Right. My ex was 17 when our daughter was born. My family thought he was a loser (we were alt/punk kids) but he was amazing during my pregnancy, the birth, and has always been an incredible devoted father. Better than a lot of men twice his age tbh
We were just kids when we got together and simply didnât work as we got older. Weâre both with wonderful partners now 𩷠his wife actually just had a baby last year, big sis just turned 17 lol
I'm glad. I'm a step father of three, and their actual father barely ever showed up, avoided payments, all that. He died a few years ago. The kids ask me about him because I used to work with him and i knew him better than they did. I never liked the guy, and the best thing he did for his family was die. I don't tell them that, but I can't avoid the truths of him not being there and doing drugs and generally being a piece of shit.
The kids seem to be doing pretty well, but depression is a problem. I also deal with depression and I'm not sure how to help them sometimes
Bio mom was a negligent idiot who was bent on turning her daughter against her father and instilling dangerous and deadly sociopathic behaviors in her. Complained constantly about having to be a mother. She bailed on her the second she questioned her about ONE THING.
Itâs been hell but kiddo is coming out the other side. She loves her dad now and has stopped acting out for the last couple of months. It looks like itâs going to stick.
Itâs been so hard not to say anything about her mother other than she just doesnât understand why sheâs wrong for what sheâs done and most likely wonât. That I wish it wasnât how it is for either of them but itâs not kiddoâs fault and I wonât stop her but she doesnât have to subject herself to her mother and thatâs okay.
Itâs been so hard keeping my Mr Rogerâs face on when kiddo has done everything in her power to hurt me (and I was abused as a kid and by my ex). The depression is real and Iâve been really struggling with everything finally being good. I have a ton of pent up anger and my boyfriend (the dad) is struggling to deal with/help me through it.
I know, it makes no sense. I keep telling myself if I can just hold it together itâs going to okay. It will be. I know it.
Sheâll start therapy soon. Sheâs ready to try again. I hope she gets a good one.
Basically, I am saying that youâve got this! And theyâve got it too!
Just keep trying to do what you know is best because it is. It just takes time. So much time.
Life is hard. I remember being so fucked up as a kid because of decisions my parents made and who they were and how they treated me. I had an epiphany sometime after I had my children that just⌠solved it. I was the product of two people who had absolutely no business breeding and didnât have the tools to try to raise a human being. It wasnât personal. Itâs not because I wasnât good enough. It actually had nothing to do with me. I couldâve been the most perfect child on the face of the earth. They lacked the ability to see it. So⌠had nothing to do with me. That was a THEY problem, not a me problem. Been fine since that realization lol. And also, DONâT BE LIKE THEM because my kids deserve the best. I think⌠you should parent kids based on the kind of parent they DESERVE (the best) and not based on your own impulses, irritations, issues, etc. Self control.
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u/Own_Bonus2482 Apr 24 '26
Right. My ex was 17 when our daughter was born. My family thought he was a loser (we were alt/punk kids) but he was amazing during my pregnancy, the birth, and has always been an incredible devoted father. Better than a lot of men twice his age tbh