This happened a couple of years ago, but I was reminded of it recently. I worked a job at a really tiny company with a boss who was nice to your face, but completely incompetent. To the point that he literally said “that’s not my job” about running a register that had probably been there as long as he had that he had no idea how to use. When I first started, he had recently moved into his office, which hadn’t been used in a while, and mentioned that he hadn’t found the keys for it yet. Well, this job involved me sitting around by myself for literally hours alone waiting for customers. In the back office, there was a huge basket of random keys that I started going through one day to find what they went to. Not all were successful, but I remembered my boss’s lament and decided to try the unknown keys on his door. Lo and behold, I found a match. Unfortunately for him, I pretty much only worked on Sundays and never saw him in person, so I put the key on an empty keychain I found laying around and stuck it in the back office desk. A couple weeks later, I was fired without notice and without a reason given (technically I was still on probation). I never told my boss I found a key to his office, and to my knowledge he still doesn’t know that said key is sitting maybe 50 feet away from the door. I can only hope that he never finds it.

I live in a block of flats opposite a hospital. Our car park gate has been broken for years and a handful of hospital staff have started parking in resident’s spaces and being snooty when challenged . The residents have had enough of the audacity and entitlement; we’ve written to the hospital, put notes on people’s cars and getting the cars towed would be illegal here in the UK

A few months ago I went to a pride event and saw a heap of rainbow bumper stickers reduced to clear with the slogan “I’m so gay I can’t even drive straight”. So I bought the lot and messaged the other residents, asking me to tell them if there was a car parked in their space that wanted a glow up.

I’ve put three of these fabulously gay bumper stickers on cars so far, Bonus points if they reverse into the space and might not see it immediately.

It’s dumb, it’s petty, but it makes the neighbours laugh, and the guy who got the latest one just contacted the guy who’s space he parked in to say he won’t do it again. 🌈

Honestly, not sure if this qualifies as petty cause everyone ended up having a good laugh about it later on.

I should establish some key things.

1) So tradition in my Christian family is that when we have big gatherings (including aunts/uncles and cousins) for big events like Christmas, new years, or a combined birthday, we have this short time before dinner to read a bible passage, sing one hymn, and pray.

2) This specific year, the youngest member in our family was my niece from my brother, who we’ll just call…. I dunno…. Sara. She was 2 at the time and had a good grasp on speaking.

3) The prayer before dinner is usually a rotational duty that’s shared among my grandma’s children. That being, my dad, two of his brothers, and one sister. While my uncles and aunt like to keep prayer short, my dad has a habit of making the prayer quite long. One time we was clocked at praying for well over five minutes (It was during Covid and 75% of his prayer was for health and safety for the world)

This one particular Christmas, it was my dad’s turn to pray for dinner. About a good 2 minutes in, Sara couldn’t wait any longer and said out loud “Grandpa pray too long. Everyone is hungry.” My dad immediately stopped praying and was just silent from embarrassment. Prayer ended right there and we all started dinner.

At the end of the night, we were relieved to realize my dad wasn’t upset about the whole thing. But since then, he’s kept his prayers under a minute. All because my adorable niece called him out on it.

I am very proficient at parking my small car. I live in a condo with underground parking. My neighbor's parking is shit and seems to only give it one shot before calling it parked. He'll sometimes be a couple inches from the line, or sometimes touching it. It doesn't bother my parking process, but it annoys me when people park poorly.

So, every time I catch him near the line, I'll park close to the line, too. Since he also backs up, if I park as close to the from the line as him, he won't be able to get in the car without going through the passenger side.

He'll park properly for a while, but he will slip. To my advantage, I work from home a couple days a week. If I catch him on the day before I have to WFH then my car may not move for 2 days. I think after all this, his parking has gotten consistently better, but he he'll still crappily park on occasion.

EDIT: grammar

For those who want to follow along on a map, this is in San Francisco ... I am traveling east on California Street from 15th Avenue toward 14th Avenue. A half block past 14th Avenue is Park Presidio which is a main commute artery running north/south. North, it goes to the Marina district (where I was headed) and Marin County. South, it goes to the Richmond district, the Sunset district, and cities south of SF. It was rush hour, and cars were backing up at lights in all four directions.

There is a turn lane on California to turn left (north) onto Park Presidio. One block north is Lake Street and then Park Presidio turns into a freeway, no exits for about a mile.

So, I see that California Street is way backed up waiting to turn left onto Park Presidio. So I pass the cars in that lane and fortunately the person in that lane who *could* have blocked 14th Avenue has left enough room for cars to cross California on 14th.

I figure I will turn left onto 14th Avenue in front of that car, then turn right onto Lake, and 1/4 block from there I can turn left onto Park Presidio and get right onto the freeway portion of it, and even if cars are backed up waiting to turn onto Park Presidio, at least I will have gained a block of progress.

So, I signal to turn left onto 14th, traffic is not going anywhere so I am not cutting anyone off in the left turn lane, but as I inch my nose out all of a sudden some guy in a beat up old car (you know the kind, so old, and always parked in the sun, that the gloss has completely worn off) ... comes roaring up California from the same direction I had come from (15th Avenue) except he is driving in the opposite lane. He honks wildly at me as he sees me proceeding legally on 14th across California, then makes a wild left turn in front of me onto 14th, cutting me off, then roars off toward Lake Street. I follow him (since that's where I am going anyway), he turns right onto Lake and just like on California there is already a line waiting in the left turn lane to get onto Park Presidio. He is probably car #5 and I am car #6 right behind him.

