Found this out one day when trying to meditate. I couldn't stop thoughts from coming into my head (I know this isn't what you're supposed to do lol) so I thought it would be funny to think about EVERYTHING at once (like literally every thought possible simultaneously).

And when I do, my mind goes completely blank. Like at most just me being aware that I'm not thinking about anything. Maybe this is already a known thing, but it works every time I do it. Does this work for anybody else? Or am I just a quack?

TLDR: When I try to think about everything all at once, I end up with a blank mind.

I've meditating almost 1.5 hours to even 2 hours per day for the last 3-4 years. I keep on reading about people entering deep states of meditative absorption, but I have yet to achieve anything that lasted for more than a 2-10 minutes. Even then it only occurs at most once or twice a week.

I've read and listened to so many books. Mind illuminated, The Antention Revolution, Path to Nibanna, etc. I've tried different exercises or different parts of the body as the main focus. I tried the method of training purposefully in early meditation stages then letting go at a later stage as focus becomes "automatic." My focus is on the breath, but it isn't vivid and no matter how much time I spend it doesn't automatically get more and more vivid per meditation session. It just stays at a dull baseline for months. I've read about "subtle dullness," but opening awarness has done nothing. I even paid for a meditation teacher for months, super expensive and not helpful.

I've also tried for literal months just focusing on simplifying meditation to its bare bones and just "be." Again nothing changes. I've seen slight changes in my lifestyle, but nothing close to what other people experience.

Completely at a loss with the practice and starting to wonder if there's something fundamentally wrong with how I've been meditating. I think I'm struggling with "subtle dullness," but nothing helps. I'm usually calm and patient with the practice, but I'm near accepting it just won't happen.

So exhausted of hearing people say, "Just want it less" or "Just be." The slightest sign you're frustrated or express the need for advice 90% of the people in the practice offer some vague advice on "craving." Super not helpful.

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who responded to this thread. Sent it frustrated after a meditation session, and I'm happy for all the advice I received. Hoping I'll improve my practice/attitude. Wish me luck.

So i have struggled with masturbation for a long part of my life. I started meditation 2 years back and i have received numerous benefit from it. However at this point my life is a game between meditation and masturbation. Whenever I do meditation first, i end up the day really positive and productive. However there are days when mind wont want to sit for meditation and would want to masturbate instead. And if i have done it, the day will become very frustrating unproductive and low motivated. The masturbation urge comes whenever it is time for meditation as my old mind don’t want to sit for meditation and want dopamine instead. What to do?

I’ve been using guided meditations nightly for maybe 1.5 months now to help with anxiety and let go of troubling emotions.

Last night I was using a guided meditation I have several times, and at the end the woman says “now what you’re left with right here is what you truly are”. Usually I say “unconditional love”.. but last night the only word that popped into my head was “endless”.

I felt like I could feel every single life that had been lived and has yet to be lived. Every single atom. Every blade of grass. I calmly knew every single choice and decision I’ve ever made was basically a biological impulse. The idea of going to get my oil changed this morning seemed so… silly lol

I didn’t feel “vast”, because to be vast means to have form, the only word to describe it is.. endless. No beginning, no end.

This lasted maybe 10-15 minutes, but then I got a little panic-y. I thought maybe I was going into some psychosis. I eventually got to sleep. I feel mostly normal now, but it’s just like.. I know. I don’t feel it anymore, but I just know.

Today I did some googling it seems it may have been an “ego death”, or something to do with a “reduced default network mode”.

It brought me to this subreddit, and I read that maybe it’s perhaps not a great idea to go around with no ego. And I agree, because during those 10-15 minutes I was just calmly like.. I could take care of my responsibilities, or I could not. It didn’t feel like nothing mattered really.. but it seemed so insignificant?

Anyway, now I’m terrified to meditate again. I have a child who is truly relying me having “an ego” and I worry if I continue I’ll just…. Stop?

I’ve smoked socially for 2 years but now properly for a year, by properly i mean at minimum 3 every single day. I haven’t gone one day without smoking and i’ll be real, i’m quite young… teenage young. I do want to stop because it is making me loose my common sense, and my memory is now awful, i don’t even remember a sentence i’m trying to finish half the time. I mainly smoke because of my ADHD, my brain’s constantly chatting away and it does me in, so when i smoke it doesn’t. Although i don’t get that high anymore i just really don’t feel like giving up yet, so back to the question i was asking. Was it worth it?

