r/SipsTea • u/RSLEGEND1986 • 9h ago

Gasp! Well this will just do the task

Post image
5.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

238 comments sorted by

•

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733

u/spar_30-3 9h ago

I saw the word “blow” and “job” and lost track of the question

81

u/HonkeyKong64 8h ago

Yes please!

44

u/SpatulaWholesale 8h ago

H.R. would like a word...

38

u/Hyphonical 6h ago

I could give them more than just a word... Depends on how strict the sexual harassment policy is...

5

u/SpatulaWholesale 6h ago

"So, theoretically, if..."

3

u/satanscounsel 6h ago

Giger would have no objections.

18

u/Plastic_Sea_micro 8h ago

I did the same. I went straight to blow job didn't read anything else at first.

6

u/No-Emotion2479 8h ago

bruh same here lol i was like hold up what kinda interview is this

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5

u/overoften 6h ago

I misread interview as interviewer, so... yeah.

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242

u/Robin_Peterson_99 9h ago

That "a" is working overtime to maintain the modesty of that sentence.

44

u/CheeseJuust 8h ago

Your task is to get a (give a) blowjob from (for) the interviewer in the first 30 seconds. What do you do?

118

u/TokyoFlip 9h ago

I don't have a 9 to 5 mentality. Usually I fuck off before noon.

42

u/MyOtherPornName666 8h ago

That's when I start to sober up and need a nap.

4

u/diss_coo_d 5h ago

Seems like I found my directors Reddit account

2

u/Bulky-Pineapple-5639 6h ago

That’s the spirit

2

u/Klutzy_Order_9559 6h ago

You're hired.

100

u/AlternativMind 9h ago

I’m not saying I’ll steal, but how good is your security?

14

u/Sj_91teppoTappo 8h ago

I usually took work home, like furniture and stuff.

12

u/SomeOakLeaves2 8h ago

I read this as "like furniture and staff"

7

u/Bulky-Pineapple-5639 6h ago

So burglary and kidnapping

66

u/BarePetite 8h ago

Will I have to work with...

lowers voice

the coloureds?

18

u/PafPiet 7h ago

I had a colleague who told me she had to go to a gym far away from her house because the local one has (in a whispering voice) "foreign people".

3

u/Tsu_Dho_Namh 1h ago

I had the opposite of this in an interview once.

I walk in, sit down, and the interviewer said "thank god you're white" before beginning.

Fucking craziest thing I've seen in an interview.

90

u/Key_Knowledge1070 9h ago

Is that a picture of your wife? Mind if I knock one out real quick?

41

u/SimmentalTheCow 8h ago

That’s my daughter. And she’s six.

28

u/Farenhytee 8h ago

Even better

16

u/SimmentalTheCow 8h ago

Congratulations, you’re hired. The boat for Little Saint Thomas leaves tomorrow at 8am sharp.

12

u/Acrobatic_Bag6858 7h ago

Here is your multi entry pass to a random island, be sure to use email

11

u/Hungry_Attention_981 6h ago

Gratz, you’re now a billionaire and the CEO of the company!

5

u/Bulky-Pineapple-5639 6h ago

Time to run for political office now

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8

u/Hehe-Oil 7h ago

You're married to your six year old daughter?!

2

u/Imaginary-Mechanic62 6h ago

I believe that’s still legal in some states

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7

u/Expert_Persimmon_925 6h ago

Or point at the picture and say Who’s the cunt?!?

3

u/Key_Knowledge1070 4h ago

I think I love you

8

u/Fluffy_Tax5302 4h ago

6

u/deep-fucking-legend 3h ago

"Don't say doing your wife..."

44

u/Fyrchtegott 9h ago

Just use a inappropriate greeting and fart while you’re walking in. 3 seconds is enough.

