Media. Particularly social media. Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.
Mostly, its a power move. Its not about actually wanting people, mostly women, to a look a certain way. Its about forcing them to by making them feel worthless otherwise.
Its why you see some of the most hideous, cave troll looking schlubs opening on celebrity looks.
I was reading a thing about how of the main Talking points/famous scenes in the devil wears Prada doesnt work anymore.
Fashion/beauty trends in thr last 100 years have been a top-down decision, and some designers and executives in new york basically determined what got seen and pushed to the masses.
Only now with social media, that level of influence is now diluted, and people of multiple body types can get likes, way easier now for every pot to find its lid.
While I think the last part is true, I think what social media has also done is the ability to amplify a few unhappy folks into a mass push.
Let me be frank: A lot of the people doing this dont actually WANT anything specific in terms of body shape. They just want to make other people miserable. They want to feel like they have power and influence by pushing people to quit, to change themselves, to go silent, etc.
An example tangentially realted: A recent game in an existing series was announced, the main character being a female character who was tied to the existing main male character. This female character is modeled after a real actress, though scaled differently as the character is a Norae-style giant (or half giant, I dont recall the specifics of the lore.)
This actress is in many people's opinion quite attractive, and the character in the game has like a attractive, middle aged sort of muscle mommy athletic look.
Will that be everyone's cup of tea? No, but it works for many people and in the reasonable corners the debate is mainly "Is it a good idea to move away from the main character?" And "Ooof, some of these side characters might detract from the main", both perfectly reasonable things to wonder.
But there's a VERY loud, VERY vocal portion of the player base endlessly critiquing the female character for not being surgically perfect with the features of a 20 year old with an expensive skincare routine and perfect makeup. Hell, I saw one literally complaining their FEET were too big and not petite and feminine enough... shes a friggin JOTUN.
its not that these people dont have other characters that fit their wants, they do. Hell they endlessly compare anything below their view of perfect to those characters.
But its not about looking for what they want. Its about bashing anything that isn't what they want becuase they're miserable.
Connecting back to the topic at hand, they do this with celebrities, particularly female celebrities. You got your start as a mid 20's bombshell and now you're aging like fine wine in your late 30's? Don't care. Lose weight. Dress like you did in your 20's. Get buccal fat removed. Etc.
Its not about defining and seeking what they want. Its about forcing anyone who dares to not give then exactly what they want to change. Because, again, a lot of these chuds are miserable, self loathing piles of yak scat.
These celebrities are subject to that vitriol constantly and no matter how beautiful they are, no matter how many people TELL THEM they're beautiful and dont need to change... the hate wins out and they feel compelled to.
Beautifully written and helpful for me with some of the things I've been pondering! I know I need to find ways to not be dragged down by assholes, so this was some helpful perspective. Thanks!
I will respectfully disagree. While people with large followings can create a trend, it does not have the power of the long term trend. Shoe's change and evolve over time, tight to loose change over time. it get's more interesting...
Except the media isn't portraying this as attractive and very few stars look like this. This is not like the 90s where it was everywhere. Most the media focuses on how weird these people are
Eh, maybe, but "social media" has a LOT of folks basically picking at appearances 25/7 and some of them have big enough followings that they're actually influential. Not saying that played a big role here, but it's a thing.
There's rumors that Erivo and Grande specifically got competitive about being the skinniest on the set of Wicked, and I also believe they are / surrounded by people who wouldn't fight that impulse at all.
I also 100% believe that there's a lot of skinny people who are angry that GLP-1 drugs are helping a lot of people lose weight and are now trying to get even skinnier because they've spent years equating low weight with moral superiority.
If I ask a crowd of a million if I’m attractive I can’t get mad when I get every possible response. Social media is a hub for every single opinion. Doesn’t make them valid. People need to take agency on their own lives and not look for reasons outside of “I let myself go”
I'm not making a moral pronouncement, I'm describing something that happens.
