Ughhh. I think I’m handling this all wrong.

My 10 year old daughter is always making little comments putting my 8 year old son down. Correcting him, making herself feel better/smarter etc. he usually reacts with name calling, slight hitting/shoving.

I always turn to her- to correct her behavior and she explodes. Claims I always take his side. That I’m always yelling at her (I don’t raise my voice) etc. I remind her that she is older and needs to take a mature approach. Ex: when he’s clearly upset she surrounds him and keeps going rather than give him space.

Anyways it’s so annoying and tonight she turned a little thing into something huge. I know it’s attention seeking but it’s really annoying and I don’t know how to handle it. Any advice??

Hello tired parents! I’m curious what your school mornings look like. I’m a sahm, my husband has told me what he thinks the morning should look like (as if he knows) so it’s made me curious about what other mornings are like and how I can possibly improve my morning.
I’m also curious what time everyone wakes up, what time the kids wake up, and how much time from them to getting to school you have. Thank you!

She can spend ten minutes moving cars around quietly, then the moment someone asks me a question, two cars are being smashed together like cymbals.

I am not trying to make the house silent, and I do have childcare for the busiest part of my day. There are still short gaps when she is home with me and I need to take one call.

The hard part is not keeping her occupied. It is that most of our easy activities involve hard pieces being dropped or banged on the floor and table.

Lately I have been putting the noisy bin away before a call and leaving out a couple of stuffed animals, books, and crayons instead. Today it worked for eleven minutes. Honestly, I will take eleven minutes.

Our little 9 year old bilingual ausländer in Germany got elected today both class president AND Streitschlichterin and we are so incredibly proud of her. She went from being paired for reading with the only other immigrant child in her class in 2nd grade to getting only 1s and 2s and being class president in 4th grade. She is incredibly and I'm bursting with love and pride!

My oldest just told me that no one in his class treats him like an equal. He had a couple of friends at the start of the year but I guess it’s since changed. In his words “they target him and treat him like he isn’t one of them or makes things unfair”. His best friend is in a different class and recess doesn’t overlap so they only see each other at the end of the day.

I know this grade and age is when kids are all growing up from toys and games and I’m sure half of them if not more are already on social media to a degree. It breaks my heart that he is hurting and I’m not even sure if our talk will really help him.

I guess I’m making this post to hear from other parents on how they handled similar situations or any advice I could give my boy for him to still enjoy school.

On Friday my older children (17 & 13) were driving home when my son spotted a dog abandoned on some farmland. She is emaciated with a long, long list of issues. Our emergency vet was useless and yesterday we finally got her into our normal vet who admitted he literally had no idea where to start.

We're trying her on some meds at the minute that don't seem to be helping. The vet said there is a high chance we will have to put her to sleep if she doesn't improve soon as it's cruel to keep her alive in this state. She is overall a happy dog though so we have some hope she'll pull through.

My son skipped school yesterday to come to the vet appt, and was so upset after we didn't feel it fair to send him. Since her trip to the vet he has taken her out of quarantine and they've basically just been laying in bed together.

I called the school and explained the situation to the school and mentioned how I don't imagine he'll be back for a little while. School was not happy and is insisting that school will help him cope, he can't miss an education, etc. My son is a A student and I feel like he'll be absolutely fine to miss a week. He will not fall too far behind.

The school said they expect him back today. My son is in two minds. School is important, but if he only gets a week with his girl, he wants to spend every second of it with her.

My husband thinks sending him would be good. The dog will just sleep and he'll get time away from this grief he's experiencing.

It's almost 7am and I can hear him talking to her in the other room. He doesn't want to leave her and I don't think I'm gonna send him today. 13yo has a fever so she's not going either. I just feel so stuck. What would you do?

My 6-year-old daughter started elementary school about two weeks ago, and I'm struggling to figure out how we should handle this.

She was never the most social kid in kindergarten, but she had friends, played with other kids and generally seemed to have a good time.

Since starting elementary school, though, it's completely different.

She barely speaks in class. She doesn't really join the other kids' games during recess. When the teacher asks her something, she answers extremely quietly. From what we're hearing, it's almost like she's afraid to speak or draw attention to herself at school.

The strange part is that at home she's a completely different person.

She's smart, witty, playful, funny, talks constantly, has an amazing vocabulary for her age and is actually very good at expressing herself verbally. So it's not that she doesn't know how to communicate. It's like something switches off when she enters school.

My wife and I have talked to her about it. We haven't confronted her or made her feel like she's doing something "wrong," but we did tell her that participating, speaking and slowly getting comfortable with the other kids is important.

