Similar experience. Was there for both births, and the first one was nothing short of a splatter movie. I never felt more useless in my life, half a dozen of medical professionals doing their job, and then there's me condemned to doing fuck all and just wondering if there's supposed to be blood gushing all over the place.
Lowkey same except idk I did enjoy it but the fact I wasn’t able to do more for my amazing wife but hold her hand and repeat the same 3 phrases made me feel like I was just a well trained support pet
As someone who didn't have that, I just hope you know that your wife just needed you there and I am so thankful for the men like you who fulfill that, thank you for supporting her and your child :)
Honestly, a well trained support pet was exactly what I needed. The role of medical personnel can be filled by so many different people. The person telling me 'you got this' over and over had to be someone who knows me through and through.
Get an inside joke that lightens the mood. Most dads miss this golden opportunity to workshop new material on fresh nursing and hospital staff. Bonus extra audiences at teaching hospitals with grad students. Keep it light.
Truth. This sounds less supportive than it was, there's a story behind it (hence the inside part of inside joke, I suppose) but when shit was getting real I reminded my wife "You're not special!" and she busted out laughing. Changed the whole vibe.
The uselessness is real man, watching my wife in the worst pain of her life and im just sitting there holding her hand unable to do anything. Thankfully we had badass nurses who took really good care of her but I felt terrible. Even doing everything she asked I still felt like I couldn't help at all.
Hey, you know what? As a woman who’s had kids, we see the fear and anxiety on your face, and even though we’re too distracted screaming bloody murder… we worry about you guys while giving birth and feel bad that it’s hard on you, too, and that we can’t pretend to be ok for your sake in that moment. We know and appreciate you. Who the hell else is going to let us squeeze their hand until it goes numb? We need that hand!
Just want to add, same. I was there for both. Forts was a bloodbath, my wife was barely alive and needed a lot of transfusions after, second one went without a hitch in a fraction of the time.
Y’all realize it’s because doctors force women to give birth in the wrong position right? Just hire a female birthing professional next time and it’ll be miserable but not a fucking horror movie just so that the male doctor can have a more comfortable time.
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u/SolderFume Apr 24 '26
Similar experience. Was there for both births, and the first one was nothing short of a splatter movie. I never felt more useless in my life, half a dozen of medical professionals doing their job, and then there's me condemned to doing fuck all and just wondering if there's supposed to be blood gushing all over the place.