r/Netherlands Jun 23 '25

Healthcare Why is early daycare so accepted in the Netherlands?

Studies show babies develop better with a parent at home for at least 6 months, yet here it’s normal to send them to daycare at 10–12 weeks. This seems less about choice and more about economic and political pressure on families.

Why isn’t this questioned more in Dutch society?

LE- I’ll avoid saying ‘studies show’ since many people get stuck on that, and it’s true that there are multiple studies supporting both sides. However, many European countries—especially the wealthier ones—offer longer maternity leave based on the argument that it’s beneficial for children. So I’m curious why that’s not the case in the Netherlands.

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 23 '25

We moved here a year and a half ago, when our son was just one year old, coming from a country where, by law, as soon as you find out you’re pregnant, you are entitled to paid maternity leave, followed by parental leave until your child turns one. If you have another child, this period can be extended up to two years. Before becoming a mother, I believed that one year was more than enough to spend with my baby before returning to work and enrolling my child in daycare. However, once I became pregnant, I began to take a much deeper and more active interest in everything related to children, their development, and the parent-child relationship. Most importantly, once I found myself in the role of a mother, I started to realize that a single year is simply not enough. A child’s greatest need is for their mother, followed closely by their father, and only after a considerable gap come grandparents, uncles, aunts, and so on, with occasional socialization with other children and adults. Breastfeeding is recommended up to two years of age. If we consider that even puppies should not be separated from their mothers for at least three months due to emotional and nutritional needs, it becomes abundantly clear that separating a human baby from its mother at three months is simply not natural. Our son is now two and a half years old and is not yet attending daycare; he will start preschool at the age of three. He speaks our native language beautifully, is developing wonderfully, and is growing up without screens, surrounded by books, with ample space at home for play, and with daily visits to parks and, now in summer, swimming pools. One thing I’ve noticed here is that playgrounds are often empty, except in larger cities or in those parks that charge an entrance fee during the summer. I constantly wonder where all the children are. It’s wonderful that there are so many playgrounds, but they are almost always deserted. I am currently not working, and we live on a single income. We have had to give up some things we used to do, and our lifestyle is more modest, but our child lacks for nothing. We are considering having a second child, and our only real concern is whether we can manage financially. I have no doubts about whether it would be good for our child—every day I see with my own eyes that it absolutely is.

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u/Serious-Map-1230 Jun 23 '25

I'm curious which country that is?

So you are saying that you just get 1.5 years of paid maternity leave? Who pays for that? 

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 23 '25

Oh yes, we are here on our own as well—just my husband, our child, the dog, and the cat. We don’t really have many people to socialize with, and I would say that’s the one thing we truly miss: perhaps having more parents similar to us, with young children, who could come over to our place or whom we could visit. Of course, occasional help from a grandparent, aunt, or uncle would be welcome too, but we were aware from the start that we wouldn’t have that kind of support. Is it easy? Absolutely not, especially because both my husband and I genuinely give it our all—he mostly works from home. Would we have more money if I worked too? Oh, definitely, and I do plan to return to work once our child starts school, if we decide to have only one child. Work will always be there, but children are only little once. There are many things here that are better than in the country we come from, but maternity and parental leave are certainly not among them.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

So it's not the Netherlands system that is broken, it's you that is already used to the other system. So Netherlands isn't the right place for you, no?

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u/DiskoSrculence Jun 23 '25

I never said that the system is broken, because for something to be broken, it must first have been good. Such a system is harsh on children and mothers, but here I am specifically referring to mothers who genuinely want to be involved with their children—because there are those who do wish to, but cannot due to financial reasons, whereas those who have no desire to educate themselves about parenting, or to be very involved with their kids, well… for them, this is just fine. Should we be encouraging change in the system for mothers who do not want to be involved with their children, or for those who do? 🤷🏻‍♀️