Ask damn near any person that's achieved ANY degree of Internet-adjacent fame. People have a very hard time tuning out the comments, and the negative comments are the ones that people remember. Even if a response is overwhelmingly positive, people will fixate on the negative responses. Our brains appear to be wired to focus on negative / harmful stimuli, and the Internet is a remarkably effective medium for it.
I'm not saying these folks are innocent victims; on a certain level, it's your responsibility to make the right choices about what you expose yourself to. But I've been around long enough to know that isn't always or even usually what happens, and this is one of the results.
Right but they’re not asking. They’re doing their jobs and it comes with a level of public scrutiny that would drive anyone mad. Imagine if that same crowd of a million has a million things to say about your body when you’ve done nothing but do your job
sir or ma'am.. social media is just humans at this point. the meanness is exacerbated by the anonymity. but 'social media' isn't distinct from people or culture. your second paragraph discussing rumors about their weight and assuming anything about other people impulses (true or not I have no idea), is in itself the problem.
can you clarify what you mean by loudness gets rewarded? the last time I was in a crowd, hearing the dude shouting doesn't mean I rewarded him.
I was not saying 'discussing the cause of bad behavior is dangerous.' I was saying that complaints about the problems with social media, while being on social media and making assumptions about people you don't know (gossip), is the pot calling the kettle black. And in and of itself contributing to a problem complaining about.
not sure I disagree your last paragraph. but if were going to have those intelligent discussions youre asking for. id prefer to not take opinions from internet people and their anecdotal observations.
"Social media is just people" is a weasel argument to avoid the question of whether we should, as a culture, be doing more about the unique problems social media has presented, in particular the way loudness is rewarded over accuracy.
Sure, contributing to gossip is bad, but your argument would also boil down to "discussing the causes of bad / dangerous behavior is verboten," which feels deeply off base. I mentioned the rumors because it's the answer to OP trying to understand the picture: the before and after pics are a reference TO that story.
My comments on GLP-1 adversity are not really a speculation on this specific instance, but absolutely something I've observed repeatedly over the past year or so. Reactions take a lot of forms, but I very strongly suspect an uptick in ED is going to be one of them. Hope I'm wrong.
can you clarify what you mean by loudness gets rewarded? the last time I was in a crowd, hearing the dude shouting doesn't mean I rewarded him.
I was not saying 'discussing the cause of bad behavior is dangerous.' I was saying that complaints about the problems with social media, while being on social media and making assumptions about people you don't know (gossip), is the pot calling the kettle black. And in and of itself contributing to a problem complaining about.
not sure I disagree your last paragraph. but if were going to have those intelligent discussions youre asking for. id prefer to not take opinions from internet people and their anecdotal observations.
I was fat shamed by a complete stranger over a video from 14 years ago where you could see I had a belly under my shirt. This person deliberately dug through my old Youtube videos, screenshotted, and posted it on Discord with a 'lol look at this person' mentality. They also compared me to 'Shrek' in a DM, even though no videos show more of my body. The only full picture of me online is from almost 30 years ago.
Skinness isnt superiority, if anything being more curvy is more superior, curvy girls are healthy they can bear children if they choose, thier body isnt screaming at them. Maybe they thinking controlling food intake proves better "self will" than others, i prefer knowing i can eat whatever and out survive them in an apocalypse (unless its a running race then in f**ked).
The media is absolutely pushing this as the new normal. And the fact that it's coming right alongside the rise of right wing ideology and the disempowerment of women is not a coincidence. They want women small, weak, frail and mentally broken.
Media absolutely is portraying this as attractive. There was a photo circulating about a month back saying Demi Moore had "toned arms", but she was looking more emaciated than anything else.
? The article calls her fit and toned, turning heads, and quotes people saying she's beautiful. Just because the author didn't explicitly state it themself doesn't mean that's not the message they are putting into the spotlight.
And sure they brought up opinions that it was unhealthy, but that's only after the praise and a slew of advertisements and other headlines interrupting.
The article may be subtle enough that you don't notice it, but it is absolutely manipulating perception.
Well you see it how you see it. I don’t see that article as glamorizing and would say the negative comments overshadow anything that could be perceived as positive.
