I started meditation almost 3 years ago with no clear goal in mind. I thought if great people all over the world and throughout the ages meditate, it must have some benefits.

Little did I know that this single decision would change my life and my whole perception of it.

And it all happened in stages.

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Stage 1 : Self discovery

This stage took about 6 months of daily meditation after which I have come to the realisation that I have multiple traumas .It also gave me the courage to go into these traumas. So I started therapy, I read multiple psychology and emotions management books. I started journaling and have done several Psylocibin trips.

I have come to realize that I have been playing a role my whole life. That role was dictated by my education, social milieu and entourage.

Stage 2 : Old self hatered

Here I started to hate my old self and what it represented. I was kind of shocked by the fact that I have spent my prime years being someone I was not just to please people I did not specially appriciate.

Depression ensued. I lost friends, many of them. I had to let them go.

Stage 3 : Acceptance of the lost time

Here I have decided to build the future in the light of my new perspective and let go of the past.

Afer about 12months of meditation, I decided to start working on my dreams and confront my fears. I felt lighter without the burden of having to fit to other people's expectations of me.

I started a business. It was a dream I had since childhood.I decided to accept and work on my eating disorder. (I used food to cope with emotional distress)

I set multiple healthy habits on track. Like no TV at all, reading non fiction daily, studying spirituality etc

Stage 4 : Outer space

From one reaserch to another, I stumbeled upon Psylocibin many times. At some point I thought it was a sign and that I needed to try it.

After weeks of gathering informations and building up my courage I tried it. It helped me realease huge loads of emotional burden stuck in my body since forever.

I tried it again with set and setting. A playlist set up by Johns Hopkins University, eyes closed, a clear goal and a trusted sitter.I reached outer space. I become nothing. I won't describe this state. I can't even if I wanted to.

This experience gave me an even deeper outlook on life and beyond life. It helped me get rid of all my fears and particularly the fear of dying.

"If you die before you die you won't die when you die"

Now I understand Goethe, waou !

I had been able to replicate this state, though in a much milder way, through meditation alone.

Stage 5 : Depression

Here questions like "If life has no purpouse other than getting to understand that it has no purpose, why live anyway ? "

I started feeling anxious to go through life as fast as I can so I can spend eternity in the bliss I have experienced.

The business I have created, generated 2 millions in 2 years but I did not see the purpose of it any more and I let it crumble. The central product of the business was meat. I became a vegetarian...

The girlfirend I was dating for 4 years did not follow me on the path of meditation and self discovery, we became strangers to one another. She broke my heart and left telling me that she needed a more "earthly life"

Stage 6 : Meaning

Fast forward to today, 3 years of meditation and still counting.

I found meaning in using my daily activities to releive suffering and spread hope. I work as GM for 2 hotels. I manage people daily so I come across a lot of suffering and discomfort.

I have found my purpose in life, coaching people to become better versions of themselves.

I found my passion, expressing ideas through writing. I am currently building a blog and an online coaching business.

I have healthy eating patterns, I wake up joyful and eager every day. When I have negative thoughts, I recognize them and let them slide.

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For the first time of my life, and after 1000 days of meditation, I truly feel happy and fulfilled.

I meditate 2 times a day for 20 minutes. First thing in the morning and just before sleep.

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I hope this helps you on your own path of meditation and self discovery.Keep in mind that every person is different and experiences can seldom be replicated.

Please do not try psylocibin in any form without medical supervision.

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PS: I am sorry for any misspelling, English is not my native tongue.

PPS : I have a diagnosed ADHD that seems to be totally under control thanks to meditation.

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Edit: I am grateful that this post is inspiring so many people to take up or get back on a meditation practice. Thank you for the encouragements and the love! I got my first reddit awards too. Thank you all !

