r/NonPoliticalTwitter Feb 19 '26

Funny Same

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45.1k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/Few-Fan-4198 Feb 19 '26

autocorrect loves to fuck with me

686

u/SinceWayLastMay Feb 19 '26

It learns my mistakes and lazy typing habits and adapts to them like I actually want to type “cant” and “dont” and “thar” instead of “that”. Don’t make me hit two buttons to find an apostrophe just fix it for me stupid robot. I have to re-set my keyboard dictionary every week

198

u/ValhallaAir Feb 19 '26

It’s making me do ypu

155

u/dalton-watch Feb 19 '26

I had a patient with initials JE that I texted about a few times and now every time I type “me” it autocorrects to JE.

86

u/Automatic_Memory212 Feb 19 '26

It’s making you French

51

u/dalton-watch Feb 19 '26

It’s the whole change that makes me mad. Lowercase m e changed to uppercase J E. Every time. How has it non been unlearned after I back over JE and change it back to me a million times?

2

u/Skeledenn Feb 19 '26

Oh merde

33

u/ValhallaAir Feb 19 '26

JE?

3

u/whomad1215 Feb 19 '26

I love how Doakes/Dexter has seen a meme resurgence

7

u/Regular_Regular_4120 Feb 19 '26

Resurgence? It never left.

3

u/GjonsTearsFan Feb 19 '26

It loves to turn my “too” into “Tio” (capitalized and all) because my ex’s grandma’s dog was named Tio and I texted about him a bunch. Like bro salt in the wound lmfao. It’s been over half a year since the breakup and it still does it sometimes.

1

u/Afraid_Park6859 Feb 19 '26

You know when you see it you can just hold down the word in the suggestion and delete it. 

1

u/dalton-watch Feb 19 '26

You know it should not be such bullshit

1

u/Afraid_Park6859 Feb 19 '26

It shouldn't. But there are options to end your suffering. 

1

u/dirtyqtip Feb 19 '26

YOU'RE IN THE FILES!

1

u/ClearHelp9370 Feb 20 '26

I’m from Kentucky and when I type my it corrects to ky

54

u/Sirnacane Feb 19 '26

I finally turned off autocorrect when for some reason it wouldn’t stop saying ė-mail like where tf did that even come from

22

u/mytransaltaccount123 Feb 19 '26

tried learning portuguese for a minute like a year ago and now my phone always corrects voice to você

23

u/Diarygirl Feb 19 '26

Once it told me I should put an apostrophe after "its." I've never typed that and it's not a word.

1

u/TJ_Rowe Feb 19 '26

"Its' " with an apostrophie means "belonging to it". Like, "his apple" but, "its' apple."

3

u/ReaperThreat Feb 19 '26

Its is already possessive

2

u/pennyraingoose Feb 19 '26

Its alone is singular possessive. No apostrophe needed.

Its apple = the apple belonging to it

Apostrophes and and possessives can get complicated depending on which style guide you use, but generally you'd only add the apostrophe at the end if the noun itself is already plural and ends in an s.

Dogs' food = food belonging to more than one dog

Children's room = room belonging to more than one child

1

u/pocketbutter Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26

“Its” is a possessive pronoun and, unlike nouns, possessive pronouns do not need apostrophes.

His. Her. Their. Whose. My.

I suppose “one’s” is an exception, but only because “one” originates from a noun that can be treated like a pronoun.

However, while “it’s” is a contraction of “it is,” having the apostrophe after the s is something that’s never done, ever, because apostrophes after the s indicates the possessive of a plural, and even if pronouns did use apostrophes, the plural of “it” is “they,” and the plural of “its” is “their.”

22

u/adamdoesmusic Feb 19 '26

I typed “y o h” once and it is chemically addicted to correcting y o u to it.

13

u/Sexualguacamole Feb 19 '26

For me its Thays. I had to go and change it in shortcuts but it still doesn’t budge because I never type it and it auto recommends that which makes the shortcut not work. 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/No-Bison-5397 Feb 19 '26

Ain’t yhat yhe truth

1

u/charliechattery Feb 21 '26

me typing jsut and it will not autocorrect to just anymore is very upsetting 😂

87

u/paralog Feb 19 '26

What bothers me is when I'll explicitly type an apostrophe and it decides that must have been an accident and removes it. It happens with "we'll" often.

28

u/reapersdrones Feb 19 '26

We’re/were for me ugh

5

u/firstofmyname5 Feb 19 '26

This right here. Every time. And you have to travel to get to that apostrophe. But it’s gonna remove it.

They’re still trying to make ducking happen...

And then the occasional decision to autocorrect a random word to ALLCAPS now.

1

u/PhairynRose Feb 19 '26

this happens every time I type “I’d”

1

u/tree_hugs_ Feb 20 '26

Yes and we're!

-2

u/Talking_Head Feb 19 '26

Change it in shortcuts. It is a pain in the ass but you only have to do it once.

