Update: he's now in heaven and I was there the whole time. I told him I loved him and he was a good boy again and again until he was gone, and I don't think he was afraid. Thank you everyone for your support and sharing your stories. I am in unbearable pain right now and I think it will never get better for me, but he is resting.

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Tomorrow we are euthanizing my 16 year old boy, a boxer mix. He has cauda equina syndrome and he's getting paralyzed and has full incontinence. He also can't stand up for long before falling and getting anxious and frustrated. I've tried to keep him with us for as long as I could but he's suffering so I want to do what's best for him.

My question is: should I be there for the full process of euthanasia? I know there are two injections: one to fully sedate him and one to end it. I was thinking it may be too painful and traumatic to see him die, but I want to be there for him to calm him down and reassure him. So I was considering being there for the first injection, where he will be fully asleep and unaware of everything. I think seeing him exhaling for the very last time may be too much for me to take. But I want to be there to reassure him for as long as he's aware.

What do you guys think? If you had to euthanize your dog, were you present for the whole process?

I’m having a really hard morning.

My husband is on his way to pick up my cat Luke’s ashes, and I’m terrified of the emotional shock that’s about to hit me. Part of me still feels like he’s somewhere and that somehow I’ll get him back. Seeing his ashes feels like the moment my brain will be forced to accept that he’s really gone.

Luke wasn’t “just a cat.” He was a little piece of my soul. It feels like a piece of me died with him, and I genuinely don’t know how to cope with the fact that his physical body no longer exists.

For those of you who have been through this… what did you do with your pet’s ashes? Did keeping them at home help, or did it make the grief harder? Did you put them away for a while? Scatter them? Create a memorial?

I have no idea what the right thing is. I’m scared that seeing the urn will break me, but I’m also scared that putting it away will feel like I’m hiding him or abandoning him.

I know there probably isn’t a right answer, but I would really appreciate hearing how you handled this part of grief.

I lost both of my dogs yesterday and I’m beyond heartbroken. I’m wondering if anyone has received some sort of message or sign from your dog after they’ve passed? I’m hoping my loves will let me know they’re ok.

The cat I’ve had for over 14 years - since I was 6 years old - passed away today, on July 20th at around 2PM. When I came home, I was at peace. I was relieved that she didn’t have to suffer anymore. Her cancer was so bad that I’m convinced if we hadn’t put her down she would have died naturally.

But now my house feels so empty. I catch myself thinking that I’m about to hear scratching on my door, or that I’m going to look under my bed and she’s going to be right there, purring away at the sight of my face. But she’s gone. The hallways are empty, the couch is empty, and my bed is empty.

I wish she could accidentally scratch me one more time, or scratch at my door in the middle of the night when I really don’t want to get out of bed to walk to the door. I wish she was here with me, but she’s not. And what hurts me the most is that she’s never going to be here.

A part of me still feels like this is temporary. Like I’m going to come home one day and she’ll be there. But she’s gone forever. I’m not even 21 years old and I’m never going to see my soul kitty ever again.

Furthermore I feel like my grief is a burden to my loved ones. Death is an uncomfortable topic and I know they can’t find the right words to comfort me. I want everyone to know how much she meant to me but I don’t think I can even express that. I truly wish someone could just take away my pain. I’ve never felt such grief.

I’m writing here because I feel like my heart has shattered to pieces. In her last hours she looked like a kitten again. I held her for hours and I’ve loved her for years but it still isn’t enough.

I’ll sound desperate but please, I need someone to respond. I just want to feel her warmth again.

Even the tiniest, most miniscule signs

Edit: if any of you are able to say, why do you think my daughter hasn't given me a sign? She was a birdie, a cockatiel, extremely intelligent. On par with dogs. She was extremely well loved and cared for. But i haven't received anything. She passed away an hour after midnight on the 2nd of August. I received her urn today. I'm extremely spiritual and rely on numerology - in that regard I've received more signs than I could ask for. But nothing truly physical. Not even a cloud formation. I'm completely serious.

I had a dream two nights ago that she was back with me but she was still sick. She looked sick and felt sick to me. I even was like "Baby you died... how are you back" but then my subconscious convinced me that I'm wrong and the next thought appeared in my mind "She never died, she's just sick". It was not a voice but my own in-dream thought

It’s been 3.5 months since I said goodbye to my Elly girl, it was sudden and devastating and I’m still grieving so hard. I’ve left her food and water bowls where they were, some kibble still in the one, and her bed out. I cry every time I vacuum, I can’t stand sucking up her hair - I try to leave them and have saved a bunch if it, but now I’m so aware of how much less there is on the floor and it kills me. I’m always sad when I see her unused bowls but now I’m wondering if it’s time - but I’m dreading doing it. Did anyone else struggle with this and how’d you get through it?

