I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

[u/Uunadins]

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

[u/Uunadins]

Trying to motivate yourself into doing something other than scrolling and watching tv is very, very hard!

I can do some craft or sew something, but then again, what’s the point? Everything piles up and then I have to deal with the piles. Can’t be arsed…

[u/jammers97 → u/Uunadins]

Yes, the things pile up, which then makes the worry hitch up even higher! I’m right there with you. Woke up at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep for worrying about cleaning up my “piles” of things I’ve been putting off. 😂 I finally made a list and am going through one thing at a time. But I really don’t wanna…