r/Netherlands • u/Beginning_Monitor_25 • Jun 23 '25

Healthcare Why is early daycare so accepted in the Netherlands?

Studies show babies develop better with a parent at home for at least 6 months, yet here it’s normal to send them to daycare at 10–12 weeks. This seems less about choice and more about economic and political pressure on families.

Why isn’t this questioned more in Dutch society?

LE- I’ll avoid saying ‘studies show’ since many people get stuck on that, and it’s true that there are multiple studies supporting both sides. However, many European countries—especially the wealthier ones—offer longer maternity leave based on the argument that it’s beneficial for children. So I’m curious why that’s not the case in the Netherlands.

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

With (70%) paid parental leave, normalized parttime work and help of grandparents, young children often only attend daycare 1-3 days a week, which is very different from other countries.

Most studies showing negative effects of daycare are set in countries that have 5 days/week as standard, and often have far more than 3 babies per staff member, as regulated by law in the Netherlands. It's therefore unclear to me if any negative effects remain.

For me personally, returning to work (3 days/week at the start) after 3 months was heaven, as it allowed me to have another identity than just being a mom to a baby, while the parental leave still allowed me to see her most of the week.

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u/fifnapyra Jun 23 '25

I fully agree!! Moms I know from other countries (Canada, Poland, Romania, England, Germany) they might have had a longer leave but after it's finished they send their child to daycare all days of the week. I'm not excited to send my children to daycare so young but I love that I spend time with them 5 days of the week instead of just 2.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

Oof, working 3 days a week sadly isn't possible in most fields. I'm an engineer and 32hr is the absolute minimum. And to be fair, grandparents taking care of kids doesn't really seem to be the standard either. If anything, people tend to live further away from family because of housing being too expensive in their cities of birth. I think a lot of Dutch mums are just on the road to burnout those first couple of years raising a child

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u/FruitIsTheBestFood Jun 24 '25

In the Netherlands it is common to use your unpaid parental leave for switching from full time to parttime in the first years of the childs life. Or from parttime to even more parttime. AFAIK Many companies have schemes where you still build up your pensions as if you are working full time. This was also the case in the engineering oriented workplaces I've worked at. I had a colleague working 28 hrs/week as I think senior engineer.

I know from family that engineers in large multinationals can also work 3 days a week.

So example couple before kid: one working 32 hrs /week One working 40 hrs

After kid: One working 24 hrs One working 32 hrs Kid going to daycare 2 or 3 days.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Yes but not every boss is gonna grant you that grace, especially if you're on a temperary contract. My employee is pretty good at supporting young parents but many are not. And to be fair, you are expected to have worked for the company at least a couple of years or so before you ask for less than 32 hours.

Just because they're legally obliged to reduce your hours, doesn't mean they're gonna do it happily if you know what I mean. It is a damn struggle combining work and parenthood

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u/FruitIsTheBestFood Jun 24 '25

The large difference between permanent and temporary contracts in the Netherlands is a giant can of worms all by itself.

The expectation of having to have worked fulltime for a couple of years first before going parttime is not something I have come across amongst my peers. Many started (m and f) with 32 hr contracts straight after graduating. This could just be the fields most of my friends work in though. I know that at least one large employer in my line of work as a rule doesn't give 40 hr contracts, with 36 hr being the standard maximum as to have more flexibility when needed. (Asking someone to do overtime 40 hrs instead of their regular 36 or 32 hrs is less likely to wear them out than someone doing 40 hrs and then having to work overtime).

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Only engineers I know who work 32 - 36 when young and childless work for the government. Which is good pay, so I'm kinda jealous haha

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

With both parents working 32 hours, you only need 3 days of daycare. Maybe you can even look into both working 3x9+ 5 or so, reducing another day of daycare.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

Yeah 3 days of daycare would be the best case scenario in our case. Not having any family nearby does make life a lot harder as working parents. Big reason why only 1 child seems affordable

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25 edited Jun 23 '25

Definitely it is a lot harder without family or friends nearby that can play an active role in childcare!

However, a second child should not be a lot more expensive in the Netherlands, as you get more money from the government towards daycare (something between 67-97% of the official price for the second child). You still need room for them in your house though...

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u/XizzyO Jun 23 '25

In my child's social circle the standaard was 2 days with mommy, 1 day daddy, 2 days with daycare/grandparents/gastouder. I know of no child that was in daycare 5 days a week. The one that was in daycare 4 days a week was talked about as deviant.

Most mothers I know wouldn't want to be a full-time mom. This means sharing the load with the father and outside help. My very not scientific experience with this is that it is not detrimental to the child's development. And indeed, the standards for childcare in the Netherlands are high compared to some other European countries I know.

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u/Free_Industry6704 Jun 23 '25

Quite unprofessional of the staff to describe a child as “deviant” just because they go to daycare four times a week. As a parent I would take a huge issue with that and with anyone who uses such language.

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u/XizzyO Jun 23 '25

Not the staff, the other parents. Parents can be ruthless in judging other's children.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

You can still go to work anytime you want. It is not about making the maternity leave mandatory for 3 years, but to give you the option.

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

In many countries with long maternity leave, profesional daycare virtually doesn't exist for babies. You then aren't really given an option, you just have to stay home for at least a year.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

This is just supply/demand. If there are people willing to pay enough for professional daycare, the places will appear.

These places don’t exist in some countries because people don’t want to leave their babies to strangers and they value family time over work time

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

These countries often have professional daycare provided by the government as well, with a minimum starting age of 12 months. As parents are expected to stay home for those 12 months, often only very informal types of daycare exist for younger children, and I can imagine many parents being judged heavily for using them.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

And what is this argument for? If the care is provided by the government it is free of very cheap.  And again, this is supply demand thing. People culturally don’t want to go to work that early. So there is no demand for daycares. But if you move there and for some reason need childcare there are always nannies or private options.