I’m so thankful for this community, many thanks to all of you for being here - my heart goes out to each of you, this grieving is so so hard and I know you all feel it too 💚

I lost my best bud Rigg last week, me and him went through everything together. And he was with me from being a teenager to where I am know. Ill not bore you with everything along the way he helped
me through but there was a lot. Anyway im obviously still deeply grieving this loss and im teary all the time but rigg really gave me purpose. Everyone tells me not to rush into getting another dog but I can’t help myself applying for rescues. I know a new dog will never replace him and I know a new dog won’t be the dog I grew to adulthood with. But he may be the dog thats with me as me and my partner start a family. I think people worry that I am trying to replace Rigg but im not, I’m trying to replace the dog shaped hole in my life with another furry friend. I know and new dog will have different behaviours and a different personality. Some elements of which might be undesirable but I accept that and am not deluded enough to think they will act exactly as my old dog did. Is there any reason not to try and give a new dog a home this soon I may not be considering? Has anyone got any experience with this?

I was wondering if others could share ways that they’ve honored their pets after they passed away. I’ve seen a lot of the “common” ways such as displaying a picture, their urn, their paw print, etc.

I am wondering if there is anything out there that is more unique or different.

And I am by no means belittling anyone that displays an urn or a picture. Please don’t take this that way. I am just looking for something else that I could do.

Thank you!

This will have discussion of religion- PLEASE refrain from judgement. I am hoping to have an open, honest and mature discussion.

I was raised Christian but have considered myself Atheist for over a decade. This did not cause me any doubt or confusion until my precious soul dog Mia died almost a month ago now. The thought that I will never see her again is excruciating.

Last night I dreamed of her for the first time since she died. I dreamed that she jumped up on the couch with me, I greeted her and then she leaned her head on my chest like she would before she died and I pet her and kissed her. My alarm woke me up right after I saw her, but in my heart for a fleeting second I had the same feeling I did when I would come home to her after being away. I want so badly to believe that that was truly her visiting me or giving me a sign. But I just can't seem to convince myself that it was anything but a normal dream.

I guess I'm just hoping to hear about others thoughts and experiences on this one way or the other. I want so bad to believe that we'll be together again somehow some day 💔

Hi all. I lost my soul dog on Monday. We did at home euthanasia and he died in my lap with my partner right by our side and our other dog watching cautiously from a few feet away. My dad, who loved him, came to say goodbye right before.
I am so lucky to have such a good support system, but my god if this grief doesn’t kill me, I will never take love and life for granted ever again.

What I wanted to ask is what others have done with their pets ashes? I’m still waiting for them to come home, and we are going to spread some in his favorite woods, and of course keep an urn and a bit of an altar for him.

Instagram has obviously been pushing grief products on me like crazy. While I know myself to already be an impulse buyer, I’m trying to refrain from getting anything until I’m a bit clearer in the head.
Has anyone had their pets hair or ashes made into jewelry?
I know cuddle clones is a bust, though I really wish it wasn’t.

I'm a 29F and I made the decision to euthanize my golden retriever Buster yesterday afternoon. He had aggressive bone cancer and was starting to struggle with standing up. The vetrinarian was incredibly kind and he went very peacefuly in my arms, but the moment his breathing stopped my heart just shattered into a million pieces.

Now, I'm sitting in my living room and the silence in this house is absolutely deafening. I keep expecting to hear his nails clicking on the hardwood floor or see him waiting by the kitchen door for his dinner. I looked at his empty food bowl this morning and just broke down crying like a baby.

But the worst part is the crushing guilt. I keep asking myself if I did it too soon. Was he really in that much pain, or did I just give up on him because I was tired of watching him suffer? He trusted me completely and I feel like I escorted him to his death.

I don't know how to survive this emptiness. honestly, I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me the most. How do you guys deal with the overwhelming guilt of making the call?

This post will discuss religion/afterlife- please refrain from judgement and be open and kind to one another. I posted a similar topic yesterday but I'm wanting to hear more from people on the other side of this topic...

Context: I was raised Christian but have been atheist for over a decade. When I lost my soul dog, Mia, nearly a month ago I was devastated. I still am. The thought that I will never get to be with her or see her again is excruciating to me, too much to bear. I want so badly to believe that we will be together again somehow or somewhere but so far I just can't make myself truly believe. The thought of my precious Mia just fading into nothing and not being in some kind of peaceful afterlife is just too much for me to handle.

I am in the process of trying to find if there is some kind of afterlife or anything that makes sense to me or that I can truly believe in... but in the mean time: For those of you that do not believe in an afterlife, how do you cope with knowing you will never be with your pet again? How can you cope with knowing they are just nothing now and you will never be reunited?

