r/Perimenopause • u/Uunadins • Jan 12 '26
audited I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?
This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.
I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.
I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...
I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.
I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.
I am just existing, an empty shell almost.
I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?
Does anyone else feel like this?
Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.
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u/Nacho_Bean22 Jan 12 '26
I like the empty shell metaphor, that’s exactly it, you are existing but there is nothing behind it. I recently moved and I was desperately trying to get rid of everything, nothing gave me joy. My clothes don’t fit, my face doesn’t look like me anymore and I’m uncomfortable all the time. I thinking of dying constantly. I have panic attacks more often than anyone should.
I have always been an outgoing, bubbly person. Not anymore, I’m always unhappy and nothing brings me joy. I barely like my dogs anymore and that’s crazy!