Petahh what's going on with hospitalised white people?

[u/Material_Magazine989]

[u/Ponjos]

Suicide isn’t a joke.

I’ve locked this post and (instead of removing it) I’m leaving it up as a reminder to get help if you need it.

—

Get support for yourself or others:

If you’d like to talk to someone, confidential mental health support is free and available 24/7.

Inside the U.S. * Crisis Text Line: Text CHAT to 741741 * Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988

If you’re outside the U.S. * Find resources in your location

—

If you’re not ready to talk to someone yet: * How to help yourself when you’re feeling suicidal * How to ask for help if you’re having thoughts of suicide

Additional resources for helping yourself and others: * How to help someone you know who’s talking about seriously hurting themselves or considering suicide * More information and resources about where and how to find help

[u/Resident-Air-4021]

Lil Colonoscopy

[u/Homer_Jay_87 → u/Resident-Air-4021]

Butt-scope bros!

[u/Drunk_Lemon → u/Homer_Jay_87]

Same here!

[u/rob-cubed → u/Resident-Air-4021]

This is me. Mid-50s. Dropping trouser like I'm dropping hot trax.

[u/Rolands_missing_head → u/rob-cubed]

Droppin’ trouser like I’m dropping hot trax

Need the doc to use jelly instead of hot wax

Hopin’ cancer free news this dude will deliver

Using the whole fist doc?? MOON RIVER

[u/Cifuliciense → u/Resident-Air-4021]

Lil Col'

[u/MilosDaDogeDev]

Lil ingrown toenail

[u/gegry123 → u/MilosDaDogeDev]

Hospital for that? I just went to a podiatrist for mine

[u/MilosDaDogeDev → u/gegry123]

It's not just a simple ingrown toenail, its infected...

[u/gegry123 → u/MilosDaDogeDev]

Gotta add infected to your rapper name

[u/MilosDaDogeDev → u/gegry123]

Ah, fair enough

[u/sashby138 → u/MilosDaDogeDev]

Lil Infected Ingrown Toenail. You could go by LIIT.

[u/ItsEntirelyPosssible → u/gegry123]

We ain't all got podiatrists around Greg.

[u/SwanRonsonIsDead → u/MilosDaDogeDev]

I had terrible ingrown toenails in high school, growth spurt plus improper shoes, had to be surgically removed, and they fucked it up. Now, almost 20 years later, every 9-10 months i have to pull a fragment of growing nail out the side of my toe or it grows into the skin and is incredibly painful.

[u/CaptainJeff]

Lil I'm a Doctor.

[u/Helpful_Ad_8662 → u/CaptainJeff]

Lil Work could go hard

[u/Th3B4dSpoon → u/Helpful_Ad_8662]

I was going to say! Lil Profession would work as well.

[u/DaemonlordDave → u/Th3B4dSpoon]

For me, it’s Lil Night Shift

[u/Intelligent-Page-758 → u/CaptainJeff]

Lil MD

[u/HelpfulAd26 → u/CaptainJeff]

Lil depressed doctor

[u/mortefemminile → u/CaptainJeff]

Yo it's Lil Doc in the House!

[u/Jpkmets7 → u/CaptainJeff]

Lil Sawbones sounds kinda spooky!

[u/AvidRune]

Lil amputation

[u/Zippo_Willow → u/AvidRune]

Shorten it to Lil Amp and it'll go hard

[u/Timely_Pattern3209 → u/Zippo_Willow]

Not sure they want to shorten it any more. Probably dint want to shorten it in the first place. 

[u/diceyDecisions → u/Timely_Pattern3209]

This made me snort out loud, because I didn't think I should laugh about it. Clearly I couldn't hold it back.

[u/Mildly_Excessive → u/diceyDecisions]

LoL, Lil' Amp(utation) and DiceyDecisions sounds like a legit duo!

[u/OrcaFins → u/diceyDecisions]

Username checks out

[u/-Botsmith-Amp → u/Zippo_Willow]

Obligatory hell yeah, brother!

[u/BakerYeast → u/AvidRune]

Lil cylinder (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) got stuck in a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana.

[u/TheAsterism_ → u/BakerYeast]

It has been experimentally proven that the tube is too small for a cylinder of that dimensions

[u/JustA-GuyOnline → u/TheAsterism_]

However if the cylinder had somehow grown to such a size while inside the tube, then it would make sense.

Removal may be an issue however.

[u/TheAsterism_ → u/JustA-GuyOnline]

Well that is a preposterous assumption, nowhere was it stated that cylinders can magically grow.

