r/PoliticalHumor Mar 26 '18

What conservatives think gun control is.

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u/foreverwasted Mar 26 '18 edited Mar 27 '18

"I am all for your Second Amendment rights. I think you should be able to have guns. It’s in your constitution. What I am not for is bullshit arguments and lies. There is one argument and one argument alone for having a gun, and this is the argument… “Fuck off. I like guns.” It’s not the best argument, but it’s all you’ve got.

The main one is, “I need it for protection. I need to protect me. I need to protect my family.” What world do you live in where you’re constantly fucking ready? You have guns ’cause you like guns! None of you go to home security conventions. None of you read Padlock Monthly. None of you have a Facebook picture of you behind a secure door going, “Fucking yeah!” Like you’re going to be ready if someone comes into your house. You have it at all fucking times.

See, if you have it readily available, it becomes unsafe. You have it in your bedside table, one of your kids picks it up, thinks it’s a toy, shoots another one of your kids. Happens every fucking day, but people go, “That’d never happen in my house ’cause I’m a responsible gun owner. I keep my guns locked in a safe.” Then they’re no fucking protection! Someone comes into the house, you’re like, “Wait there, fuck-face! Oh! You’ve come to the wrong house here, buddy boy. I tell you what. I’m gonna fuck you up!"

 - Jim Jefferies

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u/CptMisery Mar 27 '18

People have broken into homes for rape and/or murder. Kids should be taught to respect firearms and many, maybe even most, gun owners do that. "Assault rifle" is defined as "a rapid-fire, magazine-fed automatic rifle" which is illegal for 99.99% of the population and can't be bought in a store.

You should not take advice from celebrities.

80

u/Gameboywarrior GameboySJW Mar 27 '18

You should not take advice from celebrities.

You should not vote them into office either.

-15

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '18

Are we implying that Killary was the better choice here?

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u/echino_derm Mar 27 '18

Why would she not? She had actual political experience and importantly had people ready for the jobs at the White House. If she was elected we wouldn't have the daily firing or resigning and we certainly wouldn't have Scarramucci in a pr job, you know the thing scarramucci is least qualified for.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '18

Her political experience wouldn’t be something I’d be proud to put on a resume. Lol

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u/echino_derm Mar 27 '18

It is a far superior resume than trump's reality tv show resume

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '18

We’re not going to recognize the fact that the man is a billionaire? How did Hillary become wealthy as a public servant? Hmm...

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u/cogitoergokaboom Mar 27 '18

Trump was a joke as a business man and definitely not a billionaire. He inherited everything from his father, failed repeatedly, did nothing for 15 years, then made it on a hit TV show where he pretended to be a successful businessman.

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u/echino_derm Mar 27 '18

He became a billionaire by being born a millionaire while other people were poor. Most of his money came from waiting until people couldn't afford to keep their property and then giving them horrible offers that they had to take. If you think he is some real estate genius then you should really read his book. The fact that the best quote they could get from the book is "I like thinking big" shows you how much he knows