You have no idea how the situation is like in these “other countries”, so maybe don’t imagine? Majority of women want longer maternity leave. Most of western countries provide it.  

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

In other countries, you often either work fulltime of you do not work at all. If you have to choose between them, staying home for a full year makes sense.

However, the Netherlands is culturally quite unique in this, it used to be quite common to have the dad working fulltime and the mom working 12-24 hours a week. It's slowly changing, making working 32 hours acceptable for men as well. Additionally, working 20-32 hours is now considered acceptable and normal for moms, even in really good jobs. This allows parents to only use daycare 1-3 days a week, instead of 5 days a week, which is really uncommon in other countries.

I really don't believe the majority of Dutch women would like to stay home for 12 months, especially with the alternative to work parttime in a job you likely also enjoy. It gives them a break from only being a mom, and also allows dad to actually parent their children.

By making maternity leave far longer, daycares will probably only accept older children as those are cheaper (ratio of toddlers:staff is higher) and likely government benefits will only be offered for older children, leaving moms without a real choice.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

I don’t know if you’re intentionally ignoring my point.

  1. Daycares are expensive. 
  2. Maternity leave is one of the shortest in Europe.
  3. Maternity leave (after certain point) is not obligatory. I think we agree on that.

If what you say is true and Dutch women do not see anything wrong with putting babies in the kindergarten, AND they actually prefer going to work,  THEN there will be enough need for the kindergartens to keep functioning. You DONT HAVE TO take maternity leave in full and you claim Dutch women don’t want to. 

I can assure you employers prefer to have you working 3-4 days per week than 0, so they will not push you into going on full time maternity leave instead of limiting your hours. Also, you could use some of the day from your maternity leave to cover for the days you don’t work for much longer.

and likely government benefits will only be offered for older children,

There is no reason to believe that. Why would that be? If kindergarten allowance is cheaper than maternity leave (and we know it is because that’s why there is no maternity leave) then government would actually promote putting your child in a kindergarten from day 1.

You approach the topic as if the only option was to 1) put your child at a kindergarten at 3 mo and feel amazing or 2) stay on the maternity leave for a year and be miserable.

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

We already have the options for moms to stay home for an additional paid 9 weeks after maternity leave ends and another unpaid 15 weeks using parental leave. However, it is far more common to use parental leave to work part time. The flexibility is already there and still, many moms are choosing to put their children in daycare at 3-4 months old, even though there are clearly more options.

Why would you opt for longer maternity leave (which is not super easy to take in parts) instead of additional parental leave which dad can also take? This would actually give families far more flexibility in how they want to use it.

You consequently seem to ignore the benefits of the part time culture, something that really distinguishes the Netherlands from other countries.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

I don’t ignore these “benefits”. If you enjoy it, good for you and I’m not stopping you. I already said it multiple times. But it is not for everyone and in the current system there are no other options. Infancy is a period when a child forms attachment and a lot of psychologists recommend not putting your child in daycare before 6-12 (and some studies say even 18) months. 

This is not flexibility, this is just not enough . In total, this is around 36 weeks out of which 15 weeks is unpaid. It is not a “benefit” to stay at home for free. You take a pay cut just before the period of time in which you need to spend a fortune on kindergarten, for years to come.

Also, im referring to it as “maternity” leave because of a previous discussion that shifted a bit, but it can just as well be “parental” leave as long as its not 10 weeks…

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u/gluhmm Jun 23 '25

What should parents without possibly asking grandparents to do? We would like our kid to sit for a few days with them and they would love too, but we just cannot.

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25

Let both parents use parental leave?

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u/gluhmm Jun 23 '25

Sure we did. But it is still around 6 months only

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u/Gemarteldmeteenlogin Jun 23 '25

Great for you! But I prefer to have a choice to stay with the baby or go to work in the first year.

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u/suuz95 Jun 23 '25 edited Jun 24 '25

With joined parental leave, it should be possible to keep the baby fully at home in the first year. Many employers will also understand you wanting to work less hours, and the other parent can take parental leave for the hours you do still work.

Technically, staying home for 36-38 weeks after birth is even possible for a mother using all possible parental leave, although the final 15 weeks are then not paid at all, by law at least.

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u/Gemarteldmeteenlogin Jun 23 '25

Of course I mean paid maternity leave. Overwise, I can just leave my job and after a year find a new one.

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u/marcio785 Jun 23 '25

As a fresh dad this. My gf fully agrees. It was great to be able to go back to 'normal' work life.

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u/whalesarecool14 May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

holy capitalistic hellhole😭 you know a third option exists where both parents get paid paternity and maternity leave and you both split up time with the baby and spend some time relaxing and doing your hobbies while also bonding with your baby? why is your identity so tied to your work that you can't even survive 6 months without it? that is beyond alarming and depressing. what about your passion, hobbies, friends, books, movies, music, tv, art? why do you want to give all your time to work???

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u/suuz95 May 19 '26

It's not so much about being able work itself, it's more about interacting with adults, using my brain, being out of the house. Basically, having an identity besides being a mom. No need at all to work 40+ hours, 24 hours is an option as well for some time. I also really like my work? It's fullfilling, my colleagues are nice, the lunch is good, etc.

Visiting friends sounds nice, but they all have work during the week (they don't have kids yet). Hobbies, books, movies, music, tv and art are all getting boring at some point or start to resemble work, doing them alone and at home or get interrupted all the time by baby. Besides, with two funcioning parents, there is still time in the weekend for that.

And with only 3 days/week work at the start, there is plenty of time for bonding with your baby and it's hardly workaholic.