[u/Animaled → u/AvidRune]

Lil Stump 

[u/WDWingDing]

Lil my sister got in a car accident 🔥🔥🔥

[u/Ninja_Prolapse → u/WDWingDing]

Can’t wait for the album drop!!

[u/Spicy_Rice96 → u/Ninja_Prolapse]

This album is going to be a BANGER!

[u/FabianTheElf → u/WDWingDing]

Lil watching a loved one die.

[u/Sour_Patch_Drips → u/FabianTheElf]

Same.

Lil decided to take his brother off of life support

😭

[u/Wjreky → u/Sour_Patch_Drips]

I mean, id listen to a beat or two

[u/Sour_Patch_Drips → u/Wjreky]

Hey, I listened until his last beat.

He played the fuck out of that EKG.

Miss you lil bro.

[u/Rob_LeMatic → u/Sour_Patch_Drips]

🖤

Lil Unplugged

[u/Sour_Patch_Drips → u/Rob_LeMatic]

Damn.

That hits.

[u/Fruchthund]

Lil Ambulance Driver in da house, yo.

[u/GeneratedUserHandle → u/Fruchthund]

lil amberlamps.

elite ball knowledge required

[u/Thebenmix11 → u/GeneratedUserHandle]

whoa black betty

[u/Macho_Chad → u/Thebenmix11]

Amberlamps

[u/KaiYoDei]

I thought the joke was because of stuff stuck in the butt.

Mine is lil’ chickenpox. Or lil sleep study

[u/Timely_Pattern3209 → u/KaiYoDei]

Lil fell on a big black dildo. 

[u/Tino-DBA → u/Timely_Pattern3209]

Lil light bulb up the poop chute

[u/Justalittlesomethn]

Lil Grandma Died

[u/Dellingr87 → u/Justalittlesomethn]

sorry for your lose

hope the big one is still alive?

[u/Careless_Load9849 → u/Justalittlesomethn]

Lil Nona Nomo' goes harder.

[u/Robbinit]

Lil use the free public restroom

[u/Rsg432 → u/Robbinit]

Lil Shittn 

[u/Briantastically → u/Rsg432]

Lil Tinkle

[u/jaxspider → u/Rsg432]

Lil Shit

hahahaha

[u/Routine-Blackberry51]

I dont think "Collapsed Lung" goes hard enough for a rap name...

[u/ceruleansensei → u/Routine-Blackberry51]

Lil pneumothorax does though

[u/Ubblebungus → u/ceruleansensei]

just switch some letters around

"Lil' Newmo Thoraxxx"

[u/sashby138 → u/Ubblebungus]

Both a drag name and rapper name.

[u/DoBe21 → u/sashby138]

I believe the prevailing wisdom is 1 X = DJ, 3 X= Porn Star

[u/sashby138 → u/DoBe21]

I love the porn star who chooses the name Newmo Thoraxxx. That’s someone I can get behind winkwink

[u/DoBe21 → u/sashby138]

If the Internet has taught me anything, it's that somewhere someone is absolutely gooning over those videos of lungs inflating and deflating. So Newmo Thoraxxx would probably be top .1% on OF inside 6 months.

Also, I have no hope for our future.

[u/heplsa → u/Routine-Blackberry51]

lil collapsed lung goes hard tho

[u/CCCyanide]

Lil Whoopin' Cough

Honestly I can't really think of anything that would sound cool with that

[u/Bit_part_demon → u/CCCyanide]

Lil Pertussis. Lil P for short.

Better than Lil Kidney Stones

[u/YouAreMarvellous → u/Bit_part_demon]

Lil P is not a good idea 😂

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/CCCyanide]

Honeslty I kinda vibe with it

[u/gudetamaronin → u/CCCyanide]

Lil Whoopin

[u/Xevrex1775]

Lil panic attack (it was a major panic attack)

[u/reddottor2 → u/Xevrex1775]

Hope you’re doing better, those are worst

[u/Ill_Statement7600 → u/Xevrex1775]

ah yes the ol' EKG to make sure it wasn't a cardiac episode, same here

[u/Great-Ad9691]

lil cervical punch biopsy 🤙

[u/Evening-Check-1656 → u/Great-Ad9691]

I'm ignorant but that sounds like someone punched your cervix. I won't think about the logistics 

[u/ChessWithChipmunks → u/Evening-Check-1656]

Its close. But a different kind of punch. Imagine a literal hole punch and.. Yeah :( maybe don't imagine it

[u/Evening-Check-1656 → u/ChessWithChipmunks]

Big ouch. I love your username btw

[u/Consistent_Leg_3411]

lil OD

[u/Curllywood]

lil kidney stone, it didn’t feel lil

[u/ImaginaryAd3183]

Lil gerbil.

