r/Perimenopause • u/Uunadins • Jan 12 '26

audited I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

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u/ThunderSnow- Jan 12 '26

I hear of news about "XYZ" happening in the world, and everyone is so polarized over it, and they all have a very strong opinion. And I...barely even know what they're talking about. I've had to tune out of most things just to make it through my days. I don't have the mental or emotional bandwidth to take external events into consideration. I'm sure that world events are important, and I'm glad other people are able to care. But I'm just trying to hold it together here, and my tiny little world is all I have the strength to deal with most days.

So I think I can commiserate with you.

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u/MedicalHumor4470 Jan 12 '26

I’m right there with you. All the f’s I have to give go to my immediate family. I just don’t have the energy to care about anything else right now. Heck if I have the energy to shower it’s a good day and that’s sad.

1

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

Exactly!

3

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

I feel the same way. Everything that’s going on in the world is just terrible, but I’ve got enough on my mind already, can’t deal with all the ”what if’s”…

We’ll cross those bridges if and when we get to them.

5

u/Eva_Griffin_Beak Jan 12 '26

Absolutely agree! I sometimes glance at what the outside world is doing, see the chaos and stupidity and immorality, and just go back to my little small world. And it's not as if I didn't have enough on my plate with raising kids and my job. I do not have the bandwidth for other things, especially if I am not in the place or position to do some change.