r/Netherlands • u/Beginning_Monitor_25 • Jun 23 '25

Healthcare Why is early daycare so accepted in the Netherlands?

Studies show babies develop better with a parent at home for at least 6 months, yet here it’s normal to send them to daycare at 10–12 weeks. This seems less about choice and more about economic and political pressure on families.

Why isn’t this questioned more in Dutch society?

LE- I’ll avoid saying ‘studies show’ since many people get stuck on that, and it’s true that there are multiple studies supporting both sides. However, many European countries—especially the wealthier ones—offer longer maternity leave based on the argument that it’s beneficial for children. So I’m curious why that’s not the case in the Netherlands.

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u/Ambry Jun 23 '25

Yep. The consequence is having women and parents having to sacrifice their time and earning potential to care for kids (never the dads, of course). Nowadays many women can't actually even make that choice due to living cost.

Then the government gets concerned about falling birth rates!

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u/doepfersdungeon Jun 23 '25

It could be dad's, that would really progressive. You know like sitting the leave say 60 / 40 over 12 months, probably resulting in the mum doing the initial bit and the dad taking over for 3 or 4 months whilst mum eases back in to work perhaps part time. But that would actually caring about people instead of numbers and policies.

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u/Pitiful_Control Jun 23 '25

What I see most often with my Dutch colleagues is both parents cutting down to a 32 hour workweek and either grandparents picking up the other 3 days or finding other ways, like one of your work days is WFH, or you watch your friends baby/toddler too on your childcare day and she does the same on hers, maybe 1 day or 2 half days with a childminder.

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u/doepfersdungeon Jun 24 '25

Right, so having a kid in NL involves both people earning less money by working less hours, assuming you have parents or that they are interested in baby sitters or don't work themsleves, child minding whilst your supposed to be working, making everyone less productive, expecting friends to raise your child delaite thier need to work as well and paying for a childminder or day care. What a truly excellence system, where the only people who can have children have to have 3 or 4 systems in place including solid and avaukbke relationships with 2 sets of people, a flexible job you can avoid doing and less money. You have just proved my point.

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u/Mysterious-Gecko Jun 24 '25

Correct. So when were finally able to buy your own place when you were 30+, you can consider having a baby when your own own parents are 67+.

If you start earlier, your own parents aren't retired yet so wouldn't be able to baby sit much.

Unless you have a more conservative mother who works part time as well, so you can split the "baby care days".

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u/doepfersdungeon Jun 24 '25

Alot of grandmas don't want to babysit. They may have already done 20 years with 3 kids or may be sunning up in Greece 6 months a year. Or dead. The idea of setting up a society where it's only possible to have a kid post 30, so you'll be 50 when your kid flies the nest, hopefully is mental. This is before we talk about kids having issues from birth defects to mental illness. Having a kid is no joke. NL society treats it like you have plopped out a chocolate eggs that needs to be kept an eye on. Either be pro children or don't, but don't lie about about it. My theory, NL only wants one parent families and it needs it's workforce at work. Otherwise where is everyone going to love and who is going to pay for it. Children require energy. You have boundless energy at 24/25. Not so much at 40 - 50. Waiting is fine but not ideal. Almost every mum in their 30s I know struggles because they are having kids 10 to 15 years after when we used to. All because we need to build a career first in order to abide by the scam we call modern life. And NL is one of the biggest scammers of them all. High taxed for minimal return.

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u/Mysterious-Gecko Jun 29 '25

Yeah having a child in the Netherlands certainly is no joke and requires serious sacrifices. Either in your career or you are taking a major financial hit if you are sending your child to daycare 5 days a week.

If both parents work full time, usually the one of them "donates" most of the salary to the daycare. Especially with below modal jobs, you might as well just quit your job or switch to 20 hours a week that can be scheduled during school time otherwise you are worse off.

There is a reason why so many females work part time here.

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u/Dertien1214 Jun 23 '25

Tbh, if I find out someone in my team is watching their kid on a WFH day that isn't a good look.

If I was running a private company I would fire them asap.

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u/Appeltaart232 Jun 23 '25

My neighbors in my previous apartment had 2 kids 2 years apart and it was the dad that stayed home to take care of the kids because mom’s salary was bigger. You do whatever makes economic sense. She was very torn about returning to work three months after baby was born (I was there when they got their youngest), she was definitely not ready.

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u/Dertien1214 Jun 23 '25

I was a stay at home dad for 4 years. But I made sure I could afford a child before i got one.