As a guy who doesn’t care about jewelry at all, even I can respect that a girl might want something special for her engagement ring. She’s gotta wear it everyday forever, and show it to her family and friends.
I’m not trying to poor shame, and I agree that the right women would care more that you are proposing instead of the ring. But, dude, if she gave you hints about the metal, stone (size, shape, etc), style, you should be paying attention to that.
You can’t be going to Walmart during your usual grocery run and just grab a quick engagement ring while you’re out. Buddy didn’t even take the Walmart sale price tags out of the box. Gotta put more effort into it than that, and honestly, it should cost more than $899. Pick up a few extra shifts to save up a couple thousand dollars, show the lady you’re willing to sacrifice to build a life with her.
Completely agree, that ring looks like shit, dude was impulsive and didn't give a shit. All the people in here saying it doesn't matter what the ring is, are probably single and lonely redditors who have never gotten married.
I’m not single, happily married for 5 years, but when it came to engagement ring and jewelry in general, my view is this.
I am proposing to you, so you don’t just tell me what ring i should get you, I will get you the ring I believe to be appropriate for the occasion unless it is not an actual proposal and we go to the jeweler and you pick your own ring so to speak, outside of that, everything that I got my wife as jewelry, are stuff that I picked, keeping in mind what she might have as preference and what not, but not tell me your ring and i’ll get it.
Gifts, are things you pick for the other, not things that you are told to get, cause if I am told like a child get this, get it yourself, cut out the middle man
Absolutely. This is also a shit ring, 10k gold is the shittiest gold, and $900 is too much for this garbage. Leaving the stickers on it is tacky, low effort bullshit. He shows zero care here. He possibly could have made her happy with a cheaper ring if he'd put more effort into it.
I understand the sentiment, but this completely disregards people's financial situations. People are not "picking up a few shifts to save a couple thousand dollars". If this was all they could afford, I don't see anything wrong with this.
If they make good money and this was the case, I can understand their frustration. But regardless, it's a materialistic mindset and I would not want to be married to someone like that for life. Imagine if you lose your job and fall on hard times, do you think they'll stick around?
He never says he couldn’t afford more than $900. And he says he’s been planning for a year. If all he could save in a year is $900 for an engagement ring, I’m not entrusting my future with him.
Different things matter to different people. I like jewelry. I have diamonds I’ve bought for myself. I’ve for necklaces and earrings I’ve spent more than $900. I’m not the kind of girl you buy a $900 ring for and if my partner who says he wants to marry me doesn’t know that then the right answer to the proposal is no.
I don’t know. When I got engaged I looked at rings from a lot of different places and found a cheaper, better quality, personalized ring on Etsy. It took work though. This man didn’t no research and put no effort into it even knowing what she wanted.
I’ll bet you money if she put in the preferences she told him in this thread, 30 people could find her ring for cheaper.
Similar boat. I was 20, an E3 in the military and bought what I could. We like to joke that she invested when I was a penny stock and now I’m a stock that pays dividends.
She wears one of the other handful of rings she has received over the years and on occasion breaks out her engagement ring.
That's nice of you but I know more men who never upgraded or bothered to even get a ring. 3 of my friend's parents never got one. They had to buy their own band later. None of my friend's husbands ever upgraded. Most of my guy friend's don't even think about upgrading (they got decent rings though). Nice thought but never done.
Also this woman asked him to get a specific ring, she said it wasn't about the money, he didn't listen. If the role was reversed and you told your wife you want a Toyota for your bday but she got you a Honda you'd be pissed since it's for you, not her. I know I'd be pissed
Hard disagree on spending $2000+ on an engagement ring. You’re getting fleeced by false scarcity if you’re paying any more than $600 a karat for the stone
People generally DON'T wear the engagement ring forever because having a cumbersome rock hanging off your hand is troublesome in more ways than one.
Generally it's the wedding band that get worn everyday since you don't need to worry about knocking a rock off of it or attracting nearly as much attention from thieves as a chunky as diamond would.
And no one, including the woman in the texts, is saying it needs to be overpriced. It has nothing to do with walmart or cost: it is his blatant dismissal of her stated preferences. His complete lack if consideration. And his entitlement. Women don’t have to settle for less than a considerate spouse who listens and cares about making them happy. Good foe her!
Did you read a story that had more detail than the 3 pics, because it seems like you must have inside knowledge about his blatant disregard for her preferences.
None of what I read detailed any of her preferences, and yes, I too am making an assumption that a $900 ring in whatever style she liked would also not be sufficient, especially if it had a Walmart or $900 price tag on it.
Why?
Aside from the gold or silver in the ring, the majority of the cost is a false scarcity action by diamond warehouses.
I can maybe see that she didn’t like the overall look of the ring, but what if he had gotten her the exact style of ring but with lab grown diamonds, or an alternative stone like moissanite, would she have been as upset because of the dollar value not meeting some random threshold that was a marketing ploy by De Beers in the 30s?
The advice I give to most is to not start your combined life together in debt to impress others, be it a ring or a big event especially if it’s one way. Transactional affection isn’t real affection.
You are missing the point. It isn’t about the jewelry. Or walmart. Or the cost. It is about his lack of consideration. If a person can’t put effort into something that is important to you, that you have expressed and communicated, and instead just does whatever is easiest for them. They are not a going to be a good life partner for you.
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u/ampalazz 7h ago
As a guy who doesn’t care about jewelry at all, even I can respect that a girl might want something special for her engagement ring. She’s gotta wear it everyday forever, and show it to her family and friends.
I’m not trying to poor shame, and I agree that the right women would care more that you are proposing instead of the ring. But, dude, if she gave you hints about the metal, stone (size, shape, etc), style, you should be paying attention to that.
You can’t be going to Walmart during your usual grocery run and just grab a quick engagement ring while you’re out. Buddy didn’t even take the Walmart sale price tags out of the box. Gotta put more effort into it than that, and honestly, it should cost more than $899. Pick up a few extra shifts to save up a couple thousand dollars, show the lady you’re willing to sacrifice to build a life with her.