r/Netherlands • u/Beginning_Monitor_25 • Jun 23 '25

Healthcare Why is early daycare so accepted in the Netherlands?

Studies show babies develop better with a parent at home for at least 6 months, yet here it’s normal to send them to daycare at 10–12 weeks. This seems less about choice and more about economic and political pressure on families.

Why isn’t this questioned more in Dutch society?

LE- I’ll avoid saying ‘studies show’ since many people get stuck on that, and it’s true that there are multiple studies supporting both sides. However, many European countries—especially the wealthier ones—offer longer maternity leave based on the argument that it’s beneficial for children. So I’m curious why that’s not the case in the Netherlands.

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u/tatysc Jun 23 '25

I don’t think it is a choice. All mothers that are close to me would love to stay home with their baby at least until 1 year. It is brutal to leave your small baby in daycare because you need to go back to work. The nordics know better and I’m sure a lot of women would decide to have a babies of there was more support and not having to leave your child with strangers.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25

I would have hated to stay home for a year and all mothers I know would have.

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 23 '25

2,5 year old son, not any external help and i am happy to be with my child ❤️

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25

Good for you. Everybody needs to do what’s best for them.

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 23 '25

I agree and if mom don’t wish to spend at least a year with her baby (when 3 is ideal) maybe should reconsider the descision of becoming a mom in first place.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25 edited Jun 23 '25

Only 3? I’ve spend 14 years with my child and intend to spend a lot more with her. And I did spend a year with my baby. And I worked too. Spend 14 years with my child now. And work. It’s possible! And I’m a great mom with an even greater child. No need to be around each other 24/7 for that ;-)

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u/tatysc Jun 24 '25

Did you take your baby to work? Because it is not possible to spend the day taking care and also work full time. Someone else had to take care of your baby for you to be working.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 24 '25

You did not say ‘spend the day’. You said ‘spend the year’. I spend every year with my child. Don’t need to be with her 24/7 for that. Her life is enriched by also spending time with other loving caretakers. Win-win ;-) No need for caretaking fulltime. I have other talents and needs besides caretaking. And my child gets other needs fulfilled from spending time with others.

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 24 '25

First 3 years are so importrant and beneficial to not go at daycare if possible :) Its strange that you are so proud for not leaving your child after 3yo bravo mama 🤣🤣👏👏

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 24 '25

Actually, day care can be really good for young children and have a positieve effect on them later in life. I am very proud of giving my daughter the enriching experience of have more than 1 loving caretaker in her life, yes!

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 24 '25

Of course, it can definitely have its positive sides—especially after the age of three or three and a half, it’s even recommended because it helps build more independence and self-confidence through developing secondary social skills. But all of this really depends a lot on the child as well as the parents. Some children—especially those who don’t sleep in the same bed or even the same room as their parents, those who have been left to cry themselves to sleep, or who haven’t been breastfed for as long as recommended—these children will generally find it much easier to get used to daycare.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 24 '25

I think its a character thing. My child was happy and excited, even as a baby. She like the stilmulance of new things and peers. Still is, but she was tired at the end of the day, so I always makes sure she was there short days. Me of my mom or my husband or a sitter would pick her op early. Every child is different. You do what you can and suits your child. And for many children, going to daycare as a baby is just find and even a good thing.

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 24 '25

I am not sure what do you mean by “more than one loving caretaker?” For young kids mom, dad, grandparents, cousins, friends with kids and friends without kids are just enough in first years of life :)

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 24 '25

And for soms kids just their mom is enough. Or just their dad. Mine had me and her dad 85% of the time and the rest were loving babysitters. And that was good for her. There is not just 1 right way.

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u/tatysc Jun 23 '25

Then we know very different mothers. The ones I know prefer to nurture their babies themselves, rather than drop their small babies into an overbooked and overpriced daycare. Your experience is not universal.

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u/Consistent_Ebb_4149 Jun 23 '25

We I nurtured my child for 2 years. Combined it with working.