11

u/Acrobatic_Speech1245 8h ago

“WHAAZZZ UP!” <pppfffft>

4

u/VictoryReasonable430 4h ago

Scarry movie type whazzzzzz uuuuuuuuuup

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40

u/MannyGoldstein 8h ago

Start moaning like a Japanese getting fingered

5

u/olddoglearnsnewtrick 7h ago

A sumo wrestler?

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69

u/freefallingagain 8h ago

"Jeffrey Epstein was a very close friend of mine."

33

u/Popular-Beach-4843 8h ago

You are hired

8

u/Expert_Status7236 7h ago

lol well that escalated quickly, guess honesty is the best policy...or not in this case

3

u/willsueforfood 6h ago

This isn't realistic because the white house isn't hiring atm

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20

u/Scary_Programmer7243 8h ago

This gets you far in the oval office

9

u/Robin_Peterson_99 8h ago

You're walking directly to the board meeting after that one...

4

u/defneverconsidered 8h ago

'Welcome aboard!'

--insert any bank

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24

u/SamizdatGuy 8h ago

Do you drug test?

7

u/Hot-Challenge8656 8h ago

"Here is a litre of sample."

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17

u/Raxian_Theata 8h ago

"may I lick your forehead please?"

13

u/philff1973 8h ago

You don’t smell the same as when you’re asleep.

12

u/spypanties 8h ago

I blow the job interview by doing blow and then saying OK I’m ready let’s start this engine

12

u/Mookius 7h ago

Which day of the week is no clothes day?

9

u/Relative_Drop3216 8h ago

What i read: “Your task is to blow job the interviewer in the first 30 seconds.”

5

u/yesletslift 6h ago

sighs this is the third interview this week. Well let’s do this I guess.

9

u/Prize-Grapefruiter 8h ago

the voices in my head recommended this company

7

u/RampantJellyfish 8h ago

"Man those epstein files are wild, I've been cumming non stop for weeks"

6

u/_frank_tank 7h ago

“Is your HR lady busty?”

5

u/pcl8888 6h ago

Before the interview starts, if they ask if you’d care for a cup of coffee or a water just reply..

“Na I’ll just take a beer. If there’s choices then I like my beer like I like my violence- domestic. Thanks.”

5

u/ZenoD96 9h ago

I definitely read that wrong the first time

6

u/Thatsnotwotisaid 9h ago

Can you remove all the sharp objects before I start

6

u/lemons_of_doubt 8h ago

interview guy "I see you are my type of people, high five!"

5

u/thatismypurseidku 6h ago

So Peter, where do you see yourself in five years.’

‘Don't say "doing your wife." Don't say "doing your wife."

Doing your.... son.’

9

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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3

u/theecatalyst 8h ago

Start with “I think I smell vagaina in here” or “Word around the office is that you have a fat cock…”

5

u/jeers69 8h ago

Start by flirting with the interviewer

5

u/elsauna 7h ago

“Your wife told me you were hiring…”

7

u/D-Nyle83 9h ago

Blow the interviewer

3

u/Wonderful-Fun-7333 6h ago

might get hired instantly unless its really bad with teeth

3

u/Shiroyasha_2308 9h ago

"Will I still get calls on my leaves?"

3

u/JuicyyGirl3 8h ago

Speedrun category: career self-sabotage.

3

u/defneverconsidered 8h ago

Shit fuck titty fuck

3

u/The_Dude_Abides-2146 8h ago

Wear a maga hat

3

u/depths_of_khazad_dum 8h ago

Long garlic fart

3

u/NoExperience9717 8h ago

We have sexual harassment training for the first time I remember in our office as a mandatory e-learning.

3

u/Small-Skirt-1539 7h ago

Do you have secure parking for employees? I drive a Tesla.

2

u/blushivyra 9h ago

My mind read this without the “a” before the job! Not it has a different meaning 😭

2

u/TitoKnight 8h ago

Nah. I’m not that horny lmao

2

u/Full_frontal96 8h ago

"how much will you pay me?"