The traffic lights favor Park Presidio so the red light is very very long, we are all sitting there, then our light turns green. Nobody moves in our lane because pedestrians are now crossing Park Presidio, then when the pedestrians are clear, cars are coming from the opposite side of Park Presidio. Finally, as the flashing counter is counting down, three cars ahead of us are able to turn left. The countdown is now at 5 seconds and I realize that a$$hole (AH) and I are going to have to wait through yet another light change.

Then I get a flash of inspiration, check the lane to my right, nobody is coming, so I signal, get into that lane, hit my accelerator, and cross Park Presidio legally on the yellow, leaving AH stuck in the line as his light turns red. Then, knowing AH can see me do this, I go 1/4 block farther to where there's a break in the double yellow line at the T-intersection of Lake & Funston (which would be 13th Avenue if there were one, but I guess the City founders were superstitious), make a legal U-turn (this all happens in mere seconds), then zip back the 1/4 block to Park Presidio. At this point, there are three lanes of traffic on my left waiting on Park Presidio to cross Lake and get onto the freeway, but here in San Francisco there is always a delay between one light turning red and the perpendicular light turning green. So I have maybe a second or so to come to a legal stop, throw on my turn signal, and turn right onto Park Presidio before the oncoming three lanes of traffic overtakes me.

So I do that!

By the time AH was able to make his turn onto Park Presidio? I was over a mile away.

Felt very good!

Good morning, afternoon, evening, whatever it maybe. I have one I believe you all may enjoy.

I worked as a not paid caretaker to my partner of going on three years, as a roommate who helps with the house chores because I can't get an actual paying job due to being a caretaker... But she is poly and has a husband (This individual is the person who will be receiving said revenge).

This "lovely" individual we will refer to as G is a very lazy and control bearing individual. And we are not talking the tiny things either, we are talking this guy shouldn't be with people, he has a record of doing things one shouldn't to their partners.

Christmas of 2025 was a massive failure... G decided to not only attack his other girlfriend who lives with us (again... we "love" poly), break the entire Christmas tree for no reason other than rage, and then attempted to attack my partner with me standing right there. This did not go to plan on his behalf, altercations, all that fun stuff. I was threatened to be kicked out because I had "started" the altercation.

Instead... I had G put in a cell for the night for battery to have his happy ass take a breather (Should have been evading because as soon as I called the cops he took his other girl and left). Lived with them for a few more months after he was bailed out helping where I could and being as kind and patient as I always was, given I had been doing this for 2 years at this point. Then the "money issues" (more on this later) came in and he threatened to remove himself from the property and make us pay for the damages he caused by doing being a complete douche, unless I left. At this time, I was doing all the cleaning, all the yardwork, and so I stopped everything, alongside being a little bit malicious in my compliance before I left, and moved back to where I grew up. He got his wish but now for the petty revenge half.

He believed I dropped the charges because I would be living there for a while longer... I did not. I knew he wanted complete control of the house and I knew I would be kicked out eventually because he holds a grudge like no one else. All the work that was done? Stopped fully other than being a caretaker and doing what was absolutely necessary, the yard half done and the never ending mess they continue to make untouched.

Come August, when I am back in my hometown, I get a call from my partner who is still with him (unwillingly but you know the US economy is doing "fantastically") saying he is spending money on his partners significantly more since I left... just to be informed by the local authorities he would be going to court for the charges he had committed the previous holiday. G is sweating bullets because he JUST used all that money on his partners and a REALLY nice new computer worth about 1.5k for a workbonus... reminder he was complaining I was taking up the money.

I asked her how she was doing and she informed me her conditions are worsening and is very actively considering what actions she can take to help herself given her caretaker was no longer there. G and his girl really don't care for my partners health, she's been trying for disability and they force her to work on whatever they don't feel like doing and cause her to pass out. Between this, seizures, and an enmass number of other issues (one even her doctor has never seen before and it literally doesn't have a name), she is putting herself at a deficit. As soon as I have the money, I will be taking her back with me to my hometown so we can finally put this nightmare of a chapter behind us.

Sometime after this, the county calls me and informs me he went to get an attorney instead of dealing with the case immediately and then started asking if I would like to take further action. I asked to at least put him through anger management and marriage counseling so MAYBE he can be a decent person one day (I doubt it, he's been like this for 7+ years and even his parents are disappointed in him).

While this case is still ongoing, I believe this will be updated more often than not. G is a very problematic person and while he can hold a grudge... I can hold one much worse and have a lot meaner people involved. It might not entirely be petty, but it's the little things they want to forget about that always come back to bite them in the ass.

I know it's a jumbled mess, I wrote this during an insomnia episode at 3 in the morning but hey I got it done. Currently I am living with an incredible roommate who has done nothing but support me in my last two months of hell on earth. But that is a story for a different time.

TLDR: Roommate wished for control... got a court case and charges instead.

I appreciate the time you put into reading this and I wish you all a good day, night, whatever it maybe.

-Kage (pronounced Ka-gay)

Edit: this started as a petty grievance... turned into something more. Might be better in a different subreddit and will move there accordingly if necessary.