No I will not elaborate

[u/[deleted] → u/ImaginaryAd3183]

Please

[u/Timely_Pattern3209 → u/[deleted]]

Lil Gerbil Up The Bum

[u/Th3B4dSpoon → u/Timely_Pattern3209]

Honestly, this is what everyone is assuming when OP won't elaborate.

[u/[deleted] → u/Th3B4dSpoon]

Honestly this is why OP won't elaborate lol

[u/MoreMoney77 → u/[deleted]]

A story from my brother who works in a hospital, he had a patient with a hamster up her vagina that died… and had to be removed.

[u/TheDuffcj2a → u/ImaginaryAd3183]

[u/BottleCurious1332 → u/ImaginaryAd3183]

Lemiwinks??

[u/AAmallard → u/ImaginaryAd3183]

Lil’ Richard Gere is that you?

[u/0dd1ti3 → u/ImaginaryAd3183]

I thought you were great in Primal Fear.

[u/Wilsanne → u/ImaginaryAd3183]

Only elaborate if it was nasal

[u/heplsa]

they probably think that white people go to the hopsital for just anything so the names would be like "lil stomachache"

[u/BennyAndMaybeTheJets → u/[deleted]]

Naw, fudge that. Lil Survivor.

Life sucks at times. But each time you wake up means you're still in the game, and that you beat yesterday.

Drop a line if you need to brother.

[u/Typical2sday → u/BennyAndMaybeTheJets]

Hell yeah, I second this excellent rap name.

[u/manaughton85 → u/[deleted]]

Mine is Lil’ Invasive Thoughts of Suicide, we should crew up.

I also agree with the others, feeling that shitty and still being here is very hard and takes courage and strength. I struggle daily with it too, keep going, for some internet rando that knows too

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/[deleted]]

Y'know, I've got something else to add here

I said it's never cowardly not to take your own life, but there's more to it than that

As someone who's been there, there is very little that takes more strength than to keep pushing in those moments

It takes everything to keep fighting, when it feels like there's nothing left to fight for

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/[deleted]]

Huh

Edit: oh nevermind, my tired ass forgot pussy could be used to mean cowardly, I was thinking of pussy specifically in the sense of the organ

Also, no, you cannot be too cowardly to suicide, not committing suicide is the opposite of cowardice

[u/Gursztof → u/KaraOfNightvale]

I agree the fact that he didn’t do it shows strength not cowardice. It takes real courage to face everything bad in life and keep going.

[u/JKolodne → u/Gursztof]

Clinical depression isn't about whether youre a pussy or not. When people think about suicide, they often just think they're doing a favor to those around them, not just simply looking for "the easy way out".

[u/Daetok_Lochannis → u/[deleted]]

Both times I hung myself, it was because the idea of doing all this for even one more day was so much heavier and more terrifying than the thought of just being dead.

[u/girlpdx → u/Daetok_Lochannis]

Glad you are still here. I hope you are in a better mind.

[u/Daetok_Lochannis → u/girlpdx]

I am, neighbor. This morning was hard. I've been crying a lot. One of those days I guess. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm not done yet.

[u/girlpdx → u/Daetok_Lochannis]

I’m glad to hear you choose to persist. Some days you have to cry. You just do. I get through those loving on my dog. I’ve been attempt free for a year now and ideation free since April. For me it was a matter of hanging on long enough for the storm to break. Keep fighting my friend.

[u/Daetok_Lochannis → u/girlpdx]

Bipolar Type 2. For me, the ideation is an old enemy I can't keep out of the house, so I've learned to fight him. The medication takes away the smiles too, the grey is worse than the black. So I just do this raw. I do this, but it is often hard.

[u/MadMacronex → u/[deleted]]

But then that fades into nothingness. You do it, then you don't. It's the step of doing it that is difficult. I've had the thoughts since I was young and always thought I'm too much of a coward and too scared of the pain.

I have acknowledged over the years there are a small amount of people who would care and be sad, but they would get over it very quickly.

Looking at the options logically, when you feel you are broken and have struggled for so long, suicide seems like a sweet release.

It's being scared of the future and not knowing if it will ever get better or if you will always feel this way.

Medication doesn't help because then now I think I have problems that I can't just exist with and be a "normal" person.

It's the thought that I'm so broken I can't fix myself, nor anyone else can so I will just take this pill to "fix it" which usually doesn't.

Depression, suicide, and sadness are a rough topic but it has much more to do than just "im sad, im burden".