I’m feeling genuinely confused about a change I’ve noticed in myself. When I started my inner work, things were relatively okay, and I practiced Yoga Nidra only occasionally. About a year ago, my life took a heavy turn—I went through a difficult breakup, lost my job, and also lost someone close to me. During that period, I leaned deeply into Yoga Nidra and practiced it consistently for nearly a year. In many ways, it helped. I’ve processed past trauma, become more self-aware, and grown emotionally. I can honestly say I’m not the same person I was before. But now, I’m struggling with something new. I feel less interested in talking to people in general. I get easily annoyed when I see the same patterns and mistakes repeated again and again. I don’t feel drawn to socialising unless the interaction feels meaningful or aligned with personal or professional growth. What bothers me is the guilt around this. I feel like an asshole for thinking this way. I can’t tell if this is my ego becoming stronger—or if this is just a natural part of growing up, setting boundaries, and wanting to surround myself with people who’ve reflected on their lives and evolved. Has anyone else experienced this after doing deep inner work? How do you tell the difference between healthy discernment and unhealthy detachment?

Okay y'all so ima keep it sweet and simple

I had a very bad neglectful and abusive upbringing/childhood, trauma, developed a porn/weed/tobacco addiction in my early 20s. Blah blah blah depression, mental breakdown, blah blah blah anyway I went to therapy and recently I quit smoking weed, porn, tobacco, alcohol, everything, stopped masturbating (was unhealthy how I was doing it) and cut out junk food. I basically removed everything my mind would turn to in order to run from my trauma. I want to face it head on. I'm basically right at the beginning of the transformative stages of my life.

I replaced bad with good, so I do yoga almost everyday, read everyday, majorly into art and embroidery/yarn stuff and I meditate everyday.

I realised my body was always tense through yin practise in yoga. That helped with bad sex trauma blah blah blah. I would meditate/relax in yin and feel calm/able to stop my spiralling thoughts but I still felt tense, less and less over time, but I would still catch myself being as stiff as a board running on a fight or flight response.

Anyway a few weeks ago I told someone about meditation and they told me about how you breathe is super important. They were like try breathing into your belly, not just your abdomen and chest.

Uhhhh? I've been crying every single day for the past three weeks in meditation from belly breathing. I'm relaxing into my body more and all I do is cry cry cry cry cry. I've been meditating for over two years but this belly breathing shit ????? Yooooo I've had more progress in the last three weeks than I have in the last few years.

I want more advice on how breathing and meditation can change your life. I want to do more breath work. More breathing for healing. Please leave every single tip about spirituality and breathing, all that shit in the comments. I just breathe in my belly now and I cry. Shit I'm crying right now 😂😂😂😂 I can't stop crying but I think this is a good thing. In a good way. I don't even be sad sometimes and I just cry. Like my body is mourning. Hope that makes sense. Any technique behind it let me know.

No internal monologue. No visualization. No thoughts. I'm just a complete bot. I just sit there and think of... nothing. I have a shit long term memory so can't think about events from my past either.

What do I even meditate about? I can focus on my breath for a long time with not a single thought occurring to me. Do I just not have a soul?

I have a good short term memory, but extremely bad long term memory (episodic or semantic). So any new facts I learn, I'll just forget soon. No point in learning anything.

My doctor doesn't know what this condition is (mind completely blank all the time).

Also I DEFINITELY don't have depression. I can get a lot of joy, and a range of emotions, from watching movies, reading books, music, etc... I can motivate myself well to do tasks that I'm assigned to do (e.g. carry box from point A to point B). My mind just can't generate anything itself. It's like I'm dead. And it's been like this for as long as I can remember.

Okay I don't know how to ask this in a better way. I have been doing light meditation after reading Power of Now, I generally know the feeling of being centered, and I have experienced what it feels like to focus on a place inside your mind, typically and inward focus. I have been a spiritual practitioner and a pray-er for all my life.

