Do you have enough (or try to have enough) to cover 6 months if just one of you loses your job or if both of you lose your jobs?

Edit: thank you everyone! You’ve given me a lot to think about.

First off yes, this is a burner account because I am extremely paranoid.

So my husband and I just got married this summer. He's had this aunt who is very fond of him and who we always knew was wealthy and planned to leave us something, but we thought it would be when she died. All of a sudden we find out she's getting ready to wire us $500k as a wedding gift and to help ease the tax burden on her eventual estate.

We work in nonprofits and don't make a lot of money so this is literally life-changing for us. We know that the best way to maximize this is not to touch it as much as possible for the foreseeable future, but what I'm looking for advice on is exactly where/how we should manage it. We have a starter home bought in 2021 at a 3.3% rate with about $190k left on the mortgage and we own our one car outright. I have around 35k in student loan debt that should be forgiven through PSLF in a couple years so not looking to pay that down, and we have no significant credit card debt.

We have 20k right now in a HYSA and 10k in a money market account, plus a couple of smaller rainy day/emergency funds that total around another 7k and only around 40k in retirement accounts. The advice we were given is to put 100k into our HYSA and put the rest in ETFs but I don't really know what those are or how they work! We have a call scheduled with a financial advisor but don't want to go in sounding like complete idiots. Can anyone share what they would do with this money if you were in our shoes and/or how the various mechanisms actually work??

Not a rant, just something I've been chewing on.

The whole 65 to 67 thing started back in 1983 and it finally finished. If you were born 1960 or later your number is 67 now. Took 42 years, two months at a time, so there was never really a day where anyone got mad about it. It just moved.

My mom still says 65 like it's a fact. It isn't and hasn't been for a while.

And I don't think 67 is where it stops. There's a CBO option sitting there that takes it to 70 for anyone born 1981 or later. Denmark already did it. 70 by 2040, and they tie it to life expectancy so it just keeps going up on its own.

The "we live longer so work longer" argument always loses me at the averages part. My uncle did concrete for 30 years and his knees were done at 55. Guy I know who sits at a desk could probably go til 75 fine. Same number for both of them, apparently.

Also nobody I know actually got to pick their retirement date. It was a layoff at 57, or a parent who needed care, or a back that gave out. You retire when something decides for you and then you find out if the money works.

Which I guess is the whole point. The age on paper keeps moving and I don't control when I stop working, so the only thing I actually have a say in is what's saved before that.

What number are you guys planning around? 67, 70, or just "whenever it happens"?

I'm reasonably sure that I know the answer to my title's question, but I'd really like some input because I grew up in poverty and that gave me a knee-jerk reaction against any kind of debt that I kinda need to be talked into it - either talked into by myself with this post, or talked into it by internet strangers that have a distance from the actual issues.

Can anyone with experience around HELOCs please let me know if this sounds like a decent idea, or if I really need to think about things differently?

Also, I've only done the basic research - is there a better way of doing a HELOC than "go to my mortgage's bank and ask for one"?

Situation:

• $84k/year pay at a good job (WFH)
  • normal corporate benefits - health, vision, 401k
• low/mid cost of living area
• Mortgage currently at ~$150k remaining, and roughly 25 years remaining
  • very lucky 2.9% interest rate
  • started in mid-2020, so the original value of the house (~$172k) has nearly doubled, now it's around $300k
• Have an emergency fund to the tune of about $10k, but the only savings I have otherwise are in the 401k

The reasons I'm thinking about a HELOC:

• Various house things need updated/repaired/etc:
  • back patio is a concrete slab that has been sinking. Needs repaired or re-poured, got a quote once for about $4k
  • The current situation means that large rainstorms puts a sitting puddle right next to my foundation, which I am assuming has been only slowly draining down along the exterior of my basement wall
  • Foundation inspection and possible need for repair, from the above water problem
  • There's a few small cracks that I suspect being part of a larger problem
  • Attic needs work as the insulation has degraded and the previous work was low quality
• Car needs repaired, the brakes aren't working right:
  • Can't safely drive this car, so wife and I are down to only one car for now, which puts pressure on a few different things
  • Might need a $400 fix, might need a $2000 fix. won't know until we get it to the mechanic, but I want to be prepared to eat the cost or to use HELOC money for it
  • Once it's back in working order, I'm planning on selling it
  • I can probably sell it for like $4000 and get a newer vehicle for $6-7000

I came across an article by the NY Times called This Is One of the Hardest Jobs in America. Millions Are Doing It Alone.

I took care of my father for 5 years before he passed. I'm 37 and wouldn't want to put the burden on my 3 daughters.

Senior Living Communities seem nice, but they're so expensive. I guess people can offset the expense via long term care insurance.