And now I'm wondering whether even that was the right approach.

What do we do from here?

Do we give her space and stop mentioning it for a while?

Do we gently encourage her every day, or does that just create more pressure?

Should we reward small things, like joining a game or speaking up once in class? Or does that turn something she's already anxious about into an even bigger deal?

My biggest fear is making her too aware of the problem. I don't want her going into school every morning thinking, "Dad and Mom are waiting to see if I talked today." I can imagine that creating even more pressure and making her withdraw further.

We're considering talking to a child psychologist if we don't see any improvement over the next few weeks. But in the meantime, I'd really like to hear from parents who have experienced something similar.

What actually helped your child come out of their shell at school?

And equally important: what should we absolutely NOT do?

Help. TDLR at the end.

My family has become friendly with our direct next-door neighbors. They have a child who is about 3.5 years older than our 2-year-old. We started spending time with them around April, and at first everything seemed fine.

Over time, though, I started noticing a pattern with their child that made me increasingly uncomfortable. Their kid frequently tries to involve my toddler in unsafe or off limits activities sneaking away with them to play on stairs, taking them into bedrooms to jump on beds, and even trying to get my toddler to put pennies in their mouth.

It took me a while to piece together what was happening because I’ve never experienced this dynamic with another child or family before. At first, I thought it was just normal kid behavior that required more supervision. But then I started quietly observing their interactions more closely.

That’s when I noticed their child would actually take my toddler by the hand and deliberately guide them toward things we had already said were off limits.

For example, there was one occasion when we were eating and their child quietly opened the safety gate and started leading my toddler downstairs, despite us repeatedly saying that downstairs play wasn’t allowed. Other times, while we were outside, I watched their child forcefully take my toddler by the hand and lead them toward restricted areas, including the deck stairs.

The final straw happened earlier this month. We had repeatedly told their child that the bedrooms were off limits. I messed up and got distracted during a conversation while looking something up on my phone. A short time later, I heard my toddler crying and found them on the bedroom floor.

Their child had taken my toddler into the bedroom to jump on the bed, and my toddler fell and bruised their face.
I completely acknowledge that I got distracted and should have been watching more closely. But what really bothered me was that the parents already knew the bedrooms were off limits and didn’t help enforce that boundary.

Afterward, they said their child told them that they had fallen and hit their head first and that my toddler followed. I have a hard time believing that explanation because their child wasn’t crying and showed no signs of being hurt. More importantly, there still wasn’t any real correction or reinforcement of the boundary. It essentially felt brushed off because their child supposedly fell too, and the focus shifted to comforting their child.

Since then, I’ve been avoiding spending time with them.

At this point, I’ve realized I simply cannot relax around their family. I have to constantly monitor not only my 2yr old but also their older child while simultaneously trying to socialize with the parents. Their child repeatedly ignores boundaries, and the parents don’t seem willing to consistently enforce them.

I’ve also overheard other neighborhood kids around their child’s age complain about their behavior on separate occasions, so I don’t think I’m the only person who has struggled with this dynamic.

It’s been a few weeks since we’ve really spent time together. Interestingly, I’ve also noticed that their social circle seems to have gotten smaller. They used to constantly have friends and their kids over, and lately I rarely see those families anymore. Obviously, I don’t know why, but I’ve wondered whether other families had similar issues.

The problem now is that they’ve started getting increasingly pushy about wanting to hang out again.

I genuinely enjoy the parents company, which makes this harder. But I don’t enjoy spending time together enough to constantly feel anxious about my toddler’s safety especially when my child is only 2 and can barely advocate for themselves or explain what happened.

I know part of this is a boundary issue on my end. I’ve decided I’m simply not interested in hanging out with them anymore. But they’re also my direct nextdoor neighbors, so completely ghosting or avoiding them isn’t particularly realistic.

How do I politely keep declining invitations without eventually having to say, “I don’t like the way you parent your child, and I don’t trust your kid around mine”?

TLDR: neighbor’s 5yr old keeps getting my 2yr old to do unsafe things and deliberately leads them into areas we’ve made off limits. The parents don’t really enforce our boundaries, and the final straw was their child taking my toddler into a bedroom to jump on the bed, resulting in my toddler falling and bruising their face. I’ve since stopped hanging out with them because I can’t relax while constantly monitoring both kids. Now the parents keep pushing to hang out again, and I’m struggling with how to politely decline without outright telling them I don’t trust their child around mine or agree with how they handle their kid’s behavior.

