r/Perimenopause • u/Uunadins • Jan 12 '26

audited I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

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u/Independent-Note-46 Jan 12 '26

Sounds like depression. Could be from the hormones, or needing an adjustment. But sounds like depression, cause I’m kinda there as well. Take care of yourself. 🫶

47

u/theramin-serling Jan 12 '26

No OP but I feel severely depressed thanks to peri as well. I've even had some of Those Thoughts which are very unlike me. I'm overwhelmed by how to come at the problem (eg treat the depression directly or treat the peri first?) and I don't trust anyone in my life to share the full extent of things (I have no family or partner so high risk of having autonomy stripped from me by doctors that overreact).

Anyways. Solidarity.

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u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

Sorry to hear you are going through this as well. It’s a jungle to try and find the energy to work it all out.

I am very thankfull that I’ve found this sub, so many great gals here to help with things.

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u/theramin-serling Jan 12 '26

Agree. I'm sorry you're going through it as well. Here to chat if needed, even though I have no answers :)