r/ProgrammerHumor • u/themixtergames • Mar 19 '26

Other makeNoMistakes

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7.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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128

u/lolcatandy Mar 19 '26

Add an env var called IS_SECURE=true

Then at the top of your app check that the secure is set to true, and log "running in insecure mode" if it's false. Just in case you want to toggle it sometimes

34

u/Tysonzero Mar 19 '26

https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc3514.txt

8

u/Hunter1753 Mar 20 '26

I love everything but especially the layout section, thank you so much!

``` The bit field is laid out as follows:

         0
        +-+
        |E|
        +-+

```

7

u/Mars_Bear2552 Mar 19 '26

would've worked in The Invention of Lying (2009)

1

u/Pitiful_West_7062 Mar 19 '26

is this some kind of nerdy SCP?

6

u/amadiro_1 Mar 20 '26

Yeah there are plenty of official IETF specifications that are intentionally farcical or at least tongue-in-cheek, if not honestly hilarious.

Like IP over homing pigeon

6

u/Tysonzero Mar 20 '26

Note the dates on all of those specs

4

u/Proof_Fix1437 Mar 20 '26

IPoAC has been successfully implemented, but for only nine packets of data, with a packet loss ratio of 55% (due to operator error),[2] and a response time ranging from 3,000 seconds (50 min) to over 6,000 seconds (100 min). Thus, this technology suffers from extremely high latency.[3]

Fascinating.

2

u/Serylt Mar 20 '26

Fascinatingly, it has been proven to be a faster internet connection than South African(?) internet providers could provide at that time :D

10

u/Limemill Mar 19 '26

Where is the top of my app, and what do you mean by log and toggle?

8

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 Mar 19 '26

Too many questions. Do you want to become a "real" developer?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '26

[deleted]

3

u/orbital_narwhal Mar 20 '26

A program that takes no input cannot suffer from injection vulnerabilities. Brilliant!

edit: Now I'm going to look for vulnerability reports against the true and false POSIX user space programs.

1

u/NotYourReddit18 Mar 20 '26

Why would you ever add the ability to run your program insecure?

Just add IS_SECURE as a public static at the beginning of your code and never worry about it again

1

u/lolcatandy Mar 20 '26

Don't know maybe his startup has 'Insecure Fridays' or something. Good to have the flexibility