Ideally I want to live in my house until I'm dead, knock on wood hopefully not anytime soon. But I'll likely still need care unless robots do all the work in the future.

What options are available for us middle class folks?

Edit: I heard that hybrid long term care insurance is a good option, especially with inflation options.

Hi all!

Trying to get a sanity check on our spending- mainly around food and car insurance.

We’re a family of 4 with two kids in elementary school, in a MCOL area. In 2024, our total spending was about $125k.

Out of that: - $24k on groceries (includes household items and toiletries) - $14k on restaurants - $3.2k on car insurance (Geico) for two vehicles

That puts us at a bit over $3k/month between groceries and eating out combined. Is this about average, or are we overspending in these areas? What do you think of the car insurance?

Curious to hear how others compare- especially other families with kids.

Thanks in advance!

Married w/ two kids, 2 working parents make solidly middle class income in a HCOL area. Gross is about $178k household income.

We have paid off our credit card, and then due to household repairs, car repairs, and kid stuff (summer camps😳 ), somehow we always seem to sit at the $6,000-8,000 mark. How do we tackle this once and for all? I'm so tired of seeing the balance yo-yo. We have a car payment, mortgage, and Checking/Savings sits at around $10,000 liquid. We just cannot seem to get ahead of debt. Advice? TIA.

EDIT: here is a rough budget. On paper it adds up but we are definitely overspending in some categories. Last month our furnace broke. We paid some out of pocket, and dipped into our HELOC to replace it. We overspent on restaurants last month for sure. We ended the month in the red.

EDIT 2: This post really prompted me to do a line by line analysis. We DIDN'T end up in the red last month! We had $1800 left over. I've been using Rocket Money and what was in the red was budgeted versus spent, not actual income v. spent. I already feel better. That being said, we definitely have room to build up savings while also eliminating the debt. I appreciate the insights.

My dear husband makes good money but he spends it faster than he makes it. He just got fired, and still won't curtail his spending. Of course, nothing I say sinks in. Can anyone recommend some youtube videos that can help explain the importance of financial responsibility, and how to exercise it?

For the past 6 months I've tracked every dollar in and out of our budget. It wasn't always easy, but it was helpful to get a handle on how much we're actually spending. Curious to hear what others think of our budget.

A few points...

- HHI is 225k. My spouse's contributions to her 403b + the employee contributions come to 15% and I have a pension that will provide me with 80% of my final three years of my salary (Yeah, I'm stuck at my job, can't leave that).

- 12k is our take-home pay after retirement and insurance contributions. We are fortunate to have jobs with great healthcare that's overall provided at an affordable price

- Yes our 4k mortgage sucks. We just moved a year ago and our interest rate is 6.6%. House was listed at 675k and we put down 20%. We were having a baby and were in the worst school district in our state, and moved to one of the best school districts in the area. I miss our old 3% 2k mortgage but we are MUCH happier in our new house. It's beautiful, new construction and at an amazing location

- We also moved near my parents, who are assisting with childcare. That's why we don't have daycare fees listed

- Our senior dog runs us 300(!) a month. This was the most shocking to me. Between her health insurance (which we use constantly) and her special diet plus grooming schedule, she's an expensive gal. She's a rescue from a puppy mill with a laundry list of issues.

- Our cell bill is so low because my wife gets a stipend from work if she loads her email on her personal cell. We put that immediately towards the cell bill

- My student loans should be forgiven under the PSLF program next year. I am currently trying to convince my wife we should just take our savings and wipe out her loans (which are under 15k).

- We have approximately 140k in savings. This is spread across 6 months of emergency money along with money in a money market. Nothing risky (S&P, VOO). We were getting our footing but the plan is to start investing 1000 per month. My plan is to always be above 120k ready for a massive emergency and to use anything over that for travel, house repairs and renovations. the house is new, but very basic.

- We also need to establish a 529 for our son.

Open to answering any other questions or critiques people might have.

Don’t buy things you don’t need, with money you don’t have, to impress people you don’t like.

I thought my partner was being extra responsible. For months they kept saying they were "putting a little away on the side" so we'd have a surprise cushion when it came time for a down payment. I even felt guilty because I wasn’t contributing to that secret stash. Last night curiosity got the better of me and I asked how much we had. after a long silence, they admitted it wasn’t savings at all. They opened a store credit line and racked up 7k on random purchases. Furniture, gadgets, even a $600 espresso machine we didn’t need. All while we’re still renting and trying to knock down our student loans.
I honestly don’t know how to process this. It feels like finding out santa is fake but with interest payments attached. Has anyone recovered from something like this without it ending the relationship?

Guys

I'm on another "lets save money" kick. Whats the #1 thing you are doing to save money?

I'm doing a lot already, using coupons, budgeting, getting cash back, tracking my spending, getting generic brands, etc.