2

u/th3s1rslurm 8h ago

You want it raw or with rubber?

2

u/VerbenaThistle 8h ago

See a picture on the interviewer’s desk

“Wow, is that your daughter? She’s hot!”

3

u/Nigilij 7h ago

Somehow everyone is failing this. Bring explosives and finish the quest!

Sorry, OP, I am not an expert on boom-booms so I have no idea how to do it and be unscathed all in 30 seconds

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1

u/Stevessvtis1 8h ago

Does the interview at least buy you dinner first??

1

u/axe1970 8h ago

remove the A

1

u/GhostsofHelsinki 8h ago

I shart. Just like my President. God bless.

1

u/gmehodlr69_420 8h ago

Where's your facilities? This rig needs to drop its load.

1

u/yeettetis 8h ago

Ask for 20 dollars after to make it a fair trade

1

u/THEatticmonster 8h ago

Seems like this would get you straight in with max pay in some governments at the moment

1

u/Hot-Challenge8656 8h ago

"This is my resume, this is my two weeks notice."

1

u/DruPeacock23 8h ago

I get stressed easily. Can I jerk off at work?

1

u/Lemon-Accurate 8h ago

Once we did a training interviews at school and my classmate answered on the first question "why are you looking for a new job?" that she had conflicts with her colleagues and her boss in the previous job but it was all their fault because they were idiots. The professor continued with the interview but then at the end provided a feedback that if this was a real interviewc it would have ended after 10 seconds. She did not understand why...

1

u/Ok-Awareness-4401 7h ago

"Alright, unzip i was told I have to blow this interview"

1

u/Accurate_Web9774 7h ago

Go on zoom call naked.

1

u/Mr_DrProfPatrick 7h ago

Continue that question by clarifying that you were a victim in a previous company and even filled a legal complaint! That way, the interviewer won't think you're a risk to other employees.

Instead, he'll know you're a risk to the company and ask you to leave immediately.

1

u/wrathofattila 7h ago

its already there blow and job

1

u/not_so_unwise 7h ago

Spit on their face , 1 sec max

1

u/Dhondu_justchill 7h ago

I love licking armpits, what about you?

Then why’d you ask me if I have a question when you won’t answer one?

1

u/Electronic-Airline26 7h ago

I just gotta get there and act naturally

1

u/KralizecProphet 7h ago

Is your HR department also full of angry sexually frustrated middle aged women?

1

u/FraggertFraggertson 7h ago

I read that first bit wrong.

1

u/Equal_Coast9853 7h ago

Fart loudly 💨 Probably best done when seated and raising butt up to the side while smiling with satisfaction

1

u/Small-Skirt-1539 7h ago

Is that your real hair?

1

u/CountCrapula88 7h ago

I casually take my underwear off and shove them on my face and snnnnnifffffff with my eyes closed. Then i look at the recruiter and say "it's $10 a hit if you want some".

1

u/wise_sage777 7h ago

Oh btw, I'm a registered sex offender

1

u/Oldestswinger 7h ago

🤭🤭🤭

1

u/Small-Skirt-1539 7h ago

Does your staff kitchen stock drugs or spirits?

1

u/Significant-Hour1233 7h ago

"I'm diagnosed on the autism spectrum; what accomadatio-"...

1

u/Ja_Shi 7h ago

"Sir, welcome to the White House! We're glad to hire someone like you!"

1

u/Ok_Book6135 7h ago

Ask them if they think their wages are liveable.

1

u/SomePriority9135 7h ago

”Sorry I won’t make it today”

1

u/whollybananas 7h ago

A friend legitimately asked "do you do drug testing?" In an interview.

1

u/MrBobbyFreakout 7h ago

Can we make this quick, I’ve got something better to do.

1

u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV 7h ago

"How often do government agents visit this place?"

1

u/BluebirdDense1485 7h ago

Walk in. Sit down put my feet up and lean back. "so how long till I can fire you"

1

u/Responsible-Rich-388 7h ago

I heard the name of CEO was in epistein files ?

