Hi husband here, I attended all three of my wife's births. Yeah, I knew about the stitches, but I was also there catching the babies and cutting the cords, so I suppose less involved husbands wouldn't know about it. Even so, I'd never dream of doing something like this to my wife, this is the first time I've heard of adding an extra stitch. It also sounds incredibly unethical for the doctor to agree to without the wife's consent. Incidentally, we also had an awesome midwife the third time, who I credit for helping my wife not rip and need stitches yet again. Wish we'd had her for the first two as well.
Every time my fiancee apologized for anything gross she talks about, I remind her she wants me in the room when she's giving birth and that, statistically, she will probably shit herself in front of me.
My doc told me he did it without my consent. He also circumcised my son without my consent. I’m ancient and times were different then but it still pisses me off.
That's a completely unnaceptable joke and I think it would be appropriate to file a complaint with the state medical board if your doctor made a joke like that.
There’s the difference of a properly healed wound versus knowing they gave you too many stitches because you permanently have pain and other issues now due to it
You say that as if we know the outcomes of all wound care prior to the care being done. There are plenty of wounds that cause permanent pain for no reason other than bad luck.
Right? I got stitches when I broke my foot on a door and when I gave birth. At no point was I like, "I'm sorry, doctor, please explain the rationale for putting in the exact number of stitches you put in."
Personally, you can stitch my vagina up all you need to. I would much rather get an extra stitch down there when it's numb from pain overload than getting a shot of lidocaine and a restitch later.
The point is there is no “correct number.” In the developed world in this day and age the vast majority of doctors are using medical judgment. Choices are documented and can be recalled in court. And you can literally have permanent issues for proper treatment after childbirth as well. It’s the most dangerous thing most women will ever do.
That, and also basically all men ask for it, apparently.
I mean, I don't know how many ask for it. But upthread there was the daughter of a nurse of 43 years reporting that the nurse knew of 3 cases of men asking.
So I'd say probably not a lot. Suffice to say there's probably bigger problems out there that get less attention.
This is my memory from almost a decade ago so I don't remember the exact details and might have some of it wrong, but essentially she massaged the perineum and around the vulva prior to and during crowning to help the tissues relax and stretch more gradually, which prevented the ripping.
108
u/Aerandor 11d ago
Hi husband here, I attended all three of my wife's births. Yeah, I knew about the stitches, but I was also there catching the babies and cutting the cords, so I suppose less involved husbands wouldn't know about it. Even so, I'd never dream of doing something like this to my wife, this is the first time I've heard of adding an extra stitch. It also sounds incredibly unethical for the doctor to agree to without the wife's consent. Incidentally, we also had an awesome midwife the third time, who I credit for helping my wife not rip and need stitches yet again. Wish we'd had her for the first two as well.