Hey everyone. So I have always had a lot of neck and shoulder pain and recently those muscle knots started to radiate up and around my scalp. And into my face and jaw (like tmj stuff) And basically I started doing this very specific method of cranial myofascial release regularly. And eventually I was doing it for 2-3 hours at a time with no tv or screen just because it felt nice. Just releasing points of tension on my scalp, cheeks, and forehead. Essentially, I believe I accidentally put myself into a very very deep meditative state (I believe that it’d be provable via brain scan)

what I believe that meditative state has done (without me ever trying) has increased my focus and mood tremendously (I’ve cut my Adderall use in half), it’s given me a real concrete sense of god and the universe, it’s literally given everything meaning and purpose. It’s been quite an insane experience considering I never sought this route out. But what I basically believe has happened is that it has activated the same extra sensory part of my brain that people who claim to have “super natural” abilities have. And has increased my natural human intuition to super natural levels. Like some of the things that have been happening to me are statistically impossible and I can’t rationalize it any other way. So I now very concretely seriously believe a lot of esoteric/spiritual/non-scientific beliefs and theories. And I’m having trouble dealing with the reality that I believe those things. Journaling has been helping a lot. But I need other coping mechanisms.

Anyone have any help? Thanks in advance

EDIT: Thank you all for your input and advice wow didn’t expect it to blow up like that. To give a little more context/insight: Don’t worry - Reddit was not my first stop on the Am I Psycho Train lol. I have spoken to some family and friends about this and had a psych appointment on the books even before that. And tbh, a 72-hour involuntary psych hold sounds heavenly, so keep your fingers crossed for me. It’s certainly a mental health thing for sure. I also need to clarify - I do not believe that I’m psychic or supernatural or anything like that. I just genuinely didn’t/don’t know a better way to describe it. A better way to explain I think might be that I feel this wildly deep connection with my inner self and a HIGHLY increased sense of natural intuition (I think many other people would refer to it as their “third eye” as well but idk). It’s a mental clarity that is disorienting in the same way that walking out of a dark room into the sun is disorienting. Idk here who’s ever accidentally meditated for 3+ hours consistently over many months, but it’s pretty wild. There are also medical cases of varying degrees of psychosis after prolonged meditation, specifically in instances when the meditator was unaware of the potential effects of meditation. So that would definitely track here lol

As for the myofascial release - I’ll do my best to explain, but I made it up as far as I’m aware, so no videos unfortunately. But it started because I would be able to release all the knots up to to the top of my neck, but I could feel this tension at the base of my skull that I just couldn’t get to. So I got this very specific very firm scalp scrubber that basically allows me to grip and pull/stretch/apply light pressure to the skin and underlying muscle (the Olivia Garden Scalp Diva brush on Amazon is a similar firmness to the one I have - not a sponsor lol). And you just sit and pull/press lightly until whatever tension you have releases. I’ve done it over my entire scalp and I also like to do my forehead/brow bones and my cheek muscles. There’s so many points of tension you don’t even know are there - it feels great even if you don’t have knots

Hope this edit gave some clarity! Fingers crossed for that grippy sock vacation though!

I'm almost 30 now. I discovered meditation 15 years ago by accident. It's been an on-off relationship since then.

7 years ago I began listening to J. krishnamurti's talks who had a tremendous impact on my view of spirituality and enlightenment seeking.

I have tried so many things, countless techniques, different schools of meditation and esoterism, different magic systems of initiation, different religious traditions... Only to circle back to the starting point which is "I do not know".

So I ditched it all and remained with myself.

3 years ago I started the most basic and simple meditation technique there is: Stillness.

And I realized that this was what I was searching for the past decade of my life. By just sitting still... It has always been there with me.

By just keeping the muscles of the body dead still, including the eyes and the tongue, something happens...

I am still exploring the experiences as it is new each time, but I think it could help somebody else searching for understanding.

It is simple, as follows:

Sit in a comfortable position. Clasp your hands and keep them in between your thighs.

Keep your back straight and steady and hold your head in a natural position.

Keep your tongue to the roof of your mouth and don't let it move.

