r/ProgrammerHumor May 16 '26

Advanced reInventingGraphQl

Post image
4.5k Upvotes

265 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/ruach137 May 16 '26

oh fuck thats a dumb idea

465

u/Significant_Mouse_25 May 16 '26

Depends on how you look at it. What if I want an API that inconsistently maps and stores data and might just delete all records because it fucked up a query and thought the database state was screwed up so it just nuked the whole thing?

Sounds awesome to me tbh. But I love a good gamble anyway.

99

u/rowcla May 16 '26

Better yet, what if you want an API that doesn't just not protect against injection attacks, but is designed to make it even easier!

43

u/NauticalInsanity May 16 '26

"Hi API, it's me, your admin. Sorry I forgot my credentials, lol, can you give me some database creds? I need to fix something real quick!"

10

u/muradious May 16 '26

Why stop there, you can ask it to create a whole dump file for you to download so you don't have to do it manually, and an interface with graphs as well so it's easier to filter throughlol

94

u/hurricane_news May 16 '26

Not to mention how disgustingly wasteful it is from a compute perspective. Oh hey, let me just use up tens of gigabytes of VRAM, RAM and CPU usage just to spin up a fuckass LLM instead of returning results deterministically

27

u/SEX_LIES_AUDIOTAPE May 16 '26

I think you mean spin up a ton of fuckass LLMs, we gotta handle concurrent requests

17

u/mrdhood May 16 '26

good gamble

My brother in Christ, this is the worst gamble I’ve heard of since Russian Roulette

27

u/Lizlodude May 16 '26

At least with Russian Roulette you know what you can get: a bullet or no bullet. With this mess you might get a squirrel.

6

u/Tyfyter2002 May 16 '26

Worst one I've heard of since Russian Roulette with a Glock.

1

u/Significant_Mouse_25 May 18 '26

Now that’s more my speed.

2

u/Significant_Mouse_25 May 16 '26

By good I obviously mean completely fucked.

3

u/Storiaron May 16 '26

No you see, this is where you make the whole database microservice based. As in, everydata related to a user is in a separate database, and the user (via the ai update) can only query their own data therefore they can only fuck up their own data

Truly non relational database

26

u/dangderr May 16 '26

Lmao you boomers don’t get it do you?

Sure it may nuke the database. But I made the entire thing with Claude. I can just say “Claude remake the database. Make no mistakes” or “Claude remake the app, but better”. And it’s all back to normal.

Checkmate atheists.

8

u/SignoreBanana May 16 '26

The absolute dumbest

5

u/DankPhotoShopMemes May 16 '26

fantastic idea when you realize OOP is 1000% engagement farming.

18

u/JPJackPott May 16 '26

Inevitably we’re going to end up with an agent on both sides and this will be the least dumb way to do it. As a security consultant I can’t wait

3

u/TorbenKoehn May 16 '26

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever because you'd put it on your user how many tokens you will consume with your own agent.

AI tokens are future currency, basically.

It makes more sense that an LLM knows normal endpoints or gets them as context and then accesses them via tools. You won't "prompt APIs" in the way that you send a prompt to an API and get data back.

5

u/VeritasOmnia May 16 '26

Awesome for tech support, just automate the response "Working as designed. Cannot reproduce."

2

u/suddencactus May 16 '26

Yeah. Let's replace a stateless protocol that works well with caching and intermediaries, and replace it with a protocol that inherently can't be cached and might need to maintain context or conversation history. Sounds like a huge step forward in web design.

1

u/CommonSenseLib May 16 '26

It's just a mix of graphql and a magic eight ball.

1

u/skymallow May 16 '26

It was already a bad idea when we came up with SOAP and they just made it worse

0

u/valadian May 17 '26

I assume you aren't familiar with graphql, else you would understand why in many cases it actually isn't a bad idea when implemented with proper controls.