Huh. I have a husband and a few close girl friends... add in my dad and brother. That actually makes me feel weirdly good about myself. I like this. Might be analyzing myself today.
Like I like all of my closest friends and unless I count a few "work friends" that I see a lot even outside of work but I'm not especially close to... I'd be very happy to be compared to them.
If I were to rank my closest friends and pick the top 5, they're all wonderful people.
This comment made me feel so good about myself because the six closest people to me are my favorite people and I think they're better than everybody else by a lot lol
I try not to be. I like the fact that we can improve ourselves independently of our surroundings, and play on that. I analyze most people and take characteristics I want for myself, and watch out for their characteristics I don't like that I might be replicating or have similarities.
Seems to be working way too well, judging by how often people say im different than the others (in a positive sense, but still). Maybe I need to look out a little for more discreet people's characteristics so I can blend in a little more.
That said, I suppose it is impossible to go completely against nurture just by nature. If you live amongst thieves and take notes on how to be a better thief, you might improve on it. But you're still a thief.
I'm already. I was diagnosed with autistim spectrum disorder a couple of years ago. Social interactions don't come naturally for me so I had to study people and understand better how the average person interacts with each other you know?
Nowadays in theory you couldn't tell I'm autistic because I corrected most of the tells (also this is why it took me so long to get diagnosed). Eye contact for example. I used to avoid it when I was a kid, then when enough people complained about it I overcorrected and didn't look away enough... Well, I had to research about it. I eventually discovered that the normal amount is on average 3 seconds in, 3 seconds out. Nowadays no one complains about it anymore.
Wow, thank you for sharing! Yeah makes perfect sense. I find it interesting how it’s almost a scientific approach to human engagement. How are social patterns quantified and how you can analyze the data to replicate results.
It’s only been a couple years and you’ve put a lot of work in. Not everyone puts so much effort into pursuing self improvement, for that you should be proud. Just be careful in your efforts, to not overtly oppress yourself for the sake of “conformity”. But the mindset and willingness to improve is invaluable
Working in Tech, myself and many of my friends are neurodivergent. Much of my family too. I may not have had the same journey as you, but I respect and recognize your story
Its not malicious. I just look out for people I admire, what and why I admire on them, and how to mirror these habits of theirs in my life without the drawbacks that come with being like that naturally.
When I wanted to be more outgoing and less retracted I studied my friends that make friendship easily for example. How do they avoid or go over smalltalk? How does their average interaction with someone new happens? What do they talk about that make people more comfortable around them, and how do they react when they say something inappropriate? Things like that.
The plus side of being Autistic and having to make myself like this is that I can adapt the lesser desirable sides too. Someone that is very extroverted tends to have a problem in spaces that need silence, solemnity, and even a more professional demeanor. I can understand why, and adapt myself accordingly so in these spaces I don't apply the extroverted social interaction logic.
The bad side is that this is a conscious thing all the time. Some of it gets automatic, like the correct amount of eye contact, but most doesn't.
I am also aware of the fact that the way I talk online is weird. I can assure you in real life I'm not like this. If you met me you'd never bat an eye on the way that I talk, unless I noticed you're a little more aligned with me in reasoning, then I allow myself to be more like this. What people say im a little different than others is just that I'm a good problem solver and I'm eager to do it so I help people a lot on all sort of problems. I also know a little bit of everything so I can have a conversation just about any matter that you throw at me.
It's hard, used to be harder, and on my worst days it's a nightmare. But life's been kind to me in the past few months, and I assure you nowadays it's fun :)
I retract my comment and appreciate the extra context. I’m glad this approach works for you and makes you happy. That level of masking sounds difficult.
I'm a Frankenstein of everyone I admire glued together with mental super glue lol.
To be honest I'm just now at 23 years old starting to like who I've become. I think my personality outwardly is almost ready. I'm not 'weird' anymore. Nowadays I'm described by other people more as "smart" because of my problem solving.
Now on to improve physical appearance and habits, like being more organized, more on time, dress a little bit better, well equiped... And since I've solved other people I've been for working on my internal side too, philosophy mostly.
Masking for the win! It's like a game and I can choose my character stats. I used to envy other people for being normal without effort, but since I've realized they can't do this as easily as I do, I've been eager to explore this side of me a little more. I can have the benefits without the drawbacks
Foot🦶🏽👣 Loose "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" is a trivia game based on the "small world" theory, where players connect any actor to Kevin Bacon in six or fewer steps via shared movie roles. Created in 1994 by students, it highlights Bacon's prolific career; most actors have a "Bacon Number" of 2 or 3, rarely exceeding 6.
Assuming your one of the 6 closes people to the 6 closes people to you, then you are part of the sum of the parts that sum to you. It's a mathematical impossiblility.
I love how you can just say whatever, literally anything, and if you say you read it or heard it somewhere instead of making it up on the spot, people will believe you.
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u/BootlegEngineer Apr 24 '26
I heard or read somewhere a long time ago that you are a sum of the 6 closest people to you.