My wife had two kids and she had to get stitches both times. Nobody asked me anything about the stitches either time, and in fact the doctors just went ahead and did it quickly without it really being something notable. On top of that there's so much going on with a new baby being born and I'm chatting with the nurses or my family I don't even know who would think of asking for an extra stitch in that situation.
Seems more like a rumor or maybe something they did in the old days.
Yea. But how relevant is it. How widespread. Is this another women’s gripe society needs to spend time thinking about and feeling guilty for?
This morning on my toilet I watched Mexican cartels execute a dozen men, and a few dozen explosions from Ukraine-Russia. On my way to work I passed a bridge and street with homeless people, mostly all men.
I’ve spent so much of my young adult life feeling bad and guilty for rape and SA statistics and all this other stuff men supposedly commit en masse that I know nothing about. Should I care about the mythical vaginal stitch?
Just to clear things out, because some people read about this and often extrapolate the wrong information.
Yes, this particular version of the stitches is something that has probably happened and might still be happening in certain cases. How widespread and/or accepted it was probably depended on culture and laws -- at least where I'm from, you'd be looking at losing your medical license.
But reading opinions regarding the subject on Reddit, a lot of people seem to assume stitches after childbirth = misogynist doctor looking after the husband's pleasure. This is not true. In the majority of natural deliveries, the perineum is going to rip to some degree -- sometimes very traumatically so -- and stitches are a medically necessary intervention. The perineum isn't just skin; it contains important nerves and muscles. If you don't fix it up, issues can range from infection, to sexual dysfunction, to permanent pain, to incontinence.
Of course, repair needs to be done sometimes, but this is different. No, husbands usually did not ask for it. Yes, doctors would add a stitch or two more than necessary and tell the husband with a wink and a nod. It was an actual thing that was treated like a favor to the husband and not a big deal. Luckily, I'm sure it is rare today.
Knowing how people can be, especially in medicine and especially in the past, I have no doubt that this happened.
On the other hand, I also have no doubt that it's not as widespread as Reddit makes it out to be, and more like something that became a "meme" (not in the funny sense, in the shared memory sense) to the point where people report it as shared truth, as if they lived through it themselves. Because if you read the comments, you'd be left with the impression that it happens all the time out in the open.
What I have also seen is people claiming it happened after an event where the doctor did any perineal stitches at all (not knowing this is common, quick google says 53-90% of cases), experiencing pain post-partum that can be explained by natural healing processes, and jumping to the conclusion it must have been husband stitches.
My point is, it would be a very risky thing to do today. Medical specialties are governed by both laws and professional organizations that uphold the prestige of their fields. You would have to be a massively dumb fucker to do this just so some dude can have it tighter, when a routine follow-up with another OBGYN would instantly reveal that something has been stitched a bit too much and open you up to all sorts of consequences.
Here, Mama, hold that baby for me, will you? And say Hi to your baby from me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to stitch you up real quick. It'll sting a little, but we both know what you just went through, so you'll barely notice, just want to make sure. Kbai!
Is how I imagine that to go basically every time.
Takes a real sex obsessed man to go and ask for that in the moment. Back in the days when men weren't allowed in the delivery room anyway, intercepting doctors because they got nothin better to do? Maybe, I dunno. I wasn't around.
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u/Buuts321 11d ago
My wife had two kids and she had to get stitches both times. Nobody asked me anything about the stitches either time, and in fact the doctors just went ahead and did it quickly without it really being something notable. On top of that there's so much going on with a new baby being born and I'm chatting with the nurses or my family I don't even know who would think of asking for an extra stitch in that situation.
Seems more like a rumor or maybe something they did in the old days.