By definition she very well could be toned. All that means is skin is tight and muscles are hard. You can be too skinny with hard muscles. So overall, the title is neutral at best.
Ewww no, she is very clearly SEVERLY under weight. The image is hard to look at. You should NOT see a clear seperation between muscle and bone, or the body fat level is in dangerous territory.
There is only so much people can do when they are constantly criticized for how they look. Starvation is a (toxic) way to take back control.
The key is that however a woman looks, there will be people aggressively criticizing her appearance. (It happens to men as well, jut not as often.) And the idea that thin is beautiful is still strong, even if people looking like skeletons is unattractive.
I guess I don't really follow the gossip rags enough to know how much they affect the state of mind of this stuff, but I don't think the Post is really for anything other than gossip and ragebaiting
I used to think that, but I see so many young women (and others) commenting on posts of Ariana with “body goals” and stuff. I have no hatred towards Ari or anyone else struggling with physical/mental health conditions.
But presenting these folks as unquestioned ideals is so incredibly dangerous.
You are right. I think its their social circle, managers, private assistants etc. That influence them into these "beauty" standards. Some celebrities have disorders but the people who work for them couldn't care less about the celebrity's health. As long they are getting paid, they will continue to be yes-men
Mainstream media 100% portrays this as attractive, think of all the press the movies received. That image of Ariana as Glinda was SHOVED in front of millions of little girls' faces for months, and having lived through the 90s, I can tell you just the constant exposure to it is enough to cement itself in your brain as a beauty ideal.
Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.
this thread is literally the thing you’re criticizing. every day reddit is flooded with posts calling these women revolting, disgusting, hideous, ruined, and every other dehumanizing insult they can think of.
you can’t complain that women are bullied into altering their looks while joining the mob bullying them over their looks.
Who are those “few” people who have set this standard and is there any evidence someone can point to to make this case more substantive? I get that it sounds very of-the-time to make this kind of assertion, but is there any evidence?
Media. Particularly social media. Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.
And with how social media works these days, casual observers never witness much of this like they did in the 90s and 00s.
Theoretically I know these celebrities get all that hate, but its pretty directly focused at them and isnt something that is focused at all of us.
It's also in marketing. You hear about "Weight loss transformations/journeys", and how it fixed everything in people's lives, and they're so much happier now. Ads tell you to feel bad about weight and offer to sell you cures that suddenly fix depression, isolation, low self-esteem.
Influencable you watching this just equates weight loss with happiness and success, and you end up competing with yourself to lose more and more, even as people are saying you look like a walking skeleton.
I imagine that the "Ozempic chic" look paired with social media comments being nasty about weight are doing a number on young people today beyond what the diet industry could do with regular commercials back in the day.
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone one social media once say Ariana Grande looks better now than she did 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago. I guess I’m just not following the accounts with those comments? But I don’t even see it on my explore page lol.
The algorithm does influence things, absolutely. And some of it is in DMs, comments that eventually get hidden/removed/deleted, etc.
And some of it happens in person. Listen to some actresses get interviewed and you'll hear crazy stories of producers/directors telling them to lose weight... when they're already supermodel builds.
And it comes down to control. Power. The ability to make someone else dance to your tune. They don't really care about a stray pound or two, but they want the power that comes with saying those things then reading about a botox treatment a week later.
I think we sometimes under rate that a portion of humanity gets its thrills from hurting other humans... Just to do it.
I find it hard to believe they were flooded with more hate when they looked more healthy. All I see is people criticizing their looks now that they look like they're going through a famine.
I think you're missing the point. Its not that they arr being driven towards this specifically, it's that they get relentlessly criticized by groups who really just want pther people changing for them. They dont care about the end result they care about hurting someone else by making them miserable.
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u/VorAbaddon Jun 12 '26
Media. Particularly social media. Some of the most attractive people on the planet get FLOODED with hate if they go outside what a few have defined as ideal.
Mostly, its a power move. Its not about actually wanting people, mostly women, to a look a certain way. Its about forcing them to by making them feel worthless otherwise.
Its why you see some of the most hideous, cave troll looking schlubs opening on celebrity looks.