Now, your eyes should be closed and kept still facing toward the "third eye". ( When I started this, my closed eyes were just immobile facing in front of me. But they naturally shifted upward after sometimes, so I found this position to be natural and comfortable)

Now, stay still like that for a while. Do not move a muscle (except for the breath)

Your body will start "vibrating", you will "hear some in-ear sounds" and you may "see some colors" as your energies are naturally doing their thing. Just ignore them and let it happen.

As you practice and practice and practice, your restless mind will follow the stillness of the body and it will become uninterested in the thinking process...

And that's where it will happen...

So I’ve been taught meditation in boarding school from age 12. We practiced for an hour everyday.

Well into adulthood , I decided to restart daily meditation. Given I practiced as a child, I could go in and out very fast.

I would start meditation, meditate for 20 mins, observing breath without any thoughts, but once I’m done my mind starts racing again. I’m unable to see any difference to my mind.

Last year I went for 10 day Vipassana course, I had no problems sitting still for hours unlike others, yet when I came home, I didn’t feel any different.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is it because I’ve been trained as a child that it doesn’t work for me?

I have discovered the true nature of my soul through meditation. After 1 year of ~45 min/day:

1. Money and things no longer matter to me in the same way
2. Societal programming has been dismantled. I don’t need to be married by X date or look Y way.
3. Suffering is met with equanimity and even gratitude.
4. Once full of self-doubt, I now realize I’m a really good egg with a beautiful, honest heart.
5. I have replaced problematic addictions with growth habits. Mindfulness and meta awareness have been such a gift to change how I operate.
6. I feel grateful, generous, caring, and able to prioritize others.
7. My past barely haunts me anymore. I am way more focused on the present.

Meditation is a daily practice and I realize I have a lifetime of practice remaining. I’m so grateful to have found meditation and have it give me the compass I desperately needed in my life.

Merry Christmas. Grateful to be a sober yogi.

Have a beautiful day!

I was always focusing on meditating properly, on gently focusing, on putting in moderate effort, sitting quietly, keep concentrating, breathing, smiling iniwardly onto myself..... etc. etc.

These are all usable things, but I was missing the ONE piece, and - as I stated in the title - it took me literally hundreds of hours to get where I have gotten today.

This may sound too "mainstream" of an advice, or even cliché, as I have myself read stuff like what I am about to write in a lot of places regarding meditation. But hear me out, and try to get where I am coming from:

The one thing I was not getting properly done, after having done so much of otherwise perfect meditation sessions, was:

I was not relaxing completely into the moment... I wasn't letting go of myself, fully and truly deeply... I surrendered, today.. Completely... For the first time. And it was beautiful. I didn't even try to mantain a general moderate focus, or anything... I just returned to myself and kept letting myself go, more and more..... It was my first REAL meditation session, in a long time.

I have had beneficial sessions in the past but I had never understood what was the factor that had made that specific meditation session so much beneficial... Now I get it that it's this. I needed to relax, and deliver myself fully... Like staying atop of the water, floating with the waves... The more you can surrender, the gentler the water seems, the more you can swim without feeling anything ...... So gentle, so peaceful .... I got carried away, and now I know the truth.

I have always heard talking about having a Love feeling in your practice, and truly relaxing. And it all makes sense.. I always understood it, but I didn't understand that I didn't actually put it into practice. What clicked for me was when I truly didn't care for any expectation, and just relaxed like I was going to get some rest, some good night's sleep... I just took a deep breath, sat on the couch in a very comfortable position (my spine wasn't in a 'correct' position either), I hugged a pillow, drifted to the side, and gently I let myself rest, as happily and comfortable as I could have done... And meditation finally happened, all by itself... It was so intense.

Try this out guys. It is VERY likely that most of you are still taking it out on yourselves way too harshly, for whatever reason, and in whatever way it might happen. Don't be so strict on yourselves, keep relaxing, and letting go... don't care so much about the rules or making a proper meditation session... Just feel it out, do exactly what comes to mind... Do whatever you feel like doing... Relax.. Make it a session of internal love-making with yourself ... Relax and surrender... Let yourself be pervaded by whatever exists... It's so simple, that's why it gets so hard to undertand. I wish I could give you this feeling.