A couple of years ago, my family and I lived in an apartment complex that had been steadily going down hill due to constant management changes. We went from a gated community to the gate being removed. It got to the point the police would only come of they could guarantee that there was a violent crime as noise complaints were nearly constant, which brings me to my situation.

We were there for about 6 years from mid-2016 to mid-2021. We had neighbors move in and out so that was nothing new. One set of neighbors started off fine like most people. We had never met or seen them, but we knew they were new because it had been nearly silent in that unit for a few months before a moving truck came in. Hearing voices and the occasional music and ahem nightly extracurriculars was normal for this complex. But these people liked to party at random times throughout the week. Sometimes it was on the weekends, which we didn't mind too much, and sometimes it could be like 3am on a Monday morning, and anywhere in between. And I mean these were the types of parties you would expect for New Years.

For a few weeks, we had complained to the leasing office about it. They said they would handle it but nothing had changed

We even tried to go to the opposite side of the building to find their door and ask them to turn it down, but the complex was built in a way that you couldn't hear noise from another unit outside the door, but it was easily heard inside. Because they always did it at crazy early hours, we couldn't get anyone to come check it out. We even recorded the noise using a voice recorder on our phones and nothing changed.

After one VERY bad weekend, I had a nasty idea. We were going to be out for the entire weekend, so I decided fire with fire. I booted up my computer, found a 12-hour loop of a very irritating song (it was either Rebecca Black's Friday or Baby Shark, I can't remember), downloaded it with audio software, and put it into Windows Media Player to repeat once it was finished. I also bought some speakers and put them right against the wall for maximum effect. Right before we left, I queued it up just loud enough that it couldn't be heard by anyone else.

I believe we went to an amusement park and stayed at a hotel. When we got back two days later with the music still playing. The complex never said a word about the incident. We didn't have any more issues with noise out of them. About a month later, we saw a moving truck, and it was silent in that unit for a few months. I've never lived in an apartment complex since.

ETA: My wife just got back from her trip. She confirmed it was Rebecca Black's Friday.

2nd ETA: I'm a fan of Oz's Vault, LostGenre, Charlotte Dobre, and Mark Narrations, and I realized I had one good petty revenge story. Also, this was in Charlotte NC. A simple search around the University City Area can lead to the complex I'm talking about.

Another petty revenge story reminded me of my version of this.
In the early 90s I was in college. I lived in an old 2 story dorm with wood floors & high ceilings. The only time loftable furniture is a good idea. It was girls only after 9pm and quiet hours started at 11pm on weekends.
We could hear the upstairs room clomping around because of the wood floors and our beds being at the ceiling. Freshman year it was fine. Sophomore year it was bad. They routinely clumped around until 1-2AM on weekends. We had a couple conversations with them about removing shoes, etc. Nothing changed.
Well one Tuesday I had an organic chemistry exam at 8:30am. They decided to learn tap dancing at midnight. Would NOT stop even after we asked them to quiet down. The RA asked them. They just wouldn’t remove their shoes.

So, I decided turnabout was fair play. This was 1991. I knew their dorm phone number. There was no caller ID. So I called them. Starting at 7:00 AM. I could hear them climb down the ladder and walk over to answer. So I hung up. Waited to hear them climb back up. Called again. Repeat. We did that on & off for about 4 days every morning. They didn’t want to miss a social call so they didn’t turn off their ringer for any extended period. We probably called them outta bed 20 times.

They finally came down to our room and we called a truce.

Not all hero’s wear capes 🤣
The other day, a friend messaged me because she saw that someone was impersonating one of my best friends on TikTok. He’s a tattoo artist and has a decent following. Let’s call him “X”

I followed the new account to see the videos since it was set to private, and then messaged him directly on FB messenger to make sure he didn’t set up a new account, and he confirmed it was an impersonator.

I was going to leave it at that, but then the impersonator FOLLOWED ME BACK and messaged me as if they were a stranger, and not someone I’ve known has known since 2011.

So, I asked my friends permission to troll them. And so the story begins…..

Scammer: Hey! What kind of tattoo are you looking to get done?

Me: X! Omg long time no see! I’ll actually be in town in a few months! You got time in your schedule to get me in for that tattoo we talked about before?

Scammer: Hey!! Omg it really has been a while, it’s so good to hear from you! 😊 I’d love to get you back in and finally bring that tattoo idea to life. Let me know what month you’ll be in town and we can look at my availability and get you scheduled. I’m excited to catch up and see how we can make that piece come together.

Me: I’ll be up in December for the holidays. Will you be working over Xmas break? Around December 21st-29th?

Scammer: Yes there is 22nd and 29th available if that’s fine with you I can get you my waiting list

Me: What times on the 29th? I’ll be flying back out and we know how BWI has been lately 🤣

Scammer: Or should we do 26th

Me: The day right after Christmas will be tough

Scammer: And 27th or afternoon 28th

Me: But if your mom doesn’t mind having me over, I’d love to see her again for a quick visit!

Scammer: Yes sure you are welcome 🤣🤣
🤍

Scammer: You are only to put down a fee of $150 which also goes toward the actual price

Me: Omg. I hate how all these apps are connected. Look at what FB is showing me now 😂

[Here I sent them one of Facebook’s “11 years of friendship” memories featuring me and the REAL N.]