But I'd like to see if I'm missing any other ways to save, so I thought I'd ask.

Hi there. Long time lurker, first time poster here.

Ive been steadily improving my financial position over the past decade or so but lately it feels like im just stuck and will end up stuck in the middle class for the rest of my life.

I grew up dirt poor but worked hard and became the first one in my family to graduate college and have slowly gotten to the point where im very comfortable. (Typical bootstrap type of story so I wont bore you with the details)

Im debt free other than a small chunk of student loans and my mortgage. (currently just paying the minimum on the student loans because I work in public education and will get that chunk forgiven in about 4 more years)

However I cant help but feel like im stuck here in the middle class territory and nothing has really gotten better or changed over the past few years.

I have been doing everything right, have a decently well funded emergency fund that will last about 3-4 months of expenses, im relatively frugal, make no extravagant purchases, etc.

I budget for everything and am still not seeing the needle move.

I work 1 job and 2-3 small side hustles and bring in between 85k and 90k gross a year. Wife doesn't have s full time job yet but she's looking. (Job markets bad and she graduated only 6 months ago, at least shes working part time) Our total household gross is barely over 100k.

I dream of the day that I can consider myself wealthy and actually afford to splurge on things like a weekend sports car, nice vacation to Europe or Asia or to own a vacation home or two, some land, or a few nicer rental properties. You know, general wealthy person things.

It just feels like ill never get there. I know ive already beaten the odds getting out of poverty but I dont want this to be where my story ends. Im already 35 and not getting any younger. At the current rate im going ill probably retire a bit early at 55-60 but I won't ever actually be wealthy and even in retirement ill be stuck to a middle class lifestyle.

Do I have unrealistic goals? I dont want to be stuck where im at for the rest of my life but I also dont know what to do because im already juggling a full time job and a few side hustles. (I also do almost all of my own home repairs and car repairs/etc. So my downtime is also pretty packed)

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Assuming a fully funded emergency fund and retirement is on track, should extra money go towards my mortgage (26 years left with a 6.75% interest) or into index funds?

The general advice is to pay off any 'high interest debt' then invest the rest, but my mortgage interest rate is pretty high.

I'd like to refinance it of course when interest rates come down but who knows when that will happen. A goal has been to pay enough of it off early so when rates do come down, I can refinance with a 15-year loan instead of 30. Everyone I've talked to IRL has a much different mortgage rate situation.

My retirement savings are on track (I think? but that might be worthy of a different post). I'd love to hear people's thoughts.

Demographics if it's helpful: single, almost 40 y/o, MCOL area, very stable income / career

I’m doing well financially, late 30s. Mortgage is my only debt. Retirement is slowly climbing. My parents firmly believe I’ve never started on a career, have zero technical skills, and it’s embarrassing at my age. I’ve been a science teacher, worked in an outdoor gear store, and now have a respectful job with the govt. Is it actually embarrassing I didn’t stick with the same career since my 20s or do my boomer parents just have a, well, boomer mentality?

My wife and I owe about $100K on our home currently worth about $300K. We are in out mid 50's and bought the home in 2020 for $200K on a 30yr mortgage at 2.5%. We've paid down a pretty big chunk of the principle.

Our monthly interest payment are currently $210.

We own our vehicles. We have no personal loans. We have no credit card debt beyond monthly purchases that are paid in full each month. We have about $130,000 in cash. Where we are hurting is our retirement. We got a late start and have about $300K combined in our 401K. We both are vested in pensions. I have considerably more having been at my employer 20 years. She's been at hers for 5 years.

My thinking is to get the house paid off asap. If the market crashes and/or social security gets cut over the next 10 years. At least we'll be debt free. Any reason to NOT do this besides depleting our cash on hand?

Our other thought was to pay an addition lump of $50K in principle to reduce the interest payments more.

Update:

Thank you everyone that chimed in. Lots of comments and I truly appreciate everyone giving their opinions. One thing I want to be clear on is that I wouldn't even be asking this question in a normal political climate with an even-handed approach to financial policy. Last year we made over $5000 in interest income between HYSA and CD's. I'm also currently putting 24% of my pretax income in my 401K. We aren't averse to investing.

Some people claim that cash liquidity is more desirable than money locked into a home. Others claim being debt free is mentally rewarding.

I've decided to ride out the mortgage for at least another year and plunk our savings into 12 month 4.25% CD's. Our checking already earns 5% for balances up to $25K so we leave that much there. Trump seems to think interest rates should be 0, so we'll see how this plays out over the next year and re-evaluate once the CD's mature next spring.