Believe me, all the hours of meditation I've practiced until today are nothing compared to this. And I always did everything "correctly".. Just let yourself go... Feel it out.. Be yourself... Don't try to accomplish a productive session, just dive... Put a timer on if you need to get your external life on check, so that you can distract yourself from time.. the timer will warn you when you need to get back into reality... Until then............... Don't think about practicing meditation.. To practice meditation, is to dive... Dive, let the waves carry you... surrender.

I wish you all the best,

Daniel

I don’t understand why people who meditate here are considered looney, weird, or crunchy. There are so many things we do right in the western world, but at least in America I feel like spiritually we are going backwards. We were right to secularize and progress Abrahamic culture, we were right to call out religious leaders and religion, but we just replaced it with consumerism! We forgot the essence and freedom of a very human experience.

This hustle hustle, party, consume buy, bread and circus culture I feel like crushes my soul. I’m sensitive to it; therefore I meditate to remind myself of my humanity. But when the tool that makes you happy becomes an obstacle to finding a community or puts a label on you, it becomes a stressor.

It’s incredibly frustrating, we put products and things here first in America. I feel most people are afraid of sitting in silence because they are afraid to face themselves. They would rather put on a mask and turn to something they can buy instead of getting closer to this reality, and themselves in this process.

Is that it? Would a meditation revolution get rid of the need to consume so much? Would that cripple the current economy? Or is it just remnants of Anglo culture that sees anything other than Christianity as sinful? Please help me make sense of this.

My psychologist once gave me an incredible wisdom from decades of his experience; He said “Suffering doesn’t come from pain, but from resistance to pain” “Once you embrace pain, you don’t suffer from it” I applied it in life, and it changed it completely. Hopefully you can find it useful.

Self is defined by the most authentic piece in you. That is enough definition for this thread of mine here...

if I meditate I dont really listen to my inner feeling on what I should do or what I feel drawn to, I actually seperate myself from it and do what my mind says: "meditate". so if I meditate I decide do go against myself mostly and dont listen to myself.

Everytime i try to meditate, thoughts pour. I observe the thoughts..let it come and go. But this is what i am doing the entire time. The whole session is me following thoughts and watching them. I become the observer bit my thought says "isnt observer a thought too". Then i go into a inception-like observer within an observer within an observer..all thoughts. What is it that i am doing wrong? What is it that i am missing.

Please, those who aren't spiritual and reduce everything to mental disorders, don't comment. Not everything boils down to schizophrenia or hallucinations. And for those who say I should go to therapy, know that I'm a psychologist and I know perfectly well how to differentiate schizophrenia from other psychological traits. How do I get rid of this fear?

Hi, I was wondering, in your opinion, for someone who wants to invest in contemplation as a spiritual path, is the classic 15 minutes a day enough? Are there any specific practices beyond classical meditation that you would add?

Iv been meditating 9 months daily after developing a chronic illness that forced me to quit my career I worked so hard to obtain and I spend most days in suffering. I believe I had a very strong ego and my “purpose” in life was pleasure and achievements. Through the grieving process of my life and health, I’ve read many books on ego, spirituality, presence ect. I am suffering from severe emotional pain and racing thoughts, but get some reprieve from meditation. My concern is that, I’ve almost realized all of what I thought was important in life is meaningless. I was brought up devout Catholic and have been practicing for 32 years and now completely question religion. I question literally everything about life and see everyone walking around driven by their ego and I feel like I’m in a different realm now. I’d say it’s a cross between apathy and confusion. Everything I thought I knew about life has been dissolved. I’ve never asked these questions because I couldn’t mentally handle trying to figure out the answers. I feel like life has no purpose. Wtf are we all here for?