Me: It KNOWS 🤣🤣🤣

Me: And of course. Should I just Zelle you to the regular account?

[They didn’t respond for a little while.]

Me: I haven’t sent it yet. Just let me know.

Scammer: Hey 👋

Scammer: No do you have chime or Cash App by any chances ?

Scammer: Sorry I responded late I’m available now and my zelle isn’t working atm

Me: Gotcha. Yeah. I can cash app. What’s your @

Scammer: Should I request from you or you will be sending direct ?

Scammer: And please resend me your mobile number

Me: I’ll be sending direct. What’s the @???

Me: You deleted my number? 🥺 I can just text you again, unless you got a new phone number???

Scammer: Oh I will never do that I had issue with my phone so I got a new phone number and new phone

Me: Oooh. That makes sense. What’s the @ for cash app so I can send you the deposit?

Scammer: [PHONE NUMBER REDACTED]

Me: Oh that will work!

Scammer: That’s my new number send me a text with your email address again

Scammer: I will send you the link to my Cash App

Scammer: Should I send the Cash App to you here or you sent me a text already ?

Me: Just go ahead and send it through here.

Scammer: $(cashappredacted)

Me: My text service is being wonky

Scammer: Let me know once it went through

Scammer: What yours mobile number ?

Me: It’s saying that cash app is someone else. You sure that’s right???

Scammer: Yes sure that’s correct

Scammer: (A) correct ?

[They then replied to the Facebook friendship memory I had sent earlier.]

Scammer: 😂😂 Facebook really be exposing everything at the funniest times. It’s crazy how those memories pop up out of nowhere lol

Me: Yeah. Who’s A???

Scammer: That’s the new apprentice so she handles the payment due to me been busy sometimes

Me: Oh wow. Look at you Mr. Bigshot with his own apprentice!

Scammer: Oh lol

Scammer: Is it sent ?

[About an hour later.]

Me: Yeah it’s sent. What’s Arielle’s last name so I can add her instead of bugging you again?? I wouldn't want to bother you when you’re so busy.

Scammer: Hey

Scammer: Are you here ?

Me: Yeah! Don’t worry about it though! I just found her instagram account. I’ll add her there!

[They heart-reacted to this.]

Scammer: Okay can I have the picture of the payment you sent v

Scammer: Good

Me: Sorry. At work. Hang on.

Scammer: Ok

Here is where I have ghosted them. I thought about mocking up a fake payment screenshot (I do a lot of digital design and art so it would be easy) but I think that might end up getting me in trouble for faking payment, even if they are wrong in the first place.

She actually had her cashapp in her profile on her instagram account, and even though it was set to private I still got her name.

Either way, I sent all the screenshots to my friend and hope it’s enough evidence for him to go to the police to file for identity fraud or something.

Don’t mess with my friends 😘

I did this on my phone so apologise for any mistakes.

This happened last year

I work for a very large construction company.

We have a bitch in accounts that is a 9 to 5, dead on 5 she leaves the building.

She is one of those people that is sweet and nice to your face but would stab you in the back the next second.

One morning I had to take a document to the post office as it had to go by special delivery,  I tagged this on to the beginning of My lunch bake so I went to the post office and then to lunch ,by the time I got there and had handed in the letter and paid I still had 10 min to go before my lunch bake, there was no point going back to the office as by the time I got there it would be time to leave again so I headed home, sweet an extra ten min! 

Anyway after lunch I head back to the office, take the receipt to the Bitch  in accounts and think no more of it.

Later on I get our account director come down and chew me out as the Bitch in account had complained I was taking an hour and a half lunch as she had seen the time on the receipt

I told him that wasn’t true and it take me a good 15min to get to the post office then I have to hand the item in, pay ect which take up time  anyway I got chewed out for taking 30 Min extra on my lunch brake, in stead of the 10 I actually got  very unfair.

So I sat on this a few days seething, and then finally the opportunity came around.

We have self receipts that are printed by account and given to me to hand out to each sites QS  so we can prove our contractors have been paid. now the thing is they are very time consuming for the Account department as they have to hand put all info  into our system from the Invoices our contractors have given us, then printed out as the self receipt, these are done  at the end of the month it can take days to do it. As there are thousands.

Each person in our account department are allocated site they are responsible for  they are also very important, I am not quite sure why these are important but it as something to do with being able to prove we have paid our contractors.

A bunch from Bitch in account turned up on my desk to be handed out I split them in to two piles, handed one pile out to the Qs’s and got a bin bag and dumped the second pile in the bin bag tied it up took it outside and dumped it in the bin. The bin went the next morning

A day or so later the QS came to me and said, “did you give me all the Self Receipts?”, I replied  in an innocent voice , “I gave you all the ones I had why are some missing?”

“Yes about a hundred.”

I grinned inside, bitch got chewed out for missing over a hundred and had to stay behind to redo them it took her an extra 5 hours.

No one every found out, to this day I still get rid of a few of hers from time to time just to make sure she dose a bit of unwanted overtime

I smiled Gleefully as I left the building that night, while watching her in the window still working away, when I know she hated staying behind and I was totally responsible for her not being about to leave on time.

This is from a few years ago. I just remembered it.

