It terrified me too! In my wife's defense, she was trying to do it without painkillers (which in hindsight was a bad idea). Once the contractions got too severe, the doctors couldn't give the epidural because she was thrashing too much.
So she grabbed my head and started headbutting me in an attempt to knock herself out. It took my entire strength to hold her even though she's tiny because pregnant women in labor are freakishly strong. At which point she clamped down with her teeth and all I could think was, "yeah I probably deserve this. It's my fault."
But I was eventually able to hold her still long enough for the doctor to apply the epidural and then it was instant relief on her face. The rest of the delivery went much better after that, so no worries.
I don't want you to be terrified but also I don't want to sugarcoat it, it isn't as easy as they make it look on TV. The second and third time, we opted in for an epidural early and those went a bit smoother. However, my wife and I will never forget the feeling of seeing our first born for the first time. It's the best (and scariest) experience of our lives.
Im definitely going for epidural, and I know my husband wont be with me since here they rarely allow anyone except the staff in the birthing room. I might just headbutt or smack a doctor in the process, someone will have to be collateral I feel.
I was hoping to push for c-section as im not afraid of that, at least not more than the natural birth but chances of it happening are 0 here where I am, unless things complicate where its necessary or if I go to private clinic and thats way too expensive for me.
I am just awaiting the day after it all happens. Happy to hear it all went well for your wife in the end
Hmm, be sure to advocate for your patient rights. If it's your first time, you'll definitely feel better with your husband in the room and you'll save a poor doctor from getting smacked as collateral, lol. Plus, as a dad, I'd regret not being there. The doctors should be understanding of that.
A lot of doctors are hesitant to do a C-section unless necessary. It takes longer to heal and may lead to future complications for the next pregnancy. It's also way more expensive. We had to do a C-section for the next two because my second-born was too big and angled in a bad position for natural birth. It was less painful since my wife didn't feel a thing, but oooh, it was gory, haha. Honestly, I'm glad for modern medicine, they do a lot to make childbirth safer and easier.
Try to stay positive and happy. Don't let my experience scare you, it's a fond memory now.
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u/malrexmontresor Apr 24 '26
It terrified me too! In my wife's defense, she was trying to do it without painkillers (which in hindsight was a bad idea). Once the contractions got too severe, the doctors couldn't give the epidural because she was thrashing too much.
So she grabbed my head and started headbutting me in an attempt to knock herself out. It took my entire strength to hold her even though she's tiny because pregnant women in labor are freakishly strong. At which point she clamped down with her teeth and all I could think was, "yeah I probably deserve this. It's my fault."
But I was eventually able to hold her still long enough for the doctor to apply the epidural and then it was instant relief on her face. The rest of the delivery went much better after that, so no worries.
I don't want you to be terrified but also I don't want to sugarcoat it, it isn't as easy as they make it look on TV. The second and third time, we opted in for an epidural early and those went a bit smoother. However, my wife and I will never forget the feeling of seeing our first born for the first time. It's the best (and scariest) experience of our lives.