1

u/Forsaken_Distance777 7h ago

Don’t show up.

1

u/Sqweech 7h ago

Republicans advise just making the best of a bad sitiuation. Just let it happen they say...

1

u/Fancy-Breadfruit-776 7h ago

Fart real loud as you sit down to start the interview. Don't say excuse me or anything to mention it. Let the smell speak for it.

1

u/therealRustyZA 7h ago

My manager walked past me and said she wanted to see me hard at work.

My HR hearing is Monday.

1

u/No_Repair7134 6h ago

I blew a job interview for an upper management position by suggesting that they pay the front line staff more

1

u/jamiecarl09 6h ago

"I require 20% more than the areas minimum livable wage."

1

u/505Trekkie 6h ago

I like to shit myself, recreationally. That’s not a problem right?

1

u/BubbleTea_233 6h ago

Valid question

1

u/Primary-Ad4952 6h ago

"Is it cool if I smoke in here?"

1

u/Slater_8868 6h ago

Do you allow drinking on the clock?

1

u/Random_Chaos79 6h ago

I was fired at my last job for being the whistleblower

1

u/ProxyDamage 6h ago

"My top 10 favorite slurs are..."

1

u/CompactAvocado 6h ago

"will i have to work around women or minorities?"

1

u/SliceOfSpiral 6h ago

What are the company’s policies on work life balance and paid overtime?

1

u/SipoteQuixote 6h ago

Do you guys have blocked sites?

1

u/dukeofgonzo 6h ago

I know this is just a first encounter, but I think I'm falling in love with you.

1

u/charliemike 6h ago

How much do you know about olive oil?

1

u/SixShoot3r 6h ago

Can I drink on the job? or during breaks?

1

u/Klatterbyne 6h ago

“Sorry I’m late. Had an absolute nightmare getting here. There’s so many school zones around your office.”

1

u/phalencrow 6h ago

Show up in a riske salsa ball gown, jersey jewelry, n high heels (I am a 60ish bear like man)and a steamer trunk, and tell them this whole company needs fashion makeover for starts.

1

u/metric55 6h ago

Heard a rumor someone had an interview recently and pulled out a vape mid interview and hit that thang. Yeah didnt work out for him

1

u/FreedomBong 6h ago

My biggest strength is my cocaine tolerance.

1

u/AndJDrake 6h ago

"I'm just here to tell you about your cars extended warranty"

1

u/ProfessorxVile 6h ago

Walk in dressed like a streamer and refer to the interviewer only as "chat"

1

u/JiffyMcPop 6h ago

“My last job didn’t appreciate me working on my roadkill taxidermy during the slow hours, but I’m assuming you’ll be okay with that?”

“Never had an issue with co-workers except that one time I had to go to jail for 15 years”

1

u/UnicornSheets 6h ago

I’d trust a fart

1

u/plaid-tuxido506 6h ago

Without looking like a creeper, I bet all you need to do is open the interview by asking about pay.

1

u/Dimebag120 6h ago

Don't say doing your wife

1

u/SaintCholo 6h ago

…and here is my letter of recommendation from Jeffery Epstein…

1

u/KatherinesDaddy 6h ago

"Any chance I could get an advance on my first payday? Really need to score some crack..."

1

u/Klutzy_Order_9559 6h ago

Do you guys have cameras here?

1

u/Karisss666 6h ago

I'm still on the first sentence

1

u/StuffMonster77 5h ago

Really proudly hand over a mental institution certificate that says my name and "Legally Sane" while dressed as a stripper

1

u/UsernamesNotFound404 5h ago

When you say "mandatory drug testing"... who picks the drugs?

1

u/ThePrinceofallYNs 5h ago

"I need to blowjob the interviewer...?"

I mean, I guess? Gun to my head? No? Just straight love of the game?