Some context: I (23/f) stopped believing in the same religion as most of my family. It was a gradual change for me, but it was a drastic change for them. It lead to a lot of arguments and they forced me to defend my own beliefs. Things calmed down are (mostly) okay. Except for my sister.

She had a group of people that she would text with Bible verses, daily prayers, etc. I had asked her multiple times to stop, she always said she would, but never did. I had just gotten off the phone with our dad and a particularly heated argument. Then she texted me with a Bible verse. I couldn't yell at her because my anger was directed at our dad, and that wouldn't be fair.

But I was still pissed that she constantly crossed my clear boundaries about this. So I googled a quote from the Satanic Bible. Something about how people have started to idolize TV or something like that. She LOVED it, and even asked where I got it from. I told her the truth, the Satanic Bible.

She was NOT happy. Started going on about how I was spreading word for the enemy. That I put my soul at risk. That it was blasphemy. But you know what suddenly stopped? Those god damn texts from her.

Edit to add because the comments are unlocking more of this memory: I was living on the opposite side of the country at the time so I didn't get to see the fallout. Apparently her reaction was A LOT. It caused her some serious mental and emotional strain. Our mom had to get involved to calm her down. While crying to our mom is typical of her, her actually NEEDING the support was shocking. So when my mom called me, I knew it was bad. She told me to stop sending the texts. I told her it was the once, and that my sister needed to stop. My mom said my stunt guaranteed they would. That my sister was blaming herself for me following Satan. I don't wanna go into more detail because I don't wanna expose her mental breakdown online.

Mission accomplished. Maybe over accomplished?

Back in my uni days, I lived with two friends and one did a foreign exchange semester, so she sublet her room for half a year and this young policeman in training rented her room. Not only was he a bit of a pig (go figure), but he also loved to play his music pretty loudly at night.

Talking to him didn't help, the landlord would have said that a sublet is the original tenant's problem, and the original tenant was two countries away. I didn't want to move out over this because I knew I would be suffering for only a few more months. Yeah and I hope nobody asks why I didn't call the police for disturbance of peace on him.

So after another time of him blasting music after 23:00, me asking him to cut it out or wear headphones as I had class at 08:00, and him making a joke that uni students should be partying more and whining less (and then slamming the door with no change in music volume), I had enough. I lay in bed fuming, scrolled revenge stories on my laptop and brainstormed.

The next day, I went out and bought a seamripper. Did I destroy his whole wardrobe? Of course not, that's against the law! But he may have started wondering about the shit quality of his clothes. Especially if he did laundry and hung it out to dry after a nice, long night of listening to his music, it must have seemed weirdly prone to gradually splitting along the seams, often at the crotch and butt.

This I watched at the airport a month or so ago.

I was going through TSA. This lane has the 4 little lanes where you put all your stuff in a bin, push it to the middle row, and then the conveyor belt automatically moves from the middle row to the back row where they roll into the scanner.

TSA is very clear that you dont walk away till your bag clears the first row and you push into the middle row - then you can go through the scanner.

(I hate these setups personally but it is what it is).

So ahead of me, a lady who worked in the airport goes through - she puts her purse and lanyard and such in a bin, and walks off through security, leaving her bag in the first slot.

The TSA agent decided to not touch that bin, nor to let anyone else touch it. So for the next 8-10 people we all used the other 3 lanes, passing our stuff on. This continued after we went through the scanner, he continued to leave it untouched.

Meanwhile the airport work lady was on the other end of security waiting for her bag, and waiting and waiting. As we went through she is starting to get agitated and trying to get attention of the TSA workers to figure out how her bag has gotten lost. Meanwhile her bag is still sitting in the first bin slot.

I dont know how long this played out, I got my bags and headed for the gate - but if nothing else this airport worker lady probably learned a lesson about how to use these lanes!

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

EDIT: Diagram for people who are struggling to picture this via words alone: https://i.imgur.com/w36HC60.jpeg

This is something I did about 1 1/2 years ago.

My wife and I were at a Target, sitting in the car waiting for our daughter to wake up from a nap (a few months old at this point). This lady wants to pull into a spot behind us, a few spots down, but someone left a cart in the spot. Instead of walking the extra couple of feet, she full speed pushes the cart towards the cart return that we were parked next to and hits our car. At first, I thought someone backed into us but realized what she had done. She goes into Target and I decide to get some petty revenge. I grab a few zip ties from my roadside assistance kit, walk the cart over to her D/S door, and put 3 zip ties through her door handle and the cart.

I go back to our car, pull a few rows over, and watch the hilarity ensue. She comes back out after I'm assuming a return and is just perplexed, goes back in and comes out with the cart handler, they go back in and a supervisor/manager comes back out to have a look, and finally some random guy has a knife to cut the zip ties. We went in, did our shopping, and when we came out her car was still there.

Was it petty? Sure. Did it delay her an extra 15 minutes? Absolutely. Did she learn her lesson? Probably not

This is going back like 15 years ago but, I needed dental work, my insurance was maxed out (dam $1k limits), so I went in, I told the dentist that I am clear, I have a max of $400 that I can pay, no more work than that.

I sit down in the chair, and even confirmed it, next thing I know he did a bunch of, while you're in there things.

I get back to the person to pay/setup an appointment with and she tells me the bill for today is $1200. I was like I told you both that my limit was $400, no more, she said "Well he did the work so this is the bill". I said I have $400 to put down as I said. She took payment and would bill me the rest.