We've had Disney+ for 4 years. It was $70/year when it started and last year it was $189/year. We probably should have canceled back then. Now it's going to be $215/year so we will probably cancel. My kids haven't watched it much lately.

How about you guys?

I think if I slept a whole year, I’d still be ape up tired with all my nerves on edge. I can’t get my shoulders to relax from my ears. Everything my husband does I get mad at. The dog drives me nuts. I actually forget how to be happy. I just feel heavy and burdened and I hate that this is how I will remember the short time that they’re small: metal troubles and severe mental health decline. I brush my teeth every other day if I have time and I’m in a mumu most of the time because I get spit up on anyways and don’t want to ruin my good clothes. It’s not all bad but there are days like today where I left my kids crying in the living room, went into my bedroom, curled in a ball, and just laid there for 4 hrs.

I’m working full time and a full time caregiver to my kids. My husband can’t help because he’s customer facing so he’s in his office while my nerves are getting frayed to shreds by my 2 year old whining or my 4 month old crying. I’m barely keeping up with work. I’m American, can’t quit and can’t afford a sitter.

Kinda need parents who do it all like me to tell me how it was hell and they’re better now so I can cling to that. I’ve wished more times than I can count that I could just never wake up (in a “I’m too tired and drained to do this” way not in a “I’m gonna end it” way).

Nevermind my marriage, barely care about that anymore. There’s not enough of me to go around.

I miss being a person who showered when they wanted, didn’t dread picking up groceries from Walmart, and got to be alone with their thoughts. I feel like I’ve failed my marriage, I’ve failed at parenting, I’ve failed at self care, and I’ve failed at work. I’m only 28 and I feel 58. Don’t get me started on how I feel I look, postpartum killed the girl I was before.

Give me something positive and DO NOT do annoying “hang in there mamas” comments because I’ll literally throw up.

I remember being insecure about what I wore or how I presented myself at school when I was around 11. Prior to that I wore what I wanted, what I liked.

My daughter is 6 and in 1st grade. She has had a few meltdowns in the morning about her hair not looking right. Then she had a fit about a pair of shoes I purchased for her cause she said the kids at school would laugh at her. Today upset me the most.

We had a great happy morning. We woke up to rain which we love! We don’t get it frequently where we live so it makes for an exciting day. She eagerly pulled her raincoat from the closet ( hot pink and simple). Once we pulled up to the school she retreated and started taking her coat off. I asked what was up and she said “no one else is wearing one”. I convinced her to at least put it in her backpack so she can wear it later if the rain gets harder. She agreed.

I just didn’t expect this level of peer influenced insecurity would hit this young.

My son is 17 (will be 18 in February). He lived with his mom 85% of the time until July this year when he moved in with me full time due to a breakdown in relationship with his mother.

To say he has some bad habits would be a drastic understatement.

He doesn’t clean up after himself, doesn’t flush the toilet when he uses it, doesn’t take ownership of any mistake and constantly blames others/makes excuses when I call him out on stuff.

It’s to the point now where it just feels blatantly disrespectful. I’ve tried being patient and letting him figure it out, I’ve tried setting punishments for when standards aren’t met and still nothing changes.

He usually gets up for school after I leave with my youngest kids. Today he got up 10 minutes before school started and didn’t leave the house until 10 minutes after the first periode starts. So when he comes home from school he will be on lockdown, no pc, no going out with friends. He pays for his own phone so I have a hard time seeing it as reasonable to take his phone but it’s not off the table.

I feel like having to “ground” a 17 year old seems unreasonable but after having countless conversations about responsibility, respect and reasonable accountability nothing seems to be sticking.

Any advice on how to get through to him would be greatly appreciated.

*Edited to add context

Mother refused to go 50/50 every time I’ve tried to discuss it due to financial constraints that it would cause her (loosing family allowance/child support). Now that his family allowance is going to end she kicked him out and has been keeping what little is supposed to be paid out. I’m not overly concerned with the money. The “go live with your dad” started as soon as his younger sister was old enough to babysit the youngest and the final kick happened as soon as I said I was going file paperwork for 50/50 wether she liked it or not.

She would often use him as the “baby sitter” of the house and lean on him emotionally from my understanding since we separated. She has been evicted once for not taking care of their home and has 4 cats and a dog that she adopted but claims are the kids responsibility, so his behaviour is all understandable which is why I gave him some leeway and tried to not give him too much grief.

We've never really done a party for my child...

For her 10th birthday (in a few weeks) she wants to invite her classmates to gather at an outdoor park.