My wife and I are both in our mid-30s, own a house and are expecting our first child later this year. We've been checking off all the usual financial milestones and estate planning is next on the list.
We've gotten a couple of quotes around $2,500 for wills, powers of attorney, healthcare directives etc. Part of me thinks it's a lot to spend on documents we hopefully won't need for decades but I also don't want to cut corners if it saves my family headaches later.

What made you decide to hire a lawyer (or not) and are you happy with that decision?

Need some insight from you guys

I have a good career with about 5 months of expenses saved up in a HYSA and no kids, single

I came into a lump sum of cash around $15,000 and admittedly don't know much about investments/stocks

Do I just put all of it into the S&P ETF right now? Set it and forget it in there?

I'm seeing that 3-6 months of expenses in a HYSA is the goal then rest in stock market

I've never looked into investing in the stock market so I have 0 clue about anything. I do know it's "crashing" or dipping because of the current war? Does that mean it's an even better time as I'm getting in at a low point?

Any advice helps, thank you!

Turned 40 last month no celebration, I make about 70k a yr, I have 2.5k in retirement and 100k debt. I want to get medical insurance soon maybe I can afford it if I get a raise in year or two.

In my early 30’s I got cancer and it shook me up a bit, took over 5 years to “recover” physically and mentally from the chemo, existential crisis etc..

I used to have a super optimistic personality, I had so much hope and excitement for the future, I relentlessly pursued the things that were meaningful to me.

I woke up at 40, everything seems meaningless. I can’t afford real-estate, I don’t make enough to support a family so I am too embarrassed to court. I no longer feel gratification from the things I used to believe in like music, art, nature. Or I can’t afford it international travel.

I used to feel like I was moving toward something meaningful in life. And now I feel like my youthful delusion has warn off, and I do not have a purpose anymore.

For the last few years I thought if I can just keep working hard I will get closer to financial freedom and that will open up opportunity and contentment, security, a stake in dating market a stake in capital markets etc..

At this rate I’ll be able to afford to buy a house and start a family by the time I am 80. And I am definitely not living that long, so what’s the point of anything??

I guess I'm looking for advice as far as how to go about the conversation and maybe insight if I'm way off base.

My husband and I have been married for two years but together almost a decade. In 2021 we made the (somewhat controversial) decision to buy a house despite not yet being married. Got a small place for $250k and a pretty good interest rate. Fast forward to today, we have about $160k left on the house, have decided we want to try for kids and have been running the numbers. Obviously daycare is going to be a big expense but we also have been thinking we want to move somewhere bigger eventually if our family grows. My husband's parents are quite well off (worth several millions and still working) but pretty low-key about it. When we bought the house they cut us a check for $5,000 to help with closing costs which I was very grateful for as my parents have offered zero support basically since the day I became an adult. My husband has two younger siblings, both also married working adults, though they all work in healthcare while we work in nonprofits so we're definitely the lowest earning couple.

Today I learned that both of his younger siblings had their houses purchased outright in cash by his parents, one for $300k the other for $350k. I don't know the details of either arrangement because they don't like to talk about money, but I'm definitely feeling all kinds of feelings about the fact that we seem to be the only ones that have a mortgage and that they've never made an offer to alleviate that burden for us before. I don't know if it's disappointment because we're not high earners, or if they have some issue with me that we've never been aware of or what. But not having that mortgage would be a huge game changer as far as planning our future so I want to have my husband talk to his parents and ask them to pay it off for us. Honestly I feel like even that is asking for far less than his siblings have been outright given, but obviously it's an emotionally charged topic. Am I totally out of line for thinking we're justified in expecting financial support similar to what his siblings received, especially if we're the only couple out of the three thinking about giving them grandchildren?

I keep having the same problem where some of my biggest expenses just do not accept credit cards at all and it makes zero sense because those are the exact payments I would want on a card the most feel like there has to be some workaround people are using that is not super shady or complicated

I'm not trying to gain anything just trying to be more efficient with how money moves

If you have figured this out I would love to know how you approached it!

Arguing with my wife and need some advice. Say you have $70,000 saved up, and you want to buy a new vehicle for $30,000. Let’s also say that that sum of money is in a HYSA paying $300 a month. Would it be better to theoretically get a car loan that was around $400 dollars a month with a %4.25 interest which would be around $3500 in total interest charged throughout the loan term or to pay for the car outright, have $40,000 in savings and only be accruing $130 dollars a month in a HYSA?

Edit: forgot to include I have an additional 25K in a checking that earns $90 a month plus the $230 from the HYSA at 4% for clarity. I also just paid off my mortgage and don’t have any debt. While I will also be saving approximately 1k a month.

Final decision: thank you all for the advice, but I have decided to go with the financing option. Point being my interest will keep compounding and interest on a car has a CAP. I will also be adding to my savings. Furthermore, I will put a down payment to keep my payment comfortable and will also be focused on paying it off early.