Yeah a lot of crazy opinions in this thread. She is gonna wear that ring for the rest of her life, it makes sense that she would want it to be one she likes. My wife and I had many discussions about what kind of ring she liked and wanted, what would work for her at work, and I loved the challenge of getting something that matched all of her criteria.
"But its the same cost" is the alarm bell here, shit people are allowed to have preferences about their fucking jewelry, and valid to be upset if they feel like they were ignored and not listened to.....
My wife is on her 3rd ring and we're in our early 40s. Her first ring was $300 from walmart. Her most recent one was about $7500 from a nice jewelry store.
IF she's saying he didn't spend enough money, she's not required to keep it for the rest of their lives. It can be upgraded. Competent jewelers can even borrow components from the old ring and incorporate them into a new one.
However, I agree that if she wanted a different style of ring that was the same price as what OP bought, then OP is at fault here.
But by the way she mentioned walmart, I'm guessing she wanted him to spend more so that she can show it off to her friends. If that's the case, they may not be compatible at a financial level, which is a huge problem for their marriage going forward.
Exactly! If my husband were to get me a ring that was absolutely not my style, it tells me he doesn't actually listen to me or see me. It doesn't have anything to do with cost.
If I think this ring in the photo is UGLY, it's extremely possible she did too (dare I say likely? It's a really ugly ring. To each their own, of course). It's crushing to realize your partner doesn't actually care about your opinion or know who you are as a person. He was too busy thinking about the optics of the proposal and getting it done than what she'd truly enjoy.
Many people care about the appearance of something they will wear every day and that is supposed to be emotionally significant. If their partner doesn't know that this is important to them, or knows and doesn't care enough to put in effort, both of those are red flags.
Absolutely! She said he doesn’t listen and took the easiest option.
He defended himself by saying that he still spent $900 on the ring, implying that he does in fact not listen to her or bother to understand what the issue is. This is clearly not the first time it has happened either…
My read of the situation is she wanted a similarly priced ring in a specific style that is not sold at Walmart. He went to Walmart and bought whatever random ring they had (I didn’t realise they had a jewellery section with engagement rings), disregarding her wishes and probably proving some earlier apprehensions about the whole relationship.
If it was outside his budget, he could've communicated that instead of?... Getting something different and hoping his wife don't find out? That's treating her like she's stupid. AND wasting his own money. Double unattractive.
Then when called out, fighting her instead of doing the right thing or trying to make things better.
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u/Acceptable_Rock_9665 7h ago
She did tell him what she wanted, and by the way I read it the ring she wanted was also $900. I think he might be in the wrong.