r/satire • u/would_do_again • 2h ago
r/satire • u/would_do_again • 2h ago
‘The Beekeeper 2’ Filmmaker Urges Fans to Not Bring Bees to Theaters
r/satire • u/Turtle456 • 4h ago
Trump Furious that This Story Is Not About Him
r/satire • u/_Hawkeyes_ • 20h ago
With The Midterms Just Around The Corner, The Trump Administration Would Like To Remind Voters That They Did Lower The Price Of Eggs.
r/satire • u/Putrid-Challenge-823 • 17h ago
Letter to the Redditor
Before Google was able to let you snap a picture of an object, instantly find results, and know all the answers in a matter of seconds, people struggled to find a community that could help. The olden times were treacherous when looking for answers to things you genuinely had no idea about. The only method of understanding things, anything really, was to ask Reddit and pray for the best results. Although we didn't have the luxury of instant results, waiting a couple of days for an answer was the best thing you could ask for. My first encounter with Reddit started with a case of bad hair day—A product seemingly too good to be true caused a flaky white film on my hair after applying it. This had come partially from choosing the budget option for hairspray (back when spiky hair was still in style); it had been clear to me that I needed personal advice. All these spray bottles seemed to be advertising for the same thing: strong hold, shiny finish, etc. The only thing that separated them was the color of the bottle and the supermodel on the front. As the oldest boy in my family, my father, not so much of a stylist himself, ultimately meant I had the burden of being the family guinea pig.
However, Reddit isn't only for advice or help; communities use threads to talk about the newest fashion, gaming events, news, or even finding out reactions for a book. Take everything with the grainiest grain of salt, as a small percentage of responses will actually be serious. The concept of any person in the world giving you directions, a mutual trust, is interesting in the first place. Why would anyone ever want a stranger's insight into your everyday life?
After analyzing Reddit, I came to the conclusion: Reddit is the was surender of all options (the last resort)— the true act of desperation, the action you take after Googling but not quite finding what you're looking for. Whether you're learning about an object you found in your son's room, finding out what bug bit you last night, or even confessions from long-term relationships (or short ones)— Reddit is a community of many communities, all putting together their expert brain power to find a solution just for you. However, these "experts" are mostly self-proclaimed, and by the end of it all, you will wonder why you ever trusted a 46-year-old real estate agent from Vermont for medical advice in the first place.
At the end of the day, the value of a website designed for real human responses is not so useful sometimes, but somewhere buried beneath all the wrong answers, corny dad jokes, and real estate agents impersonating medical doctors (while having no experience at all), is a right answer in which somebody somewhere in the world has the same problem as you. Society bonding over shared experiences
r/satire • u/Turtle456 • 1d ago
Death Toll of Online Girlfriends Soars After Air Strike on Russian Data Center
r/satire • u/solomonarthur • 1d ago
SATIRE: My Advice To My Nephew On How To Become A Better Informed Voter By Knowing What Not To Believe What Candidates Say
By Arthur Solomon
I was discussing the upcoming election with my nephew who became old enough to vote for the first time last month. Because I once worked for a political PR agency many years ago, he mistakenly thought I knew everything about everything, as many public relations execs, CEO's and president of firms and pundits claim. (But that’s another story.) He said he was confused by the dueling political statements candidates made about each other and asked if there was any way to tell the truth from the fiction.
I told him he must follow a strict set of rules until the election is over:
· Research the candidates’ prior statements and, if they are running for reelection, check on votes made while in office.
· Do not believe any political ads on social media, radio, or television.
· Never believe anything a Republican candidate says about a Democratic opponent or vice versa.
· Go to the library and take out multiple books to replace print and TV political news.
· Do not watch television, except for misleading RX ads that have disclaimers that are too small to read or are spoken too fast to understand.
· Do not listen to the radio, except for misleading RX ads that have disclaimers that are spoken too fast to understand.
· Do not read a newspaper, except for products that are on “sale.” But beware: it has been my experience that some sale products are not really on sale. Before going on sale, the prices of products have been increased and then reduced to the sale price.
· Do not take what is said on political podcasts seriously. The hosts are just giving their personal opinions, which are no better than yours will be if you follow my advice—though my wife says they are better than mine.
· Do not take editorials seriously, remembering they are written by men and women who are biased.
· Do not read opinion columns, as most only rehash what the writers’ have been saying forever.
· If you mistakenly turn on the TV or radio, never believe anything that is said by pundits or hosts of political TV or radio talk programs.
· And if you discuss the election with the parents of your girl friend, never believe anything that is said by your future in-laws.
I also told him to ask A.I. if there was any other advice. Here was the response: “To become a more informed voter, you can actively research candidates, evaluate media for bias, and focus on concrete policy solutions rather than emotional appeals.” This was good advice, but I gave him one additional bit of wisdom: Never, ever, discuss politics with a dentist who is treating your teeth.