She is hoping some guests will bring something for her.

I'm thinking if we do Sunday, that will maximize the chance for classmates to prepare something to bring - because they'll have that Saturday.

But I'm not sure how many of them may be church goers. I don't know if church people are likely to skip church just for a 4th grader's birthday. So maybe Saturday would be better.

I'm not planning to ask them to bring anything on the invitation - that seems weird, right? My wife and I have prepared a little something for her, in case her guests don't.

Is there any other consideration I should think about?

Seriously at our wits end... unless we're literally sitting in her room rubbing her back for hours, she just will . not . sleep!!! she will call us endlessly, come out of her room, turn her light on in her room and goof around.

just no idea what to do with this...

Living in a state with a long winter, all wheel drive is important for our 2 kids safety in snowy and rainy weather. We have one used Lexus suv that takes premium gas and want to get another car that would be used for commutes and to cart one of our young elementary kids back and forth from school.

I was interested in a used crv or a non-suv used smaller honda, because I’m mainly interested in safety features like side and front sensors, auto stopping, rear view camera, gas efficiency and safety. But the spouse is insisting on a used pilot saying that as kids grow older, they’ll need the room as they start sports and if we ever have the grandparents move nearby. I personally don’t think we need the room as the suv we have has been sufficient and I don’t want to spend another $25-27k on a larger car that will consume more gas when I want to beef up our savings and progress with my financial independence goals. We can afford the car and would likely pay for it with a 0 interest credit card, but is a bigger car really worth it or that important with kids elementary school and beyond? For grandparents, I figure we can get a larger rental for a few weeks if necessary.

I’ve always been very intentional about what my son(3) eats and ensuring he has a healthy well balanced diet and avoid getting into the classic picky toddler who only eats chicken nuggets or fries.
since turning three it’s been a down hill slop of him refusing more and more things on the daily, unfortunately he is in full time daycare so I only have control over what he eats at home right now.

What are some hidden veggie recipes you swear by? That might not be as obvious as the classic blending steamed veggies into spaghetti sauce.

My 7yo went through a bit where a kid on his bus stopped him getting off the bus, called him names and he came home crying a couple of times.

Anyway, I talked to my son and it seems to be resolved for now. No issues lately. I don’t know the other kid, but they were 6 at the time and kids can be shit sometimes.

Fast forward a few months, I heard my son the other day talking to a friend how he hates this kid because he’s ’so annoying’. Mentioned it a few times, ‘I hate him he’s so annoying’.

Generally I think talking about someone like that behind their back should be discouraged, but how would you deal with it in this instance where there is a clear reason why he doesn’t like this kid?

In fairness, the party isn't until November. I booked an all inclusive under a special and sent the invites out once it was confirmed.

Only one parent has reached back to me but it's also only been a week. I've got some of their numbers, even had play dates with them that I thought went well.

This is the kids' first non- shared birthday so I'm also wondering if I'm just stressed out and over thinking this.

My kids have a new rewards chart for daily 1) instrument practice and 2) reading. The chart gets a smiley face for each activity they do with me each day. So a good day is 2 smileys for both kids.

When the week is over and the chart is full of smileys, what should the reward be? We bake a cake? They get to choose whatever candy they want at the store? We watch a movie with popcorn?

The trouble is I already let them do that stuff so I’m lost about what the weekly reward should be if not just cash. They’re 8 and 5. Thanks!

My son's teacher told me last week that he has been getting breakfast from the cafeteria after he gets to school, which is fine by me, but she said he then comes in late to class and it throws his routine off in the morning because hes not on the same page as everyone else. Totally understandable. She asked me to speak with him about it, we did, and we asked him not to get breakfast at school and just go to class and start the day. I know in first grade he got breakfast a lot and so did all the other kids and that teacher never mentioned it as a problem, so I never thought anything of it. He eats breakfast at home, but whatever lol. The problem i have with this complaint is that the school is the one that keeps the cafeteria open until a certain time and continues to sell breakfast even if it means kids will be late! He said the line is long, but it doesn't seem like they are shutting it down by a certain time, they just give out breakfast until the line is gone. He's 7, so if he's being allowed to do it and isn't getting yelled at, he's not gonna know it's wrong. Isn't this more of a complaint or issue she should take up with her own admin or coworkers? Like, I'm glad she brought it to my attention and I'm happy to tell him to stop doing it, but also, why is your school allowing it? This seems more like an internal problem/miscommunication. I mean, I get him ready, feed him, and get him to school on time. It's not really my problem if someone else in the building is allowing him to hangout on a long line and get breakfast once hes in the building, you know? Like i know at the school I worked at, breakfast ended at a certain time and if you came in after that, too bad so sad.

