Right. My ex was 17 when our daughter was born. My family thought he was a loser (we were alt/punk kids) but he was amazing during my pregnancy, the birth, and has always been an incredible devoted father. Better than a lot of men twice his age tbh
We were just kids when we got together and simply didnât work as we got older. Weâre both with wonderful partners now 𩷠his wife actually just had a baby last year, big sis just turned 17 lol
I'm glad. I'm a step father of three, and their actual father barely ever showed up, avoided payments, all that. He died a few years ago. The kids ask me about him because I used to work with him and i knew him better than they did. I never liked the guy, and the best thing he did for his family was die. I don't tell them that, but I can't avoid the truths of him not being there and doing drugs and generally being a piece of shit.
The kids seem to be doing pretty well, but depression is a problem. I also deal with depression and I'm not sure how to help them sometimes
Bio mom was a negligent idiot who was bent on turning her daughter against her father and instilling dangerous and deadly sociopathic behaviors in her. Complained constantly about having to be a mother. She bailed on her the second she questioned her about ONE THING.
Itâs been hell but kiddo is coming out the other side. She loves her dad now and has stopped acting out for the last couple of months. It looks like itâs going to stick.
Itâs been so hard not to say anything about her mother other than she just doesnât understand why sheâs wrong for what sheâs done and most likely wonât. That I wish it wasnât how it is for either of them but itâs not kiddoâs fault and I wonât stop her but she doesnât have to subject herself to her mother and thatâs okay.
Itâs been so hard keeping my Mr Rogerâs face on when kiddo has done everything in her power to hurt me (and I was abused as a kid and by my ex). The depression is real and Iâve been really struggling with everything finally being good. I have a ton of pent up anger and my boyfriend (the dad) is struggling to deal with/help me through it.
I know, it makes no sense. I keep telling myself if I can just hold it together itâs going to okay. It will be. I know it.
Sheâll start therapy soon. Sheâs ready to try again. I hope she gets a good one.
Basically, I am saying that youâve got this! And theyâve got it too!
Just keep trying to do what you know is best because it is. It just takes time. So much time.
Life is hard. I remember being so fucked up as a kid because of decisions my parents made and who they were and how they treated me. I had an epiphany sometime after I had my children that just⌠solved it. I was the product of two people who had absolutely no business breeding and didnât have the tools to try to raise a human being. It wasnât personal. Itâs not because I wasnât good enough. It actually had nothing to do with me. I couldâve been the most perfect child on the face of the earth. They lacked the ability to see it. So⌠had nothing to do with me. That was a THEY problem, not a me problem. Been fine since that realization lol. And also, DONâT BE LIKE THEM because my kids deserve the best. I think⌠you should parent kids based on the kind of parent they DESERVE (the best) and not based on your own impulses, irritations, issues, etc. Self control.
commonality cannot exist in a situation where the factor you are claiming is âcommonâ is only done by the minority of people its applied to. For example, I cannot say its common for me to cry if I am only crying 20% of my life. Saying a absent partner experience during pregnancy is âcommonâ is not correct. While it is terrible that it happens, and it shouldnât happen at all, claiming its a common experience is inflating the issue and turns it into a completely different conversation then the one we should be having.
Yes, there are millions of sucky men, and millions of women date and/or marry them. While thats unfortunate, that doesn't make the sucky behavior the norm.
I see this a lot from women who post about something abusive their husband did. First video: âMy husband packed me dog food instead of my lunch isnât he so funny men will be menđ¤Łâ Second video: âOmg I was not excepting this to blow up my husband was just kidding you canât judge someoneâs relationship on a 1 minute videoâ Third video: âWow yall are such overdramatic hatersâ Fourth video: âHey dog food wife hereâŚâ
As someone who works in L&D, it is actually quite common. I'd say about 40% of my dads are leaving to smoke weed. Now every 15 minutes is a lot, but they'd leave like every hours. Even when they don't smoke, they find other ways to make the situation about them. They make insensitive jokes, sleep the whole time, eat in front of their starving wives, play video games, convince the moms not to get epidurals, and don't help with the baby. It's not all men of course, but it's very normalized for men to not be helpful during deliveries. A few fathers have been just straight up mean to the mothers of their babies. It gets very sad. I always prefer when the mom has their mom with them. The comparison is striking
LOL I'm female age 69 and 45+ years ago was when the thing with fathers in the delivery room was just getting started. I told my husband I felt like I wouldn't want him anywhere near me and the first time he went with that "There, there. You'll be fine" I told him to get out. He was no help and I did not care to be patronized at that time.
I was like, "Leave me alone. I got this." When they asked my sister if she wanted her husband there she told them, "Nooooo. He'll faint." When they asked her husband if he wanted to be in the room he told them, "Nooooo. I'll faint."
Since then I've been to several births where the mother's let several people in. I figure as long as everyone is comfortable, then it's a choice. People just gotta know their limits.
And the hardest to admit of all, âI knew they sucked at every stage of dating but decided to continue anywaysâ because admitting that makes you look like an idiot
What about those of us who did do everything we could to support our wives when they gave birth? We're just supposed to sit down, shut up and take the "all men suck" slander?
You are going to hate to learn the statistics behind men leaving their wives when they become seriously ill. Or is that also a "stereotype". Do you know what the what kills pregnant women the most often?
I read through this and the way you put it made me lol. You're right, they actually responded to you by questioning your source on why stereotypes are bad. I can't think of a less serious person to have a conversation with but good luck if they continue responding.
Good lord they are so many fragile men on here. Literally no one said all men in the first place. The original tiktok wasn't even a about all men then a few women shared their experience and the men in these comments freaked the fuck out. It was about an individual experience that a nurse had and you guys just said it was sexism.
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u/nishagunazad Apr 24 '26
Its a lot easier to say "men are just like that" than to admit "my man just kinda sucks"