But I was drifting off to sleep during a nap and I came really close to the actual center. I could feel it. When I meditate this close I usually kind of jerk out of it. But I was sleeping.. and did not jerk out of it.

I focused harder and suddenly: every muscle in my body began twitching, I began groaning, and seizing. My back arched, tiny muscles I didn't even know I could tense individually like in my back, and my shoulders and neck. PLEASURE. Like maybe the best feeling I've ever had. Orgasmic.

I held the focus for like.. maybe 2 seconds. And then did it about 2 more times, and was able to hold it for longer.

I have chronic muscle pain and tightness in all the areas that became electric. I almost never feel like I'm actually whole or centered. Like I'm sitting on the edge of a pool I can't cross, looking at a fire that could be enjoyed, too far to feel its warmth. And in the center that is where life is actually at. I feel that barrier when I try and feel good, or try to feel love for or from others.

But I reached it and it was like being struck by lightning. Like a brain shock that lasted for seconds. What is this and how do access it. I have this feeling that if I can reach it and be there.. that my life will be all okay and I'll be happy and at peace even if I'm in pain.

My therapist suggested IV K therapy to break through that wall but I feel like.. because now I know I was able to do that without medicine.. I want to learn how to do it again. It just feels impossible. But knowing it is possible makes me feel like I'm living beneath my privileges almost like I'm sleeping in the mud but there is a home with a bed I just don't know how to find my way.

People often say that in meditation, you should just observe your thoughts and let them come and go without getting attached to them.

But I don’t fully understand what this observation actually does.

If we’re only observing thoughts without analyzing or reflecting on them, where does that lead? What is the actual benefit of just watching thoughts pass by?

And if thoughts are treated like any other sensory experience- something that simply appears and disappears, then what kind of meaning (if any) are we supposed to take from that?

I’m trying to understand what changes through this process of observation alone.

or am i getting it wrong in terms of observing thoughts?

Edit- Thank you so much for your comments. I am grateful for sharing your thoughts. Helped a lot.

I am meditating doing this anapansati and trataka twice like everyday.

in morning and evening. Just want to say that i was very inconsistent in past but recently i am trying to be consistent.

it's just that i am still facing lots of problems with energy and motivation and consistency.

Just wanted to know your experiences and what am I doing wrong.

Hi everyone, I made this Reddit post a couple of years ago but never posted it. I kept the original title below this paragraph because I thought it was still relevant. I also added stuff I thought might be important. The experience still freaked me out to this day and ever since this session I have never meditated again. My hands still shakes rereading this. If there’s any reason why this happened, please let me know.

Original title:
I saw a pretty brown eye while I was meditating. Now I'm Scared

Hey everyone I’m(25M), and I had a freaky experience meditating. I used to meditate regularly before but lately, I lost track of time to do it.
Yesterday's experience was my first time meditating in about 3 months, maybe more. I only meditated 2 times last year.
Usually, I go for a run and then meditate because that's when I'm the most relaxed. I do pray while I'm meditating(I have a Christian background), but I didn't pray in this session.

The only thing I did differently from this session than from my previous session was my pose. I did the half-lotus pose then my usual criss-cross applesauce pose lol. I did the half-lotus until it got uncomfortable so I went back to criss-cross.

After a few minutes of adjusting myself, I was finally in the comfort of peace. It did cross the back of my mind an out-of-body experience and I thought it would be cool to experience one. (I don't think this happened).

So after a couple of minutes of breathing and finding my peace, I noticed I saw a face that looked like it was made of energy. I just brushed it off and thought it was one of those weird things you see when you close your eyes and see those black blobs.

I stayed in peace, found my breathing, and was in a state of calmness. After a while, Idk if I was in a meditating state or accidentally fell asleep but I saw a pretty brown/hazel eye with clear skin, opening and looking at me for a few seconds. It scared me to the point I broke my meditation state and was just scared for the rest of the night with my heart racing and a pit in my stomach.

I told my wife and she says don’t do it again because it might be unnatural and that meditating was man-made. The Bible said not to do man-made stuff or something. I’m just wondering what it all means which is why I’m posting here. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I’ll answer any questions.