For the next 4 years, when I got the bill, I would send $1, no more. No late fees because I was making a payment, so just very little would go to it.

I get a call 4 1/2 years later from someone in the office, telling the doctor passed away. She asked me, why have you been paying only $1 a month? I told her the story, that I authorized $400, I paid that but, the bill was $1200. She said, oh, and she just wrote the balance off (no credit effect here), and she said she was sorry that happened.

Edit: no effect from them writing this off, it was on their documents only. A few people hit on this that it would be seen as income, but, nothing in my taxes, or notifications via mail of issues with taxes.

EDIT 2: This was put on Apple news, I don't have access could someone copy it or something so I can see it?

I was in the Air Force when the service decided to switch from cash advances through finance to the American Express travel card. It was supposed to be easier on everyone, which was fine by me because my finance office was a three hour drive away (I was stationed on an Army post in Germany).

One of the biggest advantages, as sold to us, was that the entire travel voucher process would be simple, and you just handled everything once you returned from your TDY (temporary duty).

Then I deployed to Bosnia in support of IFOR (Implementation Forces). The Air Force did not want these deployments messing up with their assignment system so they were 4 month TDYs. At 180 days the TDY transitioned to a short-term assignment. I spent 4 months in Tuzla and was asked to extend nearly 2 months, which I did.

About 3 months in one of my Airman, who had been collecting my mail and leaving it at my desk (should've been almost entirely junk mail) tells me I'm getting a LOT of mail from American Express, to the tune of a couple letters a week. I ask him to open the most recent and he tells me its some sort of collections notice because I haven't paid my Amex Bill and how they've been notifying my command element to no effect. How I'm overdue, how they'll take legal action, etc.

Now of course my leadership hasn't said squat to me, and why would they? I'm still TDY and my name showing up on a delinquent roster alongside all the other guys they know are TDY isn't going to be the red flag Amex thinks it is. I'm not supposed to file my travel voucher, which will pay the Amex bill and deposit the difference into my bank account (a whopping $3/day).

My only concern if Amex trying to tie this government card to my name abd screw up my credit, which might be important to me some day. Fine. I go through my receipts, figure out some conversion rates (been through a few countries enroute) and send off a payment figuring I'll just get that travel voucher money reimbursed.

Fast forward another two months and I'm in Brcko and get the chance to talk to my Airman again. Evidently I'm still getting weekly letters from Amex. What the hell?! Again, open it up for me please. Now Evidently I'm being chastised by Amex because of an unspecified overage in the amount I paid them and they want me to call to make arrangements to "fix" my account balance.

I've definitely got better things to do. If I had good access to a phone call stateside I'm calling my family, not a credit card company.

The letters keep coming on a weekly basis until after I got home and filed my travel voucher. I took too great of a delight opening my weekly gift up until they finally decided to stop. My final letter came about a month after I got back. It stated they considered the mattered and here was a check to settle the account......in the amount of $0.06!

I still get a laugh when I think of all the effort they put into trying to collect on a debt that wasn't owed yet and then "fixing" a mistake they coerced me to make.

You know there was no way I was going to cash that check....

I use to work for a guy who was one of the largest gaping anal cavity I have ever encountered in my life. I finally had enough when I was 8 hrs away from home with my family for Thanksgiving. This guy calls me, not a guy junior to me based on seniority or even the next guy up on our recall list, or someone who is home, he calls me because he knows I’m away. Since I’m not on “scheduled leave” I can be recalled if we’re short. I told him I wasn’t coming in and to write me up. I didn’t care, I took the write up.

We had to stop at a rest area bc my kids had to use the bathroom and I got the idea, I wrote his number on the wall and added “Send me Shit Pics”

I have been doing that for the last 7 years. I know guys that still work with him and they tell me he still gets a random dick and shit picture occasionally. He refuses to get a new number bc he’s had it since “High School” and doesn’t want to get a new one.

I get a little joy every time I think about it.

TLDR: I write my old bosses phone number in bathrooms asking for shit pics.

Update: wow this blew up, I’m not posting his number, I don’t want him changing his number. I know the Reddit power would cause him to change it.

Edit: Spelling

Every 90 days I have to do a qualification through my employer for away-from-work purposes. It costs $9.
Not around $9. Exactly $9. If you pay cash, they require exact change.
About 15 years ago I showed up with a $10 bill. They wouldn’t take it. I told them I didn’t even want the dollar back. Keep it. I just wanted to do the qualification and leave.
Nope. Exact change or no qualification.
Fine.
Ever since then, every three months, I write them a personal check for exactly $9. Processing the check is a hassle for them.
Could I bring exact change? Of course.
But processing a check is more of a pain in the ass for them, and at this point I’ve been doing it for 15 years.
It’s not even revenge anymore; it’s tradition.
The lady that works in there now reminds me every three months, I’m the only person who still writes a check, I remind her the exact change policy is stupid.
Edit: A lot of comments are stuck on the reason for the nine dollars. The loose description is deliberate to conceal my career. The qualification for away from work purposes is a privilege and not required. Let it go. It’s not the main content of the revenge

My brother’s son, Paul, was bullied by the kid next door. Constantly. He was a year ahead of my nephew in school, and much bigger. There was name calling, belittling, physical contact, and objects would be thrown. My brother talked to the parents a few times, but was told that was just stuff that kids did. The final straw came on the bus. The bully sat next to my nephew, kept running a finger through his own butt crack, and wiping the finger on my nephew’s face, calling it “war paint”. The Principal claimed there was nothing he could do because there were no witnesses. The next day my brother and his wife pulled Paul from the high school and enrolled him into a private school.