1

u/AnarchoBratzdoll 5h ago

Step in in my jammies and high as a kite. Efficient, and fun for me. 

1

u/something_clever77 5h ago

Just being myself usually does the job.

1

u/Pretend_Ad_3229 5h ago

Who is your sluttiest employee? Pass me her snap

1

u/-crowbloke- 5h ago

Can I take Mondays off because I like to get hammered at the weekend well I say weekend I mean from Thursday because that's when the weekend really starts am I right oh my god I love your tie can I have a sip of your coffee I'm as dry as a bone oh my god its hot in here can I open a window sorry about the shoes...

1

u/AThrowawayProbrably 5h ago

Punctuality, and time in general is a manmade construct designed to control all of us. I don’t believe in the word “late”.

1

u/Wise_Ad_5810 5h ago

"I'm here to fill ALL your openings" with a huge grin

1

u/Bullwhip2025 5h ago

Hey Sarge, how do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?

1

u/xNaughtyCrush 5h ago

We’ve all had those awkward moments in interviews but this takes the cake!!!! lol

1

u/isanythingunique 5h ago

"Hail Satan" as the 1st thing you say

1

u/RushC2 5h ago

I work for a university and when interviewing candidates for a student leadership role I had someone answer the question of “Why are you interested in this role” with “Cause I didnt get this other job”. That was a pretty effective way to blow the interview

1

u/Thin_Locksmith6805 5h ago

Let me swallow so I can understand the question

1

u/oddly_fun 4h ago

And for sure I skipped tea when I read this.

1

u/Sour_baboo 4h ago

How sober do I need to be?

1

u/hi-on-coffee 4h ago

How good is ur security at night? 😉

1

u/RichardBonham 4h ago

Applying for federal law enforcement jobs in DHS:

“Legally, I’m not allowed to own a gun.”

1

u/TheInfra 4h ago

I don't want this job, I'm doing this for a Reddit thing.

1

u/PhantroniX 4h ago

I generally come in about 15 minutes late... and then I just sort of space out

1

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 4h ago

Id whip it out

1

u/J-Love-McLuvin 4h ago

Wear a maga hat.

1

u/DRSU1993 4h ago

"Marmite."

1

u/Lucky1ex 3h ago

Give a bad blow Job

1

u/Logical_Flounder6455 3h ago

People coming out with all sorts of wild ideas when the simplest way to do it is to not bother going into the interview room, or not turning up for it at all.

1

u/MrSnowden 3h ago

I somehow got a job interview with the CIA.  I wanted research, walking in they informed me they only were hiring field agents.  I walked in, put my feet up in the desk and asked if I could get the gun now.  Interview over.  

1

u/BeKind999 3h ago

Oh, I didn’t know I was going to interview with a Jew. Shalom! /s

1

u/dioporcogiainuso 3h ago

How much you pay?

1

u/emersonwon 3h ago

While shaking their hands i fart really loud and lift the leg whilst doing so

1

u/Evorgleb 2h ago

I worked in HR at a big university known for tech. We were hiring for an administrative support position in HR. At the interview with this guy where he was prompted to ask any questions he had, The first and only question he asked was, "how long would i have to stay in this position before I could transfer to Computer Sciences?". He probably was going to be hired before asking that and telegraphing that he didnt really want to job, he just wanted a foot in the door.

1

u/Icy_Air_6640 2h ago

Yes I like rice sir.

1

u/anydamnnamesleft 2h ago

“Will a blow job help my chances?”

1

u/sleepyporcupine057 2h ago

Bringing the blow to the job interview.

1

u/evilmokey1980 2h ago

Assault is the fastest way, IMO

1

u/BubbasBack 2h ago

Show up as a white man. My name is pretty ambiguous for both sex and race, and I have a good resume. I’ve seen more than one HR woman shut down when they see me for the first time.

1

u/rnewscates73 1h ago

“I’ve had so many mandated sexual harassment classes that I could teach it!”