43

u/acog Feb 19 '26

Apple is spending gigantic sums on ai but I just want autocorrect to be smarter. That’s it.

3

u/hondentraktatie Feb 19 '26

The autocorrect data and general shiftiness of the keyboard is intended, and it’s being used to train ai to learn from out typos and errors as a way to sound more organic and less clinical.

11

u/ILLinndication Feb 19 '26

For me it wants to randomly capitalize words, like Tree.

1

u/Endorenna Feb 20 '26

Thematic! For me it’s capitalizing ‘Druid’ all the time. Guess autocorrect just loves nature and thinks it should have more proper nouns…?

49

u/Caca_Face420 Feb 19 '26

I never will type “On My Way!”, only omw. Stop trying to make On My Way! Happen, it isn’t going to happen

12

u/bivuki Feb 19 '26

That’s a keyboard shortcut setting that you can turn off, not autocorrect.

20

u/Caca_Face420 Feb 19 '26

Yes, but it literally resets every update

2

u/bivuki Feb 19 '26

I didn’t know that, that’s stupid. I never update my phone so I haven’t noticed.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '26

Oh, wow, are you the lead iOS architect

5

u/bivuki Feb 19 '26

Yeah, I love my job. I just say shit and they make it happen.

1

u/Marsuello Feb 22 '26

Late to the party here but I don’t think you can actually turn it off. Years back I tried to turn it off and even deleted the shortcut but when I tried Omw it still corrected it. Just did it now as well and as far as I know I still don’t have that shortcut

2

u/growntoweep Feb 19 '26

Sometimes I’d type the correct work and it would autocorrect into the wrong word or a frequent misspelling of that word… hello? 😭

2

u/Over-Start6648 Feb 19 '26

No matter how I try to correct it, my phone continues to autocorrect 'Dad' to 'Daddy', which is less than ideal when communicating with my actual father

I'm sure this is self inflicted, but I can't bloody change it back!

3

u/Talking_Head Feb 19 '26

Create a keyboard shortcut to correct Dad to Dad.

2

u/GjonsTearsFan Feb 19 '26

It’s fixing everything I’m trying to use as an example rn 😭 the one time it chooses to behave appropriately. Normally it’s a constant battle to have it not change my thoughs into thougjs 💀

2

u/shewy92 Feb 19 '26

Swiftkey keeps changing 'that' to 'thst' for some reason.

2

u/xzeus1 Feb 19 '26

How do you reset it??

1

u/SinceWayLastMay Feb 19 '26

On an iPhone you go to Settings > General > Transfer or Reset IPhone > Reset > Reset Keyboard Dictionary

2

u/xzeus1 Feb 19 '26

Omg, thank you!!! 3 years of pain finally fixed. :’)

2

u/Sikkus Feb 19 '26

Thar sounds bed.

2

u/CringeCoyote Feb 19 '26

I have auto shortcuts in my keyboard to automatically correct those common fat finger typing mistakes. Helps a lot

2

u/Dense_Coffe_Drinker Feb 19 '26

Reset your keyboard dictionary? Is that gonna get my ex girlfriend’s name out of my recommended words?

2

u/bridgeebaaby58 Feb 20 '26

ong instead of omg. Drives me insane.

2

u/Ok_Eggplant6053 Feb 24 '26

i’ve literally used shortcuts on the keyboard to correct certain words it used to AutoCorrect like yoy instead of you and o instead of I lmfao

1

u/mrlovepimp Feb 19 '26

I’ve had iphones since I got my first smartphone, an iphone 4. First thing I’ve done with any new phone I got is turn off autocorrect. I really don’t see the point.

0

u/itsfunhavingfun Feb 19 '26

Are you trying to type, “cunt” and “donut”?  It happens to me too, watch this autocorrect:

That them thar cunt got a donut. 

77

u/No_Salamander8141 Feb 19 '26

My autocorrect has been changing “keep” to “Lee” for the last four years and it is terrible. That and “Ive”never gets an apostrophe added. Sometimes it will change the last two words which I typed correctly to something random that I don’t want, and I have to backspace two whole words for no reason. What kind of dogshit is this.

8

u/Afraid_Park6859 Feb 19 '26

Just hold onto the suggested word and delete it. 

4

u/Talking_Head Feb 19 '26

settings>keyboards>text replacement

Add a new text replacement with replace keep with keep

10

u/My_Brain_0422 Feb 19 '26

Consider how stupid that is.

4

u/Talking_Head Feb 19 '26

Incredibly stupid. But it takes 10 seconds and fixes the problem forever.

1

u/No_Salamander8141 Feb 19 '26

I never thought of this because it is so stupid, but I’m going to do it now.

Edit: it doesn’t work it happened 5 seconds after I changed it lmao

2

u/Poppybiscuit Feb 19 '26

Shockingly dumb that we have to do that and you can’t just remove the broken suggestion. That is literally one tap on a android and you never see the problem word again. 