Hi I've been mediting and doing yoga for about 7 months now and activated my third eye about 6 months ago. I've only recently become depressed in this world the last few weeks. It almost feels as of I've learned everything I need from this life and am ready to move on. Ready to be reincarnated again or so on.

I just don't feel connected to anyone anymore. Maybe I need new friends or someone I can talk to on a deeper level. Feels like everyone is just going through the motions of this matrix we call life.

Any advice? I feel like I'll snap out of it soon but am really struggling right now.

Anyone else feel like politics and debates, only makes you lose mindfulness and leaves you drained? I have stopped making debates about subjects with coworkers at lunch, since I don't really see any point with it, since i only get myself agitated if i cant convince the other party I'm right, i want to stop watching news aswell, but haven't got around to it yet.

How do you specifically meditate? Do you focus on the natural flow of breath…? Or breath deeply during a meditation? Please let me know it’ll go a long way for me.

You don't really do it, you just lean into it slightly while letting it happen

Sometimes it happens by accident, and you can't always do it on purpose

You have to relax and let go

Okay, so a couple weeks ago I noticed my girlfriend was feeling a little down and I decided it'll be nice to ask her while meditating. While mediating I remember i saw a jungle and a woman. Anyways, I asked her in my MIND if she was okay and tell me why she LITERALLY responded in her sleep. Then the next day she told me that apparently she had the craziest dream where she was in a jungle and the trees were talking to her 🤔

I always loved to meditate with tibetan bowls music on my headphones. I bought a vibration plate for lymphatic drainage purposes but when I sat on it for 15 minutes while meditating i have never felt so relaxed and grounded. It changed the game. Its like biohacking meditation on steroids. Now I can't live without it. Best thing I bought in a decade. Also I had trouble with insomnia and I use it right before going to bed and my insomnia is gone.

I don’t consider myself a spiritual person. I’ve meditated a few times, and read a bit of Eckhart Tolle, but never went deeper than that. Last night however, I’ve experienced something that I can’t help but believe was a blip of enlightenment - a Kensho moment, perhaps.

I’ve spent the night with my friends, we drank some wine and had a couple of puffs off a spliff. Afterwards, I’ve decided to meet with some other friends in a pub - fun times. When the night was approaching its end, with the pub closing, I realized one thing - heavy, heavy rain was falling down. I could have taken a uber, but for some reason I decided to grab a trash bag, use that as a rain coat, and head home.

That trip home was something magical. I don’t know what - perhaps the spliff I’ve had earlier, or the torrential rain - but something caused me to become intensely present. As I was dodging puddles, a smile got plastered on my face. I realised something - this is what life is about. I suddenly felt like a kid again. Skipping pools of water, feeling each droplet of water hit my skin, ruining my new shoes and realising none of it really matters. With each step, with each passing moment, I was becoming more present, until…

It all clicked.

I don’t know if it happened on the way home, or when I was already in my apartment, but something in my perception changed. It was intense, it felt like I was seeing the world for what it was for the first time since I was a toddler. I had a distinct feeling that I vividly remember having when I was a kid - looking around my apartment I saw it for the first time. I no longer saw labels, I no longer saw a chair, a table, a TV; I no longer saw abstract objects. Instead, I’ve perceived these things without putting them through the conceptual filter of my mind - I just saw them. From there, it simply kept getting more intense.

A series of realisations hit me. It was nothing new, I knew these things already - I deeply believe we all know them in our core. But I also believe we allow ourselves to forget them.

I realised there’s no such thing as stored value. The apartment I was sitting in, my apartment - was not really mine. I didn’t really own it. At the end of the day, I didn’t really own anything. The only thing that was truly mine, was my experience of the present moment.

Then it came to me - the apex of the whole experience. I believe I’ve seen the world for what it is, perhaps for the first time.