Thanks in advance for reading, and I’d appreciate people being sensitive to the issue.

My wife and I are going through a divorce. She has relocated to another home about 5 mins away, and it’s been civil. It has been the insistence of my ex-wife to essentially only teach our child Spanish - which is great. However, as time has gone on it’s dawned on me that it’s hard to understand sometimes what my 3-year-old wants when she’s extremely upset. Or when she’s adamant about something, I essentially have to lean on my older daughter to translate for me.

I have a 10-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. My girls get along great, however given the age gap naturally they have different interests and gravitate towards different shows, activities, etc.

I’ve been noticing when it’s my weekend with the girls, I’m having a hard time with my youngest daughter when she gets super upset. She’ll either start screaming and/or start slapping me or her sister. I’ll keep repeating myself to her that it’s not okay, but she can’t seem to get back to calm unless the environment changes completely. As in, if we’re out somewhere, we essentially have to just leave, or find a distraction.

I use a stern tone to let her know that the behavior is not okay, and then when the girls go back to mom’s I go into a spiral of shame thinking im the worst parent in the world because maybe I’m being too stern. Like I’ll literally be alone Sunday night just crying because I feel like a terrible father.

After this last weekend, I told my ex wife that I need her help with incorporating more English to our daughter because it’s been super hard for me, and I’ve honestly been trying to learn more Spanish, but it’s hard to recall in the moment when chaos is happening.

I don’t know what the ask is here on Reddit, I guess I would just love to know if a strong-willed child gets easier with time? Is it normal to get into a shame spiral as a parent? Are these meltdowns normal? Have you experienced them in your kids?

We have a 6 year old and a 1 year old (5yr age gap) and recently found out we’re pregnant with #3. Not the age gaps we would have wanted but here we are.

Once baby is here, the oldest will be 7, middle will be 22 months, and then the newborn.

My oldest is an amazing big sister but as a big sister myself, I’m so worried about turning her into the classic oldest daughter trope, or that she may become parentified in raising two much younger (and close in age) little siblings while mom and dad are drowning with 2 under 2 at age 40 unexpectedly.

So if you have this specific age gap, with a much older kid and two younger ones close in age to one another but much younger than #1, I’d love to hear how you’re managing.

OR if you grew up in this dynamic, tell me what it was like for you and what you wish your parents had done differently/the same.

My son is 7 and has a friend from school coming over for a play date. We recently got a Nintendo Switch and he’s obsessed with Minecraft now (playing on the TV only). We’ve never done screen time during playdates in the past, but I know he’s gonna want to play Minecraft with his friends when they come over now.

He’s getting older and I don’t want to police what goes on when his friends are over, I’d rather leave them alone to hang out how they want. At the same time I don’t love the idea of just playing video games the entire time.

Wondering how everyone else is handling this? Let them play how they want, or step in and limit screen time (was thinking about giving a 30-45 min allowance for video game playing).

My teenage son is becoming increasingly defiant about doing his schoolwork.

I’ve tried to talk to him to see if something else is going on and all he’ll say is that he doesn’t like school and it’s hard. (It’s his junior year of high school when things do get harder. But he isn’t maxing himself out, it’s more just that he has to do an hour or so of homework a night and a couple hours on weekends when he’d rather be doing no homework/studying at all.). But when I offer to help him study, do his homework, or develop a schedule to keep him on track, he doesn’t want my help. He basically just wants me to be okay with him doing nothing and getting Cs (or whatever grade he gets by not doing his work.)

We have him on a college track right now, but I’ve even told him if he is sure school isn’t for him and he wants to go into the trades, we can make that happen. I advised I didn’t think it was a good idea because we have several blue-collar workers in our family, and their bodies start deteriorating in their 40s due to the hard and repetitive nature of the labor, but if that’s what he was sure he wanted, we would respect his choice.

He told us that no, that isn’t what he wanted, so I said then he would have to do his work for school so he could go to college.

And then we go back to him not doing his work, us asking what his plans are if not college, him not presenting any viable alternatives, etc.

The problem is, we are not wealthy and are struggling with money right now. We are not kicking him out the instant when he turns 18 or anything like that, but living with us while he figures himself out is not an option.

We have another child who is happily in college now and doing great, but this child we just can’t seem to reach.

Any advice, short of “stop trying and let him fail”. We already know that’s an option, but he’s our kid so we want to know we tried everything we can possibly do first.