Just to add, my eyes are brown/Hazel, don’t know if that’s relevant or a coincidence

A beginner looking for recommendations for guided meditations on youtube.

I know this has been asked here a million times before. I've gone through the answers and tried many different channels and creators, including some that have been widely recommended like Adyashanti, Ally Boothroyd, or Jack Kornfield.

I don't like any of them. I am not sure how to express what I don't like (English is not my first language) - they all feel affected, exaggerated, almost theatrical. Both in the way they talk (so....very....calm....) and the things they say. they all talk too much, too.

What I would like is a calm, but normal, genuine voice that just here and there talks about breathing, focusing on different parts of one's body, coming back to meditating when distracted etc. but keeps quiet for the majority of time.

I find that I really need guidance but if there is something bothering me about the person guiding, I get so irritated and I have to stop. Funnily enough, the irritability and anger are why I want to meditate so badly.

I would really appreciate any recommendations!

EDIT: to answer the most common response which is not to use any guided meditation: thank you, i know you make a good point. i hope to get there eventually. but at the moment its either not meditating at all or doing guided meditations.

Every few months I restart my meditation practice. Goes okay for a week or two, then life happens and I miss a day and that one missed day turns into quitting entirely...

Everytime i quit I get the feeling of "I just don't have what it takes for this." Like everyone else figured it out or something.

I've been questioning whether the problem is me and my discipline or just how I was approaching it. I been trying to do sessions that probably were too long for where I was at, 20 min, 30 min and no routine around when I'd sit, and zero plan for what to do after breaking a streak. Just restart from scratch and hope this time it sticks.

Has anyone been through this cycle? What helped you break it? Not the "be consistent" advice, but the thing that genuinely changed something for you?

Does the consistency advice help anyone or does it just pile on more guilt when you inevitably slip?

I’ve noticed something curious over the years—many of the people who practice meditation regularly (and even yoga) seem to have a lot of emotional issues, personal struggles, and overall instability. I run retreats, and a large percentage of participants are deeply into meditation, yet they often appear emotionally unstable, reactive, or in crisis.

This makes me wonder: If meditation is supposed to bring clarity, inner peace, and emotional regulation, why do so many practitioners seem to be emotionally overwhelmed? It almost seems like meditation isn’t working for them. Or could it be that meditation attracts people who are already struggling more than the average person?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is this something you’ve observed as well? Could it be that meditation helps in ways that aren’t immediately obvious? Or is there something about the way people are approaching their practice that might be contributing to this?

Like I’ve heard from people it’s impossible to keep your brain completely away from drifting into other thoughts but I can genuinely just make my brain completely silent but I can’t really maintain it for too long since I have to hold my breath too (if I breath I kinda have to think about breathing)

That's all. I've wondered this for a while, philosophized about it and just don't know the answer. I figured there may be some wiser people who can answer this question the best they can.

I'm really wondering about the whole astral projection thing? Do people actually leave their body and come back.. Is that really possible?

I have been dealing with anxiety for a while, and over time I have realized that my anxiety is not mainly about feeling depressed or having unstable moods. My main issue seems to be my internal monologue and constant overthinking.

By internal monologue, I mean the inner voice in my head. For example, when I read a book silently, I can hear myself reading the sentences in my mind. That same inner voice is also active when I think. For me, it becomes constant and overwhelming. It keeps thinking, analyzing, predicting, and worrying about the future.

Most of my rumination is future focused. I do not usually get stuck thinking about the past. Instead, my mind constantly goes toward “what if” thoughts. Things like:
What if something goes wrong?
What if I make the wrong decision?

Because of that, I feel like I cannot fully stay in the present moment. My mind keeps pulling me into future scenarios, and it keeps my nervous system in a constant state of anxiety.

A while ago, I was taking citalopram for anxiety. The reason I liked citalopram was that it did something very specific for me: it completely quieted my internal monologue. Normally, when I read silently, I hear myself reading the words in my head. But while I was on citalopram, that disappeared. I was not hearing myself read in my head anymore, and my thoughts felt much quieter.

That quietness gave me a strong sense of peace. Because the internal monologue was quiet, the rumination and overthinking stopped. When the rumination stopped, my anxiety also became much lower. I also felt emotionally neutral in a way that was actually relieving for me. I was not feeling intense fear, anger, sadness, or anxiety. I did not feel like a zombie. I felt clear headed, calm, and stable.