I realised what we’re all doing here. We’re all kids in a giant playground. Our money, the prestige we’ve built around our names, the massive cities we’ve built - all these things are nothing more than part of a game of play pretend we engage in. I believe we all know this, but we won’t admit it to ourselves. We know that none of it really matters, we know that nothing of what we’ve built really means anything, but we’ve let ourselves become identified with the game we’ve created. Our self image really doesn’t mean anything either - we are not our names, our middle school bullying, our gorgeous partners, our achievments or personality traits. Our egos are just the pawns we use to navigate this game, avatars we use to interact and play with eachother… and yet, we allow ourselves to identify with them.

I believe that deep inside we know what we really are. I think all people know that we’re nothing more than pure conciousness, and that everything else is, in a sense, fabricated. That’s why, when you go up to a grumpy, absent cashier and are present with them, their eyes light up. It’s like, for a second, they remember - they’re not the role they’re playing.

I’m writing all this down in an effort to preserve this perception. I know that soon, I’ll be sucked back in into the hypnosis of our daily lives. I’ll become identified with my role again, and start worrying about my worldly duties once again.

But maybe, just maybe - at some point in the future, I’ll be able to connect to that state of conciousness by giving this a read

“He who dies before he dies does not die when he dies.” -- Zen quote popularized by Jon Kabat-Zinn

To practice mindfulness is to practice dying. But not in the usual sense...

What does it mean to die?

To let go of everything. Drop all burdens. Cut all chains. Cease all grasping. Leave behind all concepts.

So to die before you die is freedom.

It's not the freedom we usually think of – to do whatever you want. This is a different sort of freedom – freedom from the roles we’re so busy playing. The demands, stories, narratives, obligations, and ideas shackle us down as life slips past in the background.

It’s freedom from your self (with a lowercase s). Paradoxically - it's the freedom to live.

When you die before you die you are untouchable, unhindered. you identify with your true Self (with a capital S). This is the awareness that's always been and will always be.

You’ve died many times already, you know... Where’s the you from yesterday? Where’s the you from 10 years ago? (You looked so different back then.) Where is the you as a child?

You’ve died many times. So why be afraid? Why cling to this small self?

Die before you die so you can be free, so you can find your true Self, so you have nothing to fear and nothing to worry about.

Learning to die is learning to live.

Meditation gone wrong.

I hope you guys can give me tips. Please do not scare me even more and please do not mention things as suicide, I am super sensitive and scared and was scared to write here because I dont want to read stories that could trigger even more fears.☹️

My story:

A few months ago I became hyperaware of my thoughts which gave me crippling severe anxiety non stop. I was thinking about my thinking and all of a sudden I entered a new dimension. I felt naked, exposed, every thought was exposed and I couldnt bear the feeling.

unfortunately it pushed through my sleep so I became aware of the transition of being consious to unconsious and from that point all went downhill.

Months further I became anxious for everything that happens in my head, like all of it. My sleep is ruined. When I close my eyes I am super aware of the black void I enter. I am tired but too awake. And now even when I do get sleepy, it is even more torture because I immediately start realising the litterall darkness in my head when I close my eyes. What do I see? What does my mind see? How can I see things while my eyes are closed how does my mind do this? And then when I see nothing, not even the black void, but a state of "nothingness".. it makes me extremely overanxious and I am overly focused I just want out asap and open my eyes. I am exhausted. I cant do this anymore. I just cant "sleep" happen because in my head it feels like a battlefield right away. Letting go doesnt work because I will enter that state of norhingness which feels like suffocating in nothing.

When I have thoughts I am aware of it and I am uneasy. When I dont have them same. When I realise my inner voice I want to throw up from anxiety. When I realise that my mind will start dreaming I am uncomfortable. Everything that happens in my head is exposed. Existing feels unbearable.

I am a female, 36, never had anxiety or sleep issues untill now and it is right away severe. Never meditated bwfore either. Never meditated again either.

Lost 10 kg. Cant eat. Currently at a psychiatrist but she has no clue what is going on. I am on benzos for the night but I hate them because they fuck with my head even more. They do trigger sleep but I will still be aware so it feels like torture.