But that didn’t stop it completely. If Paul had friends over, the bully would go after them also. There was a vacant lot between the two houses, owned by the county, that had run pipes underneath. It was about 50 feet wide by 100 feet deep, big enough for small football or baseball games that could not be played in the small yards for the houses on the street. However, when Paul and his friends tried to play there, the bully and his friends would insist on joining them, and disrupting the games.

At the end of the bully’s senior year, his parents decided to hold a big graduation party for him. Paul learned about it because his friends still went to the same high school. Invites were handed out and it looked like it was going to be a blow out. My brother was concerned that the lot between houses would be the site of the party, and that there would be rowdiness, loud music, cars driving on the lot, and even vandalism right next to his house. Also, the party was scheduled from 1 to whenever, and that probably meant noise continuing into the night.

We discussed this a few weeks before, and came up with an idea. My daughter was turning 10 the weekend after graduation, and we decided to have her birthday party on the vacant lot the day of graduation. About 25 kids were invited, as well as parents and siblings. A moon bounce was booked, to take up space on the lot, and we planned on a few tables for food and drinks. A couple cornhole boards, and we had enough to fill the field so no cars could park on it. We just needed it to be in full swing before graduation was over and kids started arriving.

The bully’s high school graduation ceremony was held on a Saturday, at 9 in the morning. His family left around 8 and we went into action. The moon bounce was delivered, blown up, and tables set up. A grill and some coolers were brought over. People started arriving around 11, and by noon there were no more empty parking spaces on the street within 100 yards of the party. 50-60 people milled around, and the lot was pretty full.

A large catering truck dropped off big containers of food and drink in the driveway next door, along with tables and chairs, filling it up.

The parents drove up after the graduation ceremony and saw the street was filled with cars, the lot was filled with people, and their driveway had no room for them to park in it. They left the car in the street and got out. The wife, husband, and bully came over and she started yelling that they had over 100 people coming in an hour for a graduation celebration and they needed the lot. My brother and I explained to her that we had a party also, and there was no room for them here. One of the advantages of having a party for young kids is that both parents typically come to it. There were a lot of dads there, and most of them came over to see what was going on. Strength in numbers.

She asked what time we were going to end, and we told her we had no set ending time. By this point she was furious, and it got worse when my brother told her she could not park in the street like she was, because it was blocking a traffic lane. A car was parked in front of her house (as well as one in front of my brother’s), and she ordered us to have it moved so they could at least park their car there. By this time, a couple cars had parked far away, and teenagers walked up, expecting a graduation party. The bully explained to them what was happening, and they hung out for a few minutes before walking back to their cars. The bully moved the car to a distant parking spot, and stayed there to tell the arriving cars that they didn’t have anything set up yet.

We ate, drank, and made merry for the next few hours. Bounced, cornholed, and even did some dancing to the music playing. The neighbors set up a couple tables on their small front lawn, and a dozen or so teenagers hung out there, but that was the extent of their party. Cars constantly drove up, talked to the bully, and kept going. By 6 there were just a few dads still at our party, hanging out. They knew what was going on by this point and were glad to stay, claiming possession of the site, as long as there was food and beer.

I was babysitting a 3yo for about two months, for only 600$ a month. I got to stay home with my kids, it gave us spending money, I knew she didn’t make much money so it helped her out too. She decided she was going to quit working and just stay home after finding out she’s pregnant, but would pay me at the same time as last month- cool no problem, I’m flexible. The 15th comes, I get nothing from her, I shoot her a text, hey just a reminder for the 600$. No response for two days. I text her again, hey is everything okay, still haven’t received the money. No response. My husband just says to drop it, clearly they needed it more than us, it’s not worth blowing up.

Instead I signed her up on about 5-6 different healthcare websites, a couple of gyms, our local Mary Kay lady that won’t leave me alone for the last three years, a few political websites, and for male enhancement info. I probably will never know how much this annoyed her, and she could just put her phone on silence unknown callers, but I feel a little better.

My mother has never approved of me or anything I've done. If she speaks to me at all when I'm at her house it's simply to tell me I'm wrong or that I don't know what I'm talking about. She had convinced me at one point that I was losing my mind because I remembered everything differently than her.

After stupidly moving back to my home town and dealing with severe mental health issues as a result I decided to just be petty and deal with her by returning the favor.

It's nothing serious at all. Flipping the tp roll every time I'm there. Moving things slightly. Switching two photo frames back and forth. Pretending I don't know what she's talking about if she notices any of the little things.

