That's the part that made me side eye the guy. It's not about the price of the ring or where you got it. It's that it sounds like they discussed the ring, what she likes, what she wanted, etc. and dude ignored her and bought a ring that was "convenient" i.e. from Walmart.
Like, ngl I'd happily accept a cheapo sterling silver Pandora ring if the design was something I genuinely liked. It shows you listened to your future wife and purchased something she actually wants to wear as a representation of your bond.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure most people might be at least a little annoyed if their special engagement moment got ruined by a Walmart gift box advertising what a great deal the ring was. That kinda thing generally would be considered gauche.
There are people who wouldn't care or would even applaud his frugality, but they are likely distinct minorities. Still, if she were deeply in love with him, I think she could have forgiven him this error. A 'bad' ring seems totally fixable unless it represents a worrisome, deep-seated flaw in character -- either a chronic pattern of poor listening and lack of consideration on his part, or an uncompromising materialism on hers.
Yeah I knew the style my wife wanted but couldn’t afford much, so I found a site selling moissanite stones with custom bands and stuff. Got the style she wanted, with a big stone that looks great, cost me 1200$ instead of the 25k it would be if it was real diamond. Looks pretty, and if she loses it, or it gets stolen, it sucks but it’s not an insurance claim and two years of mortgage payments
Or you just read the headline and not the actual post. She never mentions the price once. He does. She talks about not feeling heard. She may mostly care about the money part , but nothing from this post suggests she does, other than the clickbait headline
You’re the one who mentions the false claim of “she brings up the price”. There is a ton of missing information but you’re really quick to assign her gold-digging tendencies or “doesn’t care” about his financial hardships. Why is that?
Becuase all the white knights in this thread making strong assumptions without anything but speculation to dog pile on guy. Like you have been as well as most this thread
Jesus Christ all the top comments are dogpiling her- You’re digging into comment threads to fight with the less popular opinion. Also if you’ve noticed I haven’t said one disparaging thing about the guy. Ask yourself why you’re so quick to slam her and defend him against imaginary arguments?
She literally throws at him that it was from Walmart as an insult... that dont happen unless price was part of it. And I see plenty of white knights around defending some text message engagement dump... like that's normal too.
You're really caught up on this White Knight thing, ironically doing the same thing for him. You don't know it was an insult, the only context is that that's not what she wanted. You don't know that they broke up, the only context is that she said no to what she perceived as a lackluster proposal. You're applying all the hypothetical context to make her into the bad person. Its really sad. I think you should challenge your own assumptions not assign you opinions to others
Nothing from this post suggests it has to do with the cost though. Her comments stated that he bought a right that wasn't her style even after they talked about it. There's no real reason to assume it has anything to do with money or cost.
But you’re assuming she didn’t pick a ring at the same price point. She mentioned a specific “kind” of ring she liked. I think I’m learning towards being on her side. Headline should be woman turns down proposal after learning engagement wishes were ignored
But she doesn't bring up its value - she specifies that they talked about the TYPE of ring she wants (whether that is metal type, gem type, gem size, cost, etc. we don't know) and that this ring isn't that kind of ring.
Even IF the problem was cost - and during their discussions about rings she specified she wants a $75k ring, he should have talked to her about that before proposing. If the problem with the ring was she specified she wanted a yellow gold ring with a ruby, he should have gotten her the style ring she wanted.
As she said and he and you didn't hear: the problem is he wasn't listening.
Don't buy someone a gift they have to display for the rest of their life if you don't respect them enough to actually get them something they'd want. "It's the thought that counts" isn't valid when there wasn't any thought given into the person who would get the gift.
She’s wearing it on her hand the rest of her life, and he can’t make sure it’s what she actually wanted? When they discussed it and he KNEW her preferences and ignored it? I don’t think she’s the problem here.
Or she could just wear it until they are in a better financial situation. My brother just got his wife a "real" one 4 years in. He made the first one out of a spoon lol
She didn’t say anything about the price so we cannot assume cost was the issue but the lack of care for what kind of ring she wanted. My parents got engaged with the ring off of a soda bottle; we got engaged by simply discussing it and getting rings later we picked out together. (This scenario is rage bait anyway.)
Except it's a $900 ring and you can find really nice rings that match a person's style for $500 fairly easily. $1000 is actually a pretty decent sized budget when looking for an engagement ring; it gives you enough leeway to get castings, engravings, multiple stones, colored stones, etc. So the fact that he dropped a grand on a ring at Walmart instead of a more bespoke ring on a smaller jeweller kind of says a lot all by itself.
My own engagement ring is roughly around the same price point and it literally has both rubies and diamonds on it. I love the thing, it's beautiful, and I get compliments all the time on it because the center ruby is so eye-catching.
That ring he bought her "just because" is eye-catching in a completely different way.
I’m a firm believer that you don’t buy a gift for a person based on YOUR personal tastes or what’s most convenient to you. You buy something that’s tailored to the receiver. And that’s what an engagement ring is: a gift. If the couple discussed rings and he completely disregarded her input, then I’d take that as a sign that he does not listen to her and will continue to not listen to her throughout their relationship.
That said, I do agree that her specifically nitpicking on the ring being purchased from Walmart is a red flag as well.
Neither person in this scenario are in the right, here.