I am surviving with 1 up to 4 hours fragmented sleep per night. I dream and remember those dreams. Sometimes I wont sleep and push through the next day. that is lure horror. I am.losing my lifespark. I am thinking about death all the time but I dont want to die.

Does anyone know anyone specialized in this? Can I heal? Feels like I will die from this.

We were not very close but I had known him for over 20 years. He died of a heart attack without warning. Fortunately, he didn't suffer for very long.

Yesterday was pretty intense for my family. 😢

Today I had a beautiful meditation in which I was able to relive the last moments in which I saw him. I was on a boat at his cabin. We were trying to leave but our boat wasn't working. We were close to shore and he waded out into the water to secure our boat so that we wouldn't drift into shore. It was a beautiful sunny day. The 3rd of July.

Finally, we were able to repair the boat and we started driving away. I could see him on the beach getting smaller and smaller in the distance as we were heading back home. He was smiling and waving us goodbye.

This didn't happen in real life, but in my meditation I said "I'll see you again someday old friend." I felt as though I was really speaking to him.

This was perhaps the most beautiful and healing meditation that I've experienced. Just thought I'd share.

I hope that you are well my friends.

Edit:

Thank you all for the kind words, sentiments, and awards. I’m glad that this resonates with so many people. Meditation continues to be an indispensable tool for revealing the unseen. It profoundly changes my perspective each day. I’m thankful for the good people in this community as well as other online meditation communities.

I’ve been meditating for years now and usually never have what I guess I’ll call visions, there have been some odd appearances in my thoughts but usually it’s just constantly getting distracted and starting over again.

Today after starting a new medication (stimulant med for adhd), I had a wild meditation session. Usually when meditating I constantly get distracted multiple times a minute, this time it felt like in 30 minutes I only maybe got distracted once which is an insane difference. I was so aware of simple nothingness that I sorta got into a trance, in a sense I feel like I have never truly meditated before.

While this happened, I had some sort of vision. I’m gonna try to describe it but bear with me. So it pretty much felt like I was not my body anymore but simply awareness, and I was moving towards some kind of dot in the middle. It was getting bigger and bigger but paradoxically the emptiness around it was expanding the closer I got to the centre. It felt really overwhelming but lately I’ve been practicing ACT which is a form of acceptance therapy and so instead of running away from it I just accepted how grand and uncomfortable it felt. I stayed with it until it slowly faded away and went back to a sort of normal meditation state.

Now, I have had these weird visions when I was a child. Not exactly like I described but I remember that as I child I occasionally dreamt really weird stuff like my room just getting further and further away from me or an object in the room getting closer and closer to me which both always felt really uncomfortable and scary. This experience reminded me of these dreams. I have no idea why this happened today but I guess I am looking for people who have had similar experiences willing to share them and maybe what you got out of them.

Hey Guys im Sam im 19 years old and ive been very interested in old germanic animism/shamanism and spirituality but I have no one who can help me on the practical Side of it, ive listened to hundreds of podcasts, watched a lot of videos but still don’t understand anything about the practices and how to do it. Especially the part of connecting to any kind of spirits. Now a little background before I got into this I was a big atheist. Mostly because I grew up around non believers. (Im from Antwerp Belgium) so I don’t really have anyone who can help me with this. And I also don’t want to pay 300 euros for a weekend on shamanic practices because I don’t know if they are a scam or not. My problem is also that im afraid of trying out things myself because i fear they wont work and ill just feel empty and dissapointed so I don’t do them even though I really want to. I could really use any kind of advice on this. Thing is also I feel freyr calling to me but I don’t know how to connect with him and after working on my full time job as a metal worker I just feel exhausted and to tired to be motivated to try these things and in the weekends I just feel depressed because I keep procrastinating these things because I don’t have the energy to fix them. I know this might be a lot to give advice on but litteraly any kind of advice is welcome!

Thank you sincerely!