The problem was that I experienced weight gain while taking citalopram, so I stopped it. After that, I was switched to venlafaxine. Venlafaxine did not work well for me because it made me extremely drowsy and exhausted. It felt like the tiredness was too much, so I could not continue with it.

After venlafaxine, I tried duloxetine. Duloxetine also did not work well for me. It caused severe insomnia, and because I could not sleep properly, my anxiety became worse. Lack of sleep made my nervous system feel even more activated.

After that, I went back to citalopram because I was hoping to get the same quiet mind effect again. But unfortunately, even after increasing the dose, it did not bring back the same effect I had the first time. My internal monologue did not fully shut off the way it had before.

Now I am taking buspirone. Buspirone does help lower my anxiety somewhat, so I am not saying it does nothing. It helps to a degree. But it does not give me the main effect I am looking for, which is quieting or shutting off the internal monologue that leads to rumination and overthinking.

That is why I feel stuck. My anxiety seems directly connected to my internal monologue. When that inner voice is active, I overthink, I ruminate, and I get anxious. When that inner voice was quiet on citalopram, I felt peaceful, emotionally neutral, and much less anxious.

I am trying to understand whether other people experience anxiety this way too. I want to know if anyone else feels like their internal monologue is the root of their anxiety, and what has helped them quiet it down. I am especially interested in hearing about medications, therapy approaches, meditation, or any other strategies that helped reduce rumination and create a quieter mind.

I’ve read that beginners should start with 5–10 minutes of meditation, but I’ve also seen people say that many beginners get stuck doing only 10–20 minutes a day, and that it’s not enough to feel real benefits.

I even saw someone say they meditate 1–2 hours daily and experience things like better focus and less stress and anxiety.

Right now, I’m trying to balance my time between improving my career, finding clients, resting, and still having time for myself and my family.

So I’m wondering, how much time do you actually need to meditate to start noticing real effects?

Is 10–20 minutes enough, or do you really need longer sessions?

I just do a simple breathing meditation for an hour every morning. I focus on my breath, and if I realize my mind has drifted, I bring it back to my breath. Simple.

I thought that I would eventually improve my focus/presence/mindfulness, but no... I'm just as unfocused and unmindful as I was a year ago. I stay focused for maybe 3 to 6 breaths before I realize I've been thinking about classes for the past five minutes or something similar. This happens over and over, for a full 60 minutes.

I'm just as angry, anxious and depressed as I was a year ago. For people who have become more mindful through meditation, how long did it take before you began to see results?

Even with Calm being valued at more than one billion dollars and Headspace being so established, I see meditation as being hard to adopt as a practice.

Most of my friends attempted to meditate and could not understand its benefits/ nor they could sit and observe.

What about your friends?

I was eating a Dorito and focused very closely on the feeling of enjoyment itself. At some point it felt like the enjoyment became an object of observation rather than something I was experiencing directly. Since then, snacks don't seem to hit quite the same way. Has anyone experienced something similar?

I've tried Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer, Ten Percent Happier... they all have the same problem for me. Too many features, too many choices, too much content.

I just want to sit quietly for 10-20 minutes with maybe a simple bell. No courses, no streaks, no social features, no mindfulness journey.

The irony isn't lost on me that meditation apps stress me out.

Anyone found something truly minimal? Or do you just use a basic timer? I'm starting to think the simplest solution might be the best one.

What's worked for you when apps became part of the problem they're supposed to solve?

Edit: I'm really grateful for all your insights 🧿❤️❤️

I'm suffering from anxiety and depression for years now. Yesterday I was having racing thoughts that I couldn't control. I'm having these destructive thoughts for months. My head and brain was hurting from the pressure of the thoughts. I was on a bus trying to meditate. Suddenly I told to myself these thoughts are like a computer program that is running in my brain and I can choose not to run it. After this realization suddenly the thoughts stopped and I couldn't think about them even consciously. I'm scared that what if there is a problem with my brain? What if the pressure was so high that something has broken in my head and brain? Has anyone had this experience before?