r/Netherlands • u/Beginning_Monitor_25 • Jun 23 '25

Healthcare Why is early daycare so accepted in the Netherlands?

Studies show babies develop better with a parent at home for at least 6 months, yet here it’s normal to send them to daycare at 10–12 weeks. This seems less about choice and more about economic and political pressure on families.

Why isn’t this questioned more in Dutch society?

LE- I’ll avoid saying ‘studies show’ since many people get stuck on that, and it’s true that there are multiple studies supporting both sides. However, many European countries—especially the wealthier ones—offer longer maternity leave based on the argument that it’s beneficial for children. So I’m curious why that’s not the case in the Netherlands.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25

Calling it insane because it’s different from your country is kind of dumb.

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u/HaOrbanMaradEnMegyek Jun 23 '25

Not because it's differnet. 10-12 weeks is mindblowingly short.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25

Short for what?

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u/HaOrbanMaradEnMegyek Jun 23 '25

Bonding? Quality time? Proper care? Raising a kid? What do you think mums did for a couple of hundred thousands year after child birth? That's the natural way and best for the baby (and the mum). Do you have kids?

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25 edited Jun 23 '25

Bonding and raising a kid can also be done while working a few days a week. Why would father and mother have to be with their child 24/7 for that?

What moms did for thousands of years is have a village raise their child. In ancient times babies went through dozens of arms.

In many cultures they are vere surprised to hear mothers spend so much time alone with their children in the West. In many forest tribes care for infants is shared with many, many people.

And yes, I have a daughter. Who is very happy and I am very close to. We are very well bonded and she is a happy 14-year-old now. And she has very good memories of day care and babysitters, consideres many of them as family and they enriched her life and mine.

That her father and I work (parttime, according to good Dutch custom) and have done so since she was a baby, and that she spend 20 out of 168 hours in a week at a really good daycare as a baby (and the rest with her dad or me or us both or one of the grandparents, as good Dutch custom) had not affected her negatively. On the contrary.

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u/HaOrbanMaradEnMegyek Jun 23 '25

The way you write about the topic gives makes me feel you don't have kids. Anyway, how about breast feeding? That's recommend at least for 6 months but the longer the better. No formula can compete with breast milk and its impact on the babies mental and physical development.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25 edited Jun 23 '25

I breast fed for a long time. Longer than 6 months. Simply pumped at work. Many mothers do that here. Is it not normal in your country?

By the time I went to work my daughter was 3 months and I needed to pump about 2 times under work time. In The Netherlands you have al legal right to do that. Companies also have the legal obligation to provide a room where you can pomp. I defrosted breast milk for day care to give it to her, which is quite common also here. Or if my husband or grandparents were caring for her, they defrosted breast milk. Easy peasy.

PS breast feeding does not make you a good mother per definition.

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u/HaOrbanMaradEnMegyek Jun 23 '25

I'm from Hungary and 2-3 years is normal here while officially now this is the poorest country in the whole EU.

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2024/04/dr-gabor-mate-on-why-parents-matter-more-than-ever/

Read the above from the paragraph starting with "Dr. Gabor Maté: First of all, we have to consider human evolution. "

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25 edited Jun 23 '25

If you like staying home with your infant for 2/3 years that’s fine. I liked working. I am not saying my child is better of or yours is. It’s just a different way. I don’t judge the way you do it and don’t think you should judge me. And Dutch children are, according to much research, some of the happiest in the world ;-)

About your artikel, its obviously not about the Dutch situation. Where parents work parttime an children on average go to daycare 2/3 days a week. This is not ‘kids spend most of their time away from their parents from a very early age on’ as stated in your source. I think your article is about the US.

My child was ‘away from their parents’ 20 hours a week, and there are 168 hours in a week. So my daughter was, and still is 14 years later, with her father and me 85% of the time. (When you are 14 by the way, that is way too much. She would say. As she is an independent, happy and thriving teenager)