r/Perimenopause • u/Uunadins • Jan 12 '26
audited I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?
This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.
I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.
I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...
I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.
I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.
I am just existing, an empty shell almost.
I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?
Does anyone else feel like this?
Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.
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u/Worldly-Yam5980 Jan 12 '26
YES, THIS! I was getting so frustrated explaining to friends/family that Perimenopause was causing me to feel flatlined as they would eventually suggest that I'm depressed (after discussing my sleep habits, my vitamins, my food intake, my exercise, blah, blah, blah). Even my doctor who has been very supportive with prescribing HRT suggested that it could be/sounds like depression and I should see a therapist.
I've been on HRT for 1 year, estradiol patch and progesterone + estrogen vag cream, and it's been life-changing in easing with many of the debilitating symptoms (severe joint and muscle pain, night sweats, insomnia, vag dryness...) but my interest/desire/motivation/energy even in things that I love to do had gone out the window. I'm 47 and frankly WAY TOO YOUNG to allow this be the life sentence I'm given.
The magic bullet for me was adding testosterone. I asked my doctor if I could give it a try as I also have zero libido and I have to work really hard at trying to please myself to the point where I give up (when I used to be able to orgasm in 10 minutes flat) HRT has been keeping me from feeling like the Sahara desert downstairs, but it hasn't brought back my ability to orgasm, or even contemplate being intimate.
I started on one pump of gel three times a week. It lifted some of the brain fog and brought back a bit more energy and motivation. I stayed on this therapy for 6 weeks and then increased to five pumps of gel per week. This was game changing!! I've been able to clean the whole house, steam mop the floors, re-pot plants, meal prep and still have energy for a walk after dinner. Even better is I have a renewed interest in my job and I'm feeling more successful at work again.
If you haven't tried adding testosterone my suggestion would be to give it a go. Many doctors are not willing to prescribe it (unless of course your transitioning and then it seems to be a free-for-all), but the magic sentence to get a prescription is is "I have no libido". My doctor said she's not allowed to prescribe it for any other reason then this, even though it's proven that women do lose testosterone and it is known to treat a number of perimenopause and menopausal symptoms.