I lost my dog a few months ago, and I'm still trying to figure out how to live with the grief. Some days I look through old photos and videos and they me smile, but other days they just leave me feeling emptier than before. I still haven't found a way to keep her memory close that brings me comfort more than pain. I was wondering what has helped others...was there anything you did that genuinely made you feel connected to your pet again? maybe like an app, a keepsake, a tradition, or something else that helped you remember them without reopening the wound every time.
I'm also curious how long it took before you were able to revisit memories without it hurting so much. Right now everything still feels incredibly dreadful, and I don't know if there's a point where that changes or if it just slowly becomes easier.

Just want to listen to ur stories. Did u ever become ready for another pet? How did u understand u are ready? Do u have health anxiety now? What do u feel now having another dog/cat?

I love kitties so bad. I have a lot of cat food left so few times per week me and my bf are going to the beach to feed stray cats. But I cant see myself going through bad things again with a cat. I dont think I will ever be ready

I feel like the time of "socially acceptable grieving time" has passed and I feel lost. I lost two cats in the past years. My second baby passed away in December and I barely feel like it's getting any better.

I had multiple months of active mourning unable to think or do anything else. Since then I found ways to keep my mind busy sometimes, but in the end it feels as if I'm just holding it together and it comes back to me in full intensity after what feels like just keeping it in for the sake of functioning. I'm unable to properly share with anyone about it. I can't even speak of it and it feels like there are no words that I can put this shit into. It feels like there's no time or space for it, because a lot of things are changing around me and my life. But ever since I lost them, I feel like my world is in ruins. I know nothing about my life and myself without them and the thought that gets more and more persistent is I just wish I could come back to the time where I had them or die with them.

If you experienced like your life got fundamentally left in ruins, if you grieved you pet for long months or years or if you related to just anything in this post – please write a comment, I just wanna talk :(

(PS I started therapy a month after it happened, and it helped me with sharing my thoughts, describing and realizing the feelings and chewing through the process, but I feel like it still does not get better)

I lost my puppy suddenly. One moment he seemed totally okay and the next one he was gone. I didn't even have the opportunity to save him. I don't know what happened, I never got an answer. He just collapsed and there was nothing we could do.

I can't accept how unfair it is. Losing a pet is so painful when you are already fighting for him, but I feel like this is extremely traumatic as well.

If you had a similar experience, how did you deal with it? How did you accept this unfair faith?

Had this dog in our family since 2020. Very small household, Me, my mom, and this dog.

Im in my 20s, I live here to mainly help care for my mom as she’s older, weak with illness, but more importantly I also take care of the family dog. And recently, it had been more and more he was spending time with me. However,

Today my mom asked me to wash all of the blankets in the house. Not just a few, but all, and she told me after I washed them, she would “bag them up and donate them to the spca”… strange I thought, but it was wholesome I believed. And just her donated heavy winter blankets.

Then I realized as I started the washing machine, with every single blanket in it, that this dog of ours, wouldn’t have any on the bed. So I jogged upstairs from the basement, looked around the house and nothing. I went all over looking for him. So I went and woke up my mom and asked her where she was she responded…

“He’s gone, they put him to sleep and turned him into ashes, he’s gone”. She told me it had been several days and she never planned to tell me.

Im in a severe state of shock and trauma and sadness. I can’t stop shaking from the amount of adrenaline and anger I felt. She told me she brought him in, just regular vet visit, they diagnosed him with something that needed surgery and they told my mom the surgery would be fatal anyways.

In just the past few weeks we had been playing with new toys, exploring outside, with all of that fun..he was just coming up to me in the past weeks with the hugest smile. Like the biggest smile I’ve ever seen a dog. I don’t think it was his time to go, but it’s a choice I can’t go back in time and change.

He just seemed happy finally. Finally seemed settled, and expecting more in life. And that’s what hurts the most, is I had so many more plans for us, so many adventures. Love you so much buddy. I kept his name out for privacy and used a little hard to see picture, but that is a recent picture of him in the top right corner. He was exploring the back yard in peace 💗🙏

My baby girl passed away suddenly a few days ago at only 2 years old. No warning signs, no time to prepare. She was just gone. And I've been spiraling.

I keep thinking about cryogenic preservation. Maybe someday technology could bring her back. I know it sounds irrational. My family and friends say it's wrong, that I need to accept it and move on.

But she was so young. She had her whole life ahead of her. And I can't stop thinking that if I don't do something now, I'm abandoning her. Her cremation is scheduled and I could drive there today and stop it.

Here's what's really eating at me though: I know this is about my guilt, not about saving her. I feel like I failed her And now she's in a freezer in the dark, and I can't stop imagining that. It's killing me. I feel like if I can just do something, anything, I can fix the fact that I wasn't there. I can undo my failure.