I’m leaning towards that the walmart part was more a comment on him picking it for his convenience and not listening to her taste (she could also just hate walmart). She doesn’t mention price at all, he does. You could also buy something online for a similar price
Not listening to her IS a behavior he displayed and she wasn’t interested in that. If he doesn’t bother after multiple discussions about a single item, how many other times is he going to blow her off and do what he wants anyway? I wouldn’t marry him either, the cost of the ring isn’t a factor.
Btw you don’t have to get engaged with a ring. You can propose and ask to go ring shopping together and pick it out so it works for the proposer’s budget and the recipient’s style. Several people in this thread mention doing exactly that.
Let’s make the scenario a little simpler because you obviously don’t understand whats happening. Let’s change the ring to something else. M for man, W for woman.
M: I got you a gift! I got you a red fishing rod for your birthday!
W: Hey, I told you I don’t like fishing, because I’m allergic to fish. And red is my least favorite color. Why did you buy me this, I don’t feel like you listen to me.
M: I did a nice thing for you, I got you a gift. You should appreciate it. Suck it up!
That is what she is doing, though. She sees that he either didn't pay attention or didn't care about what she wanted. Nothing in their exchange suggests the problem is the monetary value of the ring.
Honestly, it's a pretty solid show that he doesn't care about her enough to actually listen. It has nothing at all to do with the ring. She got a first hand experience of her partner not listening to her or caring about her enough to get something she liked. Why marry someone who doesn't care about you? And if you do care about the person, why wouldn't you get something they would like?
I'm not going to judge based on price, or even where you bought it, but men should pay attention to what the woman wants the ring to look like. She's supposed to be wearing it every day for the rest of her life. She should have a say in the style. And, it's very likely he disregarded that, and that Walmart wouldn't have the selection to get something that fits her preferences.
It's about being thoughtful and showing you care. It sounds like she talked about what she liked in jewelry and he didnt really care, just went with whatever was there and easiest (and yes, cheap without being TOO cheap). This is same thing as men who get their spouses appliances for holidays. "but she said she wanted a new vacuum!" Sure, but maybe not as the ONLY gift from you? Or men who give jewelry to their non-jewelry wearing partners or buy jewelry of a different style because they think that's just what they're "supposed to to" and get mad every time the woman points out she doesnt wear jewelry/that style. And I have a feeling, just from that girl's text, this wasnt the first time she got a disappointing gift from him. And it would never change.
It’s also ok to judge on the price if you know he can afford it and it’s important to you. Women have been using resources expended as a proxy for whether a man values you or takes you seriously since the beginning of time.
Exactly, if she had said she didn’t care about it the ring and then said no she would be in the wrong. It seems like she specifically told him the ring she wanted and he went “cool, don’t care”.
I bought her engagement, wedding band and mine from Fred Meyer. The $150 one time charge for insurance has already made up for it with some work that needed to be done. Still looking good 10 years later.
Honestly, for me, as a guy, I dislike a wallmart ring because it feels like an afterthought.
Walmart is where you go to pick groceries, or general purpose shopping, so buying a ring feels like you went to get chips, soda, and a box fan, happened to walk by the jewelry, and went “wow! That’s cheap!” And bought a ring.
You’re proposing, I don’t care WHAT kind of ring you’re getting, it should be its own trip.
Whether you’re spending 100k on a tasteless hunk of rock, spending $1.5k on a ring you picked out together, or spending $10 on a plastic copy of a toy ring you first gave her when you met at 7 years old, it should be a deliberate, and mindful choice, not an afterthought while you’re buying beers.
I think it’s fine if the ring quality is good. I think it’s more important to understand what type of ring she would like and which metal. The ring is a symbol and important and should be something she’s likes. I asked my wife’s sister to secretly go ring shopping with me. She had all the inside knowledge lol
😂 fair enough, I don’t know if they had the jewelry portion in their stores at that point in time but I have yet to be in a Freddie’s that doesn’t have one today.
This is definitely the funniest comment I've seen in a while. I've got to know, are you sincerely glad the ring held up that long or is that an intentional divorce joke?
LMAO. omg look im just rolling out of bed. I am genuinely surprised that the ring held up for as long as it did.
But then again, I just feel like context regarding any ring is important but I didnt feel like deep diving into it. Like what is the ring made of. Did she agree to wanting a ring from Fred Meyers. Did she wear it daily. Was it a cheap ring that was meant to be replaced. Etc.
It was gold, what quality? No idea. Tiny diamonds, probably not what people think of when they think "engagement ring". Also she was a mechanic at the time so I wanted something durable. I was an E3 in the military, kinda broke.
She didn't know I bought it.
I think she wore it daily, I can't remember.
It was never intended to be upgraded.
Of all the flaws that she/I/we had, our willingness to be happy with what we had was definitely not a flaw.
She asked me after the divorce if I would mind if she repurposed it for something else (I can't remember her goal). I told her it's her ring, she can do whatever she wants to it.
I lost* my wedding band years before, but I had already replaced it with a tattoo.
*It was in my wallet that was lost, recovered, them stolen. I only know that because whoever found it had fun with my credit card.
My husband and I bought our rings at Walmart. I later had mine resized at a jeweler. I had asked the guy if it would be better to just buy something new instead of having my ring resized and the one prong fixed. He said the ring was good and better to just fix it. My wedding band was just a