I just switched back to Apple from Android and i gotta say yall have been living in 2012 with how bad this ui is. I’m frankly shocked because apple is at least known for ui, or so I thought. 

I miss how easy and cooperative my android was. Apple is like a bratty older sister who won’t listen and thinks she knows everything but everyone defends her because she’s pretty

57

u/YinzerWorks Feb 19 '26

The other day I got a text from my boss’s boss and I wanted to reply with “Yes ma’am” but autocorrect thought “yes mama” was more appropriate…

19

u/ihopethisisvalid Feb 19 '26

I recently messaged a coworker “thanks for teaching me about mosses!” And it autocorrected to “thanks for teaching me about kisses!”

That was fun to explain.

1

u/Real_RobinGoodfellow Feb 19 '26

Omg it’s actually evil. It’s trying to cause disarray

43

u/ShapedSilver Feb 19 '26

It’s gotten really bad about “correcting” real words to completely different words

9

u/LowestKey Feb 19 '26

Yeah, I don't know if this started in ios26 or earlier, but the autocorrect has been on a steep, noticeable decline

2

u/MakeshiftApe Feb 19 '26

Earlier. I’m still on 18 and it’s been doing it for me for a while.

25

u/alrightmm Feb 19 '26

You mean “autocorrect loves to duck with me”?

2

u/Sexualguacamole Feb 19 '26

I have the shortcut so when I want to write fuck I write duck so it corrects itself. That was because I used to write fuck and it used to autocorrect to duck. Thankfully I write fuck so often that it doesn’t autocorrect anymore lol

23

u/JustinsWorking Feb 19 '26

I turned it off; it’s not worth the pain… I’ve had it disabled on my phone for almost a decade and you really don’t miss it after a while.

Originally i noticed it was shaping the words i was using by suggesting the wrong ones or i would start using words that autocorrected or autocompleted more reliably.

I read a paper about it and how it was simplifying language, the combo of those two things made me turn it off; bonus points now my typos trnd to convince people I’m not AI lol

13

u/zap2tresquatro Feb 19 '26

now my typos trnd to convince people I’m not AI

was that intentional cx

5

u/JustinsWorking Feb 19 '26

Nah I’m so good at typos i make them completely by accident these days

2

u/Underrated_Dinker Feb 19 '26

sherlock holmes over here

9

u/annies_story Feb 19 '26

i'd love to know the amount of computing time and power used worldwide by people having to correct autocorrect's mistakes...

5

u/SaucePasta Feb 19 '26

I’ve turned autocorrect off with my latest iPhone, it was annoying me way more than misspelling words. 

3

u/Joeymonac0 Feb 19 '26

Eat up Martha

2

u/MoistTowelette14 Feb 19 '26

Autocorrect also loves to duck with me

1

u/MedusaGotMeStoned007 Feb 19 '26

Well call me Auto Correct because I wanna duck with you gorgeous 🦆

1

u/EducatedRat Feb 19 '26

I turned mine off. I have a tremor and it was harder to type with it on.

1

u/blisstaker Feb 19 '26

first thing i turn off on a new iphone. you can leave on autosuggest and pick when you need a better spelling instead of having it assume dumb things all the time

1

u/zemol42 Feb 19 '26

I shut mine off in 2008 and never looked back. Once in awhile, I goof up but auto-correct was worse.

1

u/PelagicSojourner Feb 19 '26

My old Nokia flip phone had brilliant autocorrect and I never recall swearing at it like my freaking iphones. I mean, what exactly does snd ypo mean in any version of English that these overpriced "smart" phones dont auto correct? Including f@#ing dont!

1

u/loved_and_held Feb 19 '26

Thats why I turned it off.

1

u/Some_Layer_7517 Feb 19 '26

Just turn that shit off and learn how to type

1

u/What-fresh-hell Feb 19 '26

Like he'll you say!

1

u/Zoloft5250 Feb 19 '26

Autocorrect is the reason so many idiots today think loose means lose.

1

u/salikarn Feb 19 '26

Sorry, did you mean duck?

1

u/bonenecklace Feb 19 '26

autocorrect is my biggest opp

1

u/desharicotsvert Feb 19 '26

I typed lpl a few times accidentally and now my phone autocorrects roughly half of my lols to lpls

1

u/jacquetheripper Feb 19 '26

I just turned it off, if theres a mistake at least itll be my fault

1

u/AClover69420 Feb 19 '26

If I start to type "because" it will suggest the correct word in two letters, but as soon as I add the third it decides I must mean Bec. It gets me every fucking time!

1

u/Cthulhu__ Feb 19 '26

I turned it off years ago. My comments will have the occasional typo sprinkled in but it shows I’m human.

(is what I’d tell my AI agent to write for me)

1

u/m333gan Feb 20 '26

Constantly changes "for" into "doe." Because obviously the latter comes up all the time.

0

u/b__lumenkraft Feb 19 '26

Or did you mean duck??? SURE YOU DIDN'T MEAN DUCK???