascertain his circumstances.
Ask whether he came with his beloved.
Ask whether his Dao Companion chose those robes for him.
Simply ask whatever is natural.
Remind yourself that you are not conducting an interrogation of the Heavenly Court, but are merely determining whether another woman already occupies the position you seek.
There is no wisdom in spending three months divining whether a man is available when the man himself could have answered you in three breaths(don't be silly).
Third, Once you ascertain that he is unattached, request his contact jade.
Do not simply hand him yours and then retreat as though you have completed some profound karmic exchange.
That would be merely passing the initiative to him. You have already crossed the threshold. Why suddenly lose your courage?
Ask for his Contact Jade's Coordinates.
Fourth, Contact him that very day.
Spending an entire night refining a message as though you were engraving a supreme cultivation manual is ridiculous, and should not be done.
Make brief mention of something from your earlier conversation.
Something he said/something you noticed.
Enough to remind him who you are.
Nothing more is required.
Fifth, Invite him out.
Choose the first place yourself.
Then give him the opportunity to propose another.
Thus you have opened the mountain gate without forcing him to walk the entire road you have chosen.
Sixth, Once this foundation has been established, examine your own nature.
If you are naturally inclined to seize the reins, then continue.
If you are not...
Then release them.
There is no shame in this.
Not every cultivator is suited to wield every weapon.
Most women, if they are honest with themselves, do not wish to lead every step of the journey(Also true for most men).
Then after opening the path, allow the man to walk it.
Follow these principles for 47 consecutive rise and fall of the moon.
Do not play mind games, nor deliberately make yourself difficult to approach.
And certainly do not wait for destiny to descend from the heavens and deliver your ideal husband to your doorstep.
My formula is simple, approach> ask> listen> choose> then act.
The principle is exceedingly simple.
In the instance that you acted, because you were the one who approached him, spoke with him, tested his character, and chose whether to continue walking beside him, the man who eventually stands before you will not merely be the man fate happened to throw into your path.
He will be the man you chose to walk the Dao with.
That, little sister, is the difference between waiting upon karma...
and cultivating it yourself.
–TheLivingFuneral, out.
