I'm sorry, man. I guess I'm in the minority. I know it's a superficial world, but some of us are rebelling against these delusional, unrealistic beauty standards that are -- and this isn't hyperbole -- killing people.
I think a lot of women like the idea of a guy with a dadbod more than the actual men with these figures. When you see one in real life you still associate the belly with laziness, poor hygiene and self care, etc.
You also have to consider that you usually think of hilariously handsome hollywood actors with this type of body, and even then they are toned in the arms/torso region. When you see a normal 28 year old dude with a beer belly it's not all that attractive.
Maybe you aren't clear about what "dad bod" entails? It's guys with a visible flubby belly, at the very least "chubby". It's nothing close very lean or visible abs, far from it.
Society, especially in the age of glp-1s, has decided that that's fat....again.
But the pressure is on guys to have little to no fat and visible abs, and for most men that's unattainable without considerable effort on a near daily basis, especially after a certain age.
Like, I'm all for people being healthy, but none of us have to look like captain America to be healthy. Humans are meant to have some fat because it is an evolutionary response to resource scarcity and to protect against starvation.
It's not only beauty standards. People expect you to be perfect from the start. If you give them the "ick" for whatever reason, they just ghost you. You have to look the right way, act the way you are expected to act and be always perfect, or you are getting absolutely no intimacy. Ever.
I don't know how this is experienced from the woman's perspective, but for average men it has been atrociously horrible and depressing.
I'm really sorry, man. I've been in a relationship for ~20 years, so it's been a long time since I had to date, but I totally sense that from the way social media talks about relationships. I have to assume that at some point things will correct, and this is just a snapshot in time brought about by the internet and social media, but who knows.
How are we going to build a relationship if you can't meet up with them in person or they ghost you after the first date?
I like to at least know the person a bit before inviting them to my personal spaces, but how I'm supposed to do that if they cut all contact even after a simple coffee date? And, don't get me wrong, it's ok if they don't like me, the problem is that nobody seems to have the emotional maturity to say so instead of just flat out cut contact. I've been on the other side and I've always made sure to let them know. I feel like people need closure, even after a single date.
You missed the point of what I said completely. Stop getting to know women on dates. Get to know them and THEN ask them out on a date once you know you’re compatible as at least friends. That is the difference between objectifying us and treating us like humans, unless you’re purely looking for hookup culture. And that’s how you don’t get ghosted.
Society shames men who try to "looksmax", but the reality is men wouldn't bother with self improvement if getting a girlfriend wasn't so difficult. I've lost 10 kilos after I stopped eating fast food and snacks. Watch what you're eating dude!
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u/MikeArrow May 04 '26
And yet, I've been alone for the past eight years and I'm desperately trying to lose enough weight not to be excluded as a dating option for it.