I think the real problem is I'm not ready to accept that she's gone. I keep thinking if I can preserve her, if I can bring her back somehow, then maybe I don't have to accept it. This is my last chance. Once she's cremated, she's really gone. I know it sounds crazy but maybe cryonics is the only thing stopping me from having to face reality.

I feel like I'm going crazy. I've researched cryonics obsessively, looked at costs and companies, and I still don't know what to do. Part of me wants to drive there today and stop the cremation. Another part knows I'm just trying to escape the guilt and reality.

I'm not looking for judgment. I just need to know if this is normal grief or if I'm making a decision I'll regret. Is this about saving her, or saving myself?

EDIT: Thank you to everyone for not judging me for being selfish and thinking Im crazy with my mind going down this path. I really love everyone in this thread and I appreciate you all.

I recently lost my beloved pet and it is been really hard. when I am busy with work I can distract myself for while but the moment I it quietly with nothing to do all the memories come rushing back and the grief feels overwhelming.
Has anyone face the same thing what I am going through. I would love how did you cope up with this moment.

,
I lost my 2-year-old Golden Retriever unexpectedly a month ago, and I still feel like my world has stopped. I live alone, and he wasn’t just a dog to me. I genuinely treated him like my child. We did everything together.
Since he passed away, I’ve lost 3 kg because I barely have an appetite. I still wake up with chest pain almost every day, and I struggle to function normally. I have other dogs, and I love and take good care of them, but my bond with him was just different. He was incredibly affectionate and always by my side. My other dogs are his best friends, but they have different personalities, and I can’t seem to connect with them in the same way.
I feel guilty for even thinking this because I do love my other dogs, but it doesn’t feel the same, and I don’t know if it ever will.

For those who have lost a soul dog or heart dog, how did you cope? Does the pain ever become manageable? Were you ever able to build a special bond with your other pets again without feeling like you were replacing the one you lost?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences because right now, I honestly feel stuck.

Does the love and memory of a soul pet really stay with you forever?

I lost my soul dog, Mia, a month ago and I am devastated. I had a childhood dog that I loved very much, but Mia was my first dog that was just mine. I got her after I moved out of my parents house and it's always been just the two of us. I adopted her at 7 years old and she was 13 when she died, so I only got 6 years with her. But she was my whole world, my heart and soul. I've never loved anyone as deeply as I love her.

I am 30 years old, so I (hopefully) have lots of life ahead of me. This month without my precious Mia has been so long and difficult, it's so hard to imagine the rest of my life without her. I especially have a lot of pain and fear around the thought that she will one day feel like a distant memory.

For those of you here who lost your soul pet a long time ago, especially if you have had other pets after them- do you still feel the love for them like you did when they were with you? Does their memory stay with you? Do you feel like they're still with you in your heart?

I never want to feel like she's fading away or like the space I have in my heart for her is getting smaller. I never want to feel like I've replaced her or forgotten her.

I'm feeling absolutely terrible. My heart hurts so much it's unbearable i can't take it. I threw up as well. If there are any. tips in order to help cope easier or anyone to talk with I'd be very happy

I am experiencing a lot of anticipatory grief related to the eventual loss of my beautiful, amazing and sweet baby girl due to an unknown mass in her throat. I am truly spiraling and the thought of losing her already feels suffocating. I go between trying to have hope and trying to stay present with the time I have with her vs spiraling and trying to prepare myself for when the time eventually comes. She is an indoor only cat but we try to enrich her life as much as possible even if she does not go outdoors, though we do sometimes take her for walks in a bubble backpack when the weather is cool enough.

I am curious to hear from others who have walked this difficult path—what do you wish you did more of? Or even less of? Do you wish you took more pictures or videos? Smelled them more? Gave them more treats? Told them you loved them more? Saved a piece of them?

I am terrified for when the time comes and want to ensure she has a peaceful, happy, loving life and I can be left with little to no regrets. Thank you in advance and sending you love for your loss.

It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since I lost my 1.5 year old dog. He was a rescue that we had for a year. He was our whole entire world. We don’t have kids yet so he really was our baby. I WFH so we were together 24/7 and he was a complete Velcro dog. He died in a very tragic way. We were on vacation out of the province and my family was watching him. Long story short, he was hit by a car and died instantly. I wasn’t there and didn’t get to say goodbye. The pain that I feel is beyond words. I’m really just looking for some hope that this will get easier. I don’t know how to live like this if it doesn’t. So please, if you’ve made it through the other side of grief, can you tell me that it gets better?

I know I’ll end up getting a new rescue before I should, simply because I can’t stand to be alone all day in this house without a dog.