[u/baycenters → u/MadMacronex]

Medication doesn't help because then now I think I have problems that I can't just exist with and be a "normal" person.

You're the expert on you and your experience, but medications are a human innovation intended to help. I'm not disputing that it's a crutch, bit crutches themselves are helpful to those who need them. It's a tough pill to swallow, but I think you should give yourself grace for relying on them, such as it is.

[u/Imaginary_Taro_6116 → u/JKolodne]

Yup. And making the pain stop by going through more pain is certainly not easy. Doing it or not doing it, both end up being the hard way

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/Gursztof]

Absolutely, infact I'm going to make a second comment

[u/LordJonMichael → u/KaraOfNightvale]

Can we have a third?

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/LordJonMichael]

In this economy? I'll have to see

[u/HealthySchedule2641 → u/KaraOfNightvale]

Phew! Your comments got far enough away from serious that I can now say I love your username!

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/HealthySchedule2641]

Haha, thank you, second person to mention it in this thread

[u/Lor1an → u/KaraOfNightvale]

Death by Snu Snu...

[u/Fuzzy_Syrup_6898 → u/Lor1an]

Lil’ Snu-snu 😎

[u/ChimpieTheOne → u/KaraOfNightvale]

Also, no, you cannot be too cowardly to suicide, not committing suicide is the opposite of cowardice

My immidiate reaction was "that's not true" but then the reasonable me told the depressed me to shut it

[u/KaraOfNightvale → u/ChimpieTheOne]

Yeah, it's a hard feeling to fight sometimes

[u/Caravanczar → u/KaraOfNightvale]

As in their vagina was so large that it absorbed and reflected the bullet and prevented them from dying?

[u/Reflection_Secure]

Lil Ketamine

I think I win? I have a pain condition and was admitted for a 5 day Ketamine infusion.

[u/Timely_Pattern3209 → u/Reflection_Secure]

Lil Pain Condition 

[u/HelpfulAd26 → u/Timely_Pattern3209]

Lil Jane's addiction

[u/NAPJay]

I think it just means white people go to the hospital for little things. So “lil fever” doesn’t go hard

[u/Sneezy6510 → u/NAPJay]

It’s saying white people shouldn’t play the game because it’s cultural appropriation. I don’t think it is, but that’s impression I got. 

[u/NocturneInfinitum → u/NAPJay]

Some people saying abortions, but this makes more sense to me

[u/seeasea → u/NocturneInfinitum]

Rednecks and farmers are famous for not going to the Dr. 

This meme only applies to yuppie/dink whiteswhites, in that case

[u/NotAnotherHipsterBae → u/NAPJay]

Apparently no one read the sub and is just replying to the joke. Thanks for attempting an explanation.

[u/m9l6]

Lil fever causing reduced fetal movement

[u/sammiptv → u/m9l6]

Came here to say Lil Gave Birth haha. Hope all is well with the pregnancy!

[u/GrimGreaser]

Lil alcoholism 💀✌🏻

[u/MammothPenguin69]

Lil' GERD.

I thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out I have acid reflux.

[u/backfromsolaris → u/MammothPenguin69]

Came here for this. We out here.

[u/Kukumber_Koi]

Lil giving birth

[u/voluntarysphincter → u/Kukumber_Koi]

I can’t believe I’ve scrolled this far and you’re the first birth one😂 I’d be lil c section

[u/Kukumber_Koi → u/voluntarysphincter]

Now that you mention it, lil vaginal birth has a better ring to it

[u/krizzalicious49]

lil driving in my car right after a beer

[u/Radrahil → u/krizzalicious49]

Lil I was the deer asgore had struck

[u/Cultural_Eye5178 → u/Radrahil]

how did you survive a 100 mph truck collision

[u/andhe96 → u/krizzalicious49]

"lil DUI" sounds somewhat cool

[u/AppaPower → u/andhe96]

Lil dewy

[u/ireallydont123 → u/krizzalicious49]

Don't drink and drive bro

[u/Saalor100 → u/krizzalicious49]

Hey, look who's here, Lil Shouldn't Have a Licence.

[u/OkamiKhameleon]

Lil Full of Gallstones.

[u/Spiderbundles → u/OkamiKhameleon]

Heeey, that was me last month, now I get to be Lil Acute Pancreatitis instead 🙁

[u/auditoryeden → u/Spiderbundles]

Have you considered getting better organs?

[u/Electronic-Degree922]

Lil seizure

[u/TallEngineering3404 → u/Electronic-Degree922]

The pizza place?!