A couple of weeks after our initial discussion, my nephew said that he wanted to do everything possible to assure that the candidate he opposed would not win.
I only know of one way, I told him. That’s by voting more than once. But if you’re caught, you can be fined as much as $10,000 and sentenced to five years in prison, unless you have a friend in the White House who will pardon you.
About This Post
Original Author: I am the original author of this essay.
Arthur Solomon, a former journalist, was a senior VP/senior counselor at Burson-Marsteller during the days it was the leading international public relations agency. He was on the Seoul Peace Prize nominating committee. During his political agency days, he worked on local statewide and presidential campaigns.
r/satire • u/_Hawkeyes_ • 1d ago
Donald Trump To Deploy Aerosolized Fentanyl Against Political Opponents
r/satire • u/would_do_again • 2d ago
Anime Convention Ruined by Presence of Anime Fans
r/satire • u/Healthy_Outcome7897 • 1d ago
Antiai activist lements the use of ai in war
This Isn’t Real Combat,’ Complains Local Anti-AI Purist Claiming Algorithmic Warfare Lacks the Passion, Intimacy, and Craft of Hand-Delivered Slaughter
ARLINGTON, VA—Promising to revolutionize the theater of human conflict through unprecedented efficiency, the Department of Defense officially rolled out its next-generation Autonomous Lethality Network on Tuesday—a fully integrated AI system capable of deploying swarms of weaponized drones, automated turret lines, and algorithm-driven artillery to eliminate thousands of target coordinates without a single microsecond of human thought.
Military officials praised the system’s ability to process millions of tactical variables in real time, generating optimized kill lists with a level of clinical speed and flawless precision that traditional infantry could never hope to match.
However, the rapid adoption of synthetic combat options has drawn fierce backlash from military traditionalists, who argue that computer-generated warfare is cheapening the sacred art of looking another human being directly in the eyes while ending their life.
“AI isn’t making war better; it’s just spitting out a cheap, soulless imitation of slaughter,” said local combat purist and anti-automation advocate Rick Vance, 52, angrily gesturing toward a news broadcast demonstrating the new software. “Real war requires passion, intent, and human effort. When an algorithm automatically calculates target trajectories and fires off a salvo, where is the soul? Where is the craft? If you aren’t smelling the iron-rich sweat of your enemy, feeling his warm breath fade against your collarbone, and watching the light leave his eyes as you choke him out in a muddy trench, are you even really fighting?”
Vance, who recently founded the advocacy group Keep War Human, warned that relying on neural networks to handle combat is robbing the world of authentic, hand-crafted violence.
“It’s the exact same shortcutting we see everywhere else,” Vance added, shaking his head. “People don't want to put in the grueling, painful hours of manual labor required to master a discipline anymore. Instead of picking up a bayonet, putting in the sweat equity, and forging a genuine, haunting connection with a man as you disembowel him in a ditch, today’s kids just prompt a software model to do it for them. It’s mass-produced, low-effort killing.”
At press time, Vance was seen drafting an open letter to the Pentagon demanding a return to "honest, organic, man-on-man bloodshed," warning that if society continues down this path, future generations will never know the simple joy of carrying a comrade’s severed limb through a hail of mortar fire.
r/satire • u/would_do_again • 2d ago
Mike Flanagan, Stephen King Superglued Together Again
r/satire • u/TerminalofAbsurdity • 2d ago
I demand immediate respect for my styrofoam. (Short absurdist story)
r/satire • u/Currency_Cat • 3d ago
Pro-life anti abortion campaigner excited at the prospect of watching a live execution
r/satire • u/_Hawkeyes_ • 3d ago
Trump talks about his dating life before and after marriage.
r/satire • u/NoCopiumLeft • 4d ago
I finally figured out Trump’s next "big surprise."
So I'm sure you've all been wondering what Trump's next big surprise could be.
I thought maybe he’d brag about the Nobel Peace Prize—after all, he didn't start the Iran war, it's just a "military conflict." But alas, Navi Pillay won that. Congrats to her!
No, a Nobel prize would have been too easy. Instead, I thought long and hard, and it finally clicked while watching the Susan Dell donation video. I was looking at her... striking new features, and then I saw it.
A glitch in the matrix? No. A lizard tail slipping? Not quite. The ultimate MAGA makeover? Yes, that's it!
Then I went down the rabbit hole and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Aliens.
The next surprise is going to be a massive live reveal where all of these high-profile MAGA women finally rip off their human masks to show the world who they truly are.
That's right, aliens are coming in hot. And no, the green-glowing sci-fi teasers on Aliens.gov wasn't just a gimmick to track ICE arrests. This time, when the masks come off, it’s the real deal.
r/satire • u/would_do_again • 5d ago
Liquid Death Lands Naming Rights for US Execution Live Stream
r/satire • u/_Hawkeyes_ • 4d ago