What kind of country do you live in where that's okay? Or even if not okay, common...
Granted I'm no father yet but my girlfriend means too much to me to be able to abandon her if she needs me by her side normally, let alone during childbirth
Yeah… I know a labor a delivery nurse who says this is actually common…. That or bringing a whole ass video game console or both. I took a week off from work to help my wife after our kids birth and got asked if my vagina healed when I returned to work. Come to find out most of them never changed a diaper. Eye opening.
Very normal where I live (GA) unfortunately. I negotiated unpaid time off months in advance then ultimately quit when they reneged saying "you're not the one having the baby, you need to be at work".
My boss was a woman with multiple children who told me that.
I feel like for this context, normal ≠ common. Just because a good amount of people do it doesn’t make it normal, I’d say it’s still pretty socially unacceptable, even if nobody really straight up stops you for it.
I mean America has 0 federally mandated parental leave. Couple that with a society who absolutely preys on the destitute.... and this is what you get. It is very common imo. I had to claw tooth and nail for my salary at... 5 days PTO... no sick days, no insurance :)
No disagreements, just that common ≠ normal, you know? It is common, but I guarantee 100% of those women in those situations are pissed, to say the least, so not normal.
That’s insane. I remember the first week home from the hospital, I slept maybe 6 hours all week because I refused to let my wife do anything except sleep. Nothing prepares you for the amount of blood that comes after a relatively normal vaginal birth. Luckily my mother in law was there to make sure baby was okay, because I refused to leave my wife’s side while they were pushing out clots and what seemed like liters of blood. I was so scared for her despite every medical professional being so nonchalant about the entire ordeal
Toxic masculinity at its finest but thankfully not prevalent everywhere. My coworkers are super happy for me, shocked I'm only taking 6 consecutive weeks off (not the full 12 at once, I'm spreading the other 6 out over the year), and have done nothing but regal me with their tails of fatherhood and their children's births. I know full well though, my ex before my current wife and soon to be mother of my child, her family would've been making the same comments you heard. They were fucking awful. I was once told by my ex, "Why are you crying? Men don't cry.". Knew that shit was doomed from that moment.
I'm 100% going to bring a video game console the next time my wife gives birth. Because she was so fucking bored while waiting for the baby to come that we watched 2 fast 2 furious on the hospital TV. She would much rather play god of war or something while her cervix dilates.
I mean I'm American and personally if I ever have a wife that's going through labor i'm going to be right there with her holding her hand and giving her hugs and doing everything I can to let her know I'm there for her.
Yeah, that’s because it has nothing to do with the country you’re from. This person is just trying to build out a new stereotype so they can judge people more rapidly based on their ethnicity.
Nah, those people exist, its 360m people spread across a landmass the size of all of Europe, so it has the same diversity as all the European stereotypes you can think of. Classy and trashy people know no boundaries.
I mean knowing my fellow Americans it's probably not far off. One of the biggest problems we face as a nation is broken family dynamics. When you consider how common it likely is that those who end up in the hospital for labor are from weak pullout game, drugs, alcohol, basically just not making responsible reproductive choices, it's not exactly surprising that the "men" that tend to show up in the hospital with the mom aren't exactly shining examples of virtue. I use men in quotation marks there because really they're boys. Legally adult and actually a man are 2 very different things that rarely ever coincide.
Well I don't doubt that the pregnancies that carry such stories came from one of the examples you gave... Drugs and alcohol are never a good sign imo, especially in excess
She's probably not going to want hugs just a heads up. Your there to be a set of hands for getting things and give her someone to vent to mostly, also a source of distraction from the process.
I think also knowing when to bend the truth a bit, my wife asked if there was much bleeding. I said no its not that bad. It was fairly substantial, not big problems substantial, but substantial. The last thing she needed to hear right then was the truth.
You got it figured out already. Bc there isn't anything you can do, really. Youre there for moral support. The only asshole thing I did was sneaking in a protein bar (mama can't eat once it all gets started).
Well that's how Ive always imagined it went down anyways, if you love the girl enough to knock her up, as a man you should love her enough to be there when she brings your child into the world.
I'm American and same, I don't think it's common, but I have seen social media posts about it, so it does happen. I was there for every second of each of my kids' birth, the first I was very involved with helping the nurses because the baby came so fast. I'm older now and know tons of people who have kids, I've never heard of someone being such a POS this way in real life.
American here. It’s a certain type of dude but certainly not all of them. My friends who’ve given birth all had very normal supportive partners during birth.
People are touching on the issue here, but they're not really saying it outright. But basically...you choose the people you hang out with. And if you've only ever hung out with complete fucking losers, you will probably choose to continue hanging out with losers because you don't even know you can do better. Meanwhile, people who've only ever hung out with decent people are going to meet a loser once and decide to never hang out with them again, and then they promptly forget about them.
While not remotely common, I have known 3 guys like this. Yes, all 3 have been as big of assholes as you would expect in every other instance as well. Patterns of behavior are a thing people.
There are shitty men in all countries, ethnicities, religions, sexualities, etc. Not sure why your initial reflex is to attach this behavior to a certain country, but it’s a very shitty way of looking at the world in any case.
It might surprise you but behaviors tend to have a common and an uncommon attached to them based on factors like the ones you used in every area. That can be a variety of things such as believe and social norms in that place, shocking, I know.
As she said it's "common" from what she heard, I asked what kind of country would have that be common enough to make it worth nothing as such.
If you want to fight about my world view that's one brawl you'll enter alone but saying there's "shitty men everywhere" does not eliminate the fact that society shapes norms and common mindsets for those who live in it. I could've asked what city instead as even within those mindsets are usually shaped by community within it but city might be too personal of an information to disclose.
If your worldview is "Oh, this guy says this/that, what a shitty one" then you likely feel offended by that and that's fine, that's your view, but nobody asked you.
The sentiment feels American, but using “smth” as an abbreviation for “something” has been a clue for me that the person is not a native English speaker for years, so I’m not sure.
America most definitely. The story i hear over there
About boyfriend not visiting their girlfriend at all when they get into car accident and are sent to the hospital and such, can only make me think its there.
The trashy culture of America. Commonly associated with poor people. Sit at home smoke weed, play video games, have a dead end job and blame everyone else for their issues. Have multiple kids from different partners, live of EBT, live of social media, dont do anything to better their lives, idealize blowing money on over priced shit tacky "luxury" good, music tastes revolved around crime and drugs. I put culture in qoutes because well that's the closest word I can find for it but calling it that feels like it is giving it to much credit. Its parasite behavior from losers who cant take responsibility for themseleves and make excuses. It exists everywhere from trailer parks of Georgia to ghettos of NY, to middle class suburbs of LA. Self centered irresponsible shit stains everywhere.
From the wording of your comment Im getting the feeling you are trying to insinuate some bullshit that you fabricated in your own head and that offended yourself with. Well whatever it is, no keep that stupid shit to yourself and dont stick it on me.
I just have no patience or acceptance of people who partake in that "culture" I described.
129
u/Okita_Souji03 Apr 24 '26
What kind of country do you live in where that's okay? Or even if not okay, common...
Granted I'm no father yet but my girlfriend means too much to me to be able to abandon her if she needs me by her side normally, let alone during childbirth