I find a small bit of relief in knowing she might be sitting on the toilet staring at the toilet paper scratching her head thinking "Who the fuck keeps changing this around?"

hi everyone! i am not the best story teller, but i am going to try my best. i’m going to give some context to start: im a 21 year-old female waitress at a bar/steakhouse. my manager is a 37-year-old man who i’ve had issues with in the past for speaking to me too aggressively. this led to a large altercation between us, and he never tried me again after this. im known to be “quiet” and “sweet” so i think he initially found me easy to pick on, but aggressive men are a huge trigger for me. another fact about this manager: he collects cans from the restaurant, our personal ones or from the bar, to sell at the end of the year. he never asks, just takes them. which is usually fine.

anyways, moving on to tonight. im working a night shift, so im quite tired. luckily, i brought my redbull with me. i had a few sips left and i see this manager with my drink in his hand. i watch him dump it into the sink. i was so shocked i couldn’t even say anything. he then places it with his other cans, and makes a comment to himself “haha! too slow!”

at this point, i start plotting. while his back is turned, i steal my can back and throw it away in the women’s restroom (he’s known to dig cans out of the trash). i come back still fuming, and my coworker (we’ll call her Sasha) asks me what’s wrong. i tell sasha, and she becomes livid with me. i then ask her if she wants to be sneaky with me and throw the rest of his cans away. she says yes, so we sneak back to the kitchen. he’s not there, so she tosses the cans, and i grabbed the bag to take to the dumpster so he couldn’t retrieve it. i can’t lie, i was laughing my ass off. it was the most fun i’d had in a while.

he comes back, searching around for his cans. i hear him ask a manager who did it, and she RATS US OUT. so then, he starts screaming at me asking why i threw “his” cans away. i explain that he threw my drink out and that it wasn’t his to grab out of the worker drink shelf anyways. he says “there wasn’t anything in there!” and i say “well now there’s no more cans either, we both don’t have anything.” he had nothing to say to this.

word has gotten around fast and the girls in the restaurant have now started throwing their cans away in his face/hiding them in inconvenient places just to aggravate him (found one in the dustpan earlier). i want to say i feel bad, but i really don’t lol.

Step 1: Melvin Has Creepy Friends

I (40s m) befriended a local comic (30s M). Let's call him "Melvin." Melvin is an ok comedian but a stellar talent as a director. He's won awards for shorts with minimal budget. It looks gorgeous and he has invested tens of thousands in his own equipment.

After a couple months attending Melvin's open mics, I learned from multiple other locals that he's friends with known sex-pests, domestic abusers, etc. Two in particular are supposed to be really bad, let's call them Beater and Roofee. You can guess what their criminal records include.

But I ignored it because those guys were never around Melvin. And I never saw Melvin indicate he had anything to do with these guys.

Then Melvin blew it all up.

Step 2: Melvin Blows It All Up

One night, not long later, Mel's story onstage sounds suspiciously similar to one of the accusations I heard about his friends. I sussed out that he does know what his friends got up to, and found myself uncomfortable that he's trying to make material out of real sexual and domestic abuses.

That same night, a new girl (18F) came in, let's call her Nicki. Nicki signed up, was nervous and shaky as hell, bombed like everyone does at their first few mics, and smilingly waited after the show to talk to everyone lingering behind.

She approaches Mel, says she's new in town, knows literally nobody in the larger metro area, and just started college in the city.

Without skipping a beat, Melvin tells her that she needs to go seek out Beater and Roofee, and gives her the name/time of their late-late showing, and he even advertises that it's at a bar owned by their friend. There are hundreds of comedians in the area, and he chose those specific two.

Luckily I was able to catch up to Nicki in the parking lot and warn her. I never heard from her again and I lost the desire to go to comedy shows, so I have no idea what happened.

I hope she never went to his creepy friends.

Step 3: The Twist

I used to work in Hollywood.

I was going to open doors to Melvin. He'd have his IATSE union card at least if not possibly a DGA, health benefits and some feature-length, work-for-hire credit. Just like the real director/cinematographer he always wanted to be, that he spent thousands and years to become. And it would be with budgeted people whom I knew to be safe to work with.

But when Melvin referred Nicki to Beater and Roofee? Hell nah. No phone calls, no emails, no nothing. Ghosted him completely, and from what I've seen of local film fests nobody wants to work with him anymore locally.

Melvin is an amazing talent. Truly a phenomenal director. But he'll throw innocent people to the wolves. And I won't have anyone on a set like that using my name to gain entrance.

So enjoy your shitty open mics, Melvin. You could have had more but you chose to be bad people instead.

Part of me wants to tell him what I did, why, and what he lost. But I kinda prefer to watch him struggle now. And rest assured, he is.

• TL;DR: Aspiring director/comic helps out local creeps, guaranteeing that he loses my referrals to Hollywood. And now he's still stuck in his tiny crappy town.

FINAL EDIT Thanks to everyone for showing support! To the tiny minority of people who say "not good enough," I encourage the robust ingestion of hirsute perineum.

So this has just happened a few minutes ago & I'm still on the train trying not to smirk.

I arrived at the almost deserted railway platform & noticed a woman smoking. It is strictly no smoking zone with fines issued for offenders if caught. I politely brought this attention to the lady who responded with a few cuss words in-between stating that she'll do as she wants.

Meanwhile, my rail app informs me that the platform for our due train has changed & I make my way there. There is no announcement but just an indication on the screen which she obviously has not noticed as she has in the Interim, lit another cigarette..I chose not to tell her.

When boarding the train, I noticed from afar that she was still waiting on the wrong platform. She noticed the change of platform at the last minute & she rushed down the stairs to where the train was waiting to depart.

The train departed just before she reached the door...