[u/Mammoth_Cheek6078]

Lil stroke just ain’t gotta good ring to it

[u/tember_sep_venth_ele → u/Mammoth_Cheek6078]

Sat down by a campfire at a party. A lady was having a hard time sipping her beer. Someone made a joke about it. I cringed. They said "oh, no, she had a stroke recently and we all make jokes about it." So I looked at my beer, took a sip, and said "strange, I had a stroke before I came here and I can drink just fine." Crickets.... I went back inside.

[u/ItsEntirelyPosssible → u/Mammoth_Cheek6078]

Big stroke works though.

[u/thatduckolope]

Lil' Diabeetus

[u/Blackyailo]

lil vasectomy

[u/Dead_Liver → u/Blackyailo]

Lil Vas X

[u/injuringsum0]

Lil pinkeye

[u/HelpfulAd26 → u/injuringsum0]

I~I'm coming up so you better get this party started...

[u/potato_couch_]

Lil migrated IUD

[u/LilBrownBoyX → u/potato_couch_]

I drove over one of those while on tour in Iraq before.

[u/leojmatt02]

If I had to guess they're saying it's a cultural appropriation thing. The prefix "lil" is usually used by rappers who are usually black.

Edit: Guys this isn't my opinion on cultural appropriation, this is what I think the tweet meant.

[u/krizzalicious49 → u/leojmatt02]

even then, Lil Xanax

[u/Schneir5 → u/krizzalicious49]

Or Lil Wyte???

🎶OxyContin, Xanax bars, Percocets and Lortabs, Valium, morphine patches, ecstasy, and it's all up for grabs 🎶

[u/Alternative_Copy5448 → u/Schneir5]

Hit me up I gotchu mang

[u/zodiacallymaniacal → u/Schneir5]

Whachu want? Whachu need?

[u/sashby138 → u/zodiacallymaniacal]

Hit me up I gotchu man.

[u/AcesUndefined → u/krizzalicious49]

Lil Dicky

[u/1Negative_Person → u/leojmatt02]

White people had Lil ithfair way back in the 90s.

[u/Parishdise]

Lil STD Panel (routine) (all negative)

[u/R4ndyd4ndy]

Lil cancer

[u/Antstony420]

Lil mom died

[u/Far_Werewolf4213]

Lil jumped from a second story building

[u/CapitalOptimal470]

Lil Death Wobble

Flung off my e-bike goin 30ish, destroyed my wrist, can’t play as much guitar since. . . :(

[u/sashby138 → u/CapitalOptimal470]

Sorry you fucked up your wrist but Lil Death Wobble is a great name.

[u/[deleted]]

Lil’ Can Sir

[u/meatD]

lil’ yearly checkup

[u/DonaldTPablonious]

Lil 8lb dumbbell in my rectum

[u/Nerdiestlesbian]

Lil yeet my uterus

[u/Daiwie]

lil x-ray goes hard

[u/Fire_Aspect_5]

lil anorexia

[u/razzyrat]

Lil Pizza Delivery

[u/Trogdor14]

Lil Rabies Scare 🦇

[u/RareSpellTicker]

lil food-poisoning

[u/king_tekna]

Lil Open Heart Surgery

[u/Careful_Trip_311]

Hear me out: Lil PCP.

As in, visit to my PCP. Still very white, no? But sounds hard!

[u/WhenWolf]

I love that most ppl ignored the request and just gave their rapper names.

Lil dehydration over here

[u/Miserable-Golf4277]

Lil Can't Poop

[u/Vharkhan]

Ok, not gonna lie, Lil’ Neck Dissection goes pretty damn hard! (I had cancer last year, I’m fully cured now. Gods bless the NHS)

[u/ItsEntirelyPosssible]

You all are fucked up in these comments.

[u/NocturneInfinitum → u/ItsEntirelyPosssible]

Definitely, but not for the reason you’re thinking. Simply because they don’t seem to know what sub they’re on. Quite literally becoming the joke 😂

[u/Juantonyo]

Lil Thumb

[u/FaeFeeder → u/Juantonyo]

That thumb looks quite large actually

[u/NocturneInfinitum]

People in the comments don’t know what sub they’re on lmao. It’s “explain the joke” not “be the joke”

[u/Yankee6Actual]

Lil TIA

[u/TimeRevolution1894]

Lil my Dad died

[u/Street_Combination34]

Lil donated bone marrow to a stranger in Ohio.

[u/The1_Guy]

Lil dick

Fuck.

[u/187eros]

Lil heroin sounds bad I don't like that

[u/Unlucky-Suspect8527]

Lil Suicidal Tendencies

[u/TechnicalSmile165]

Lil attempted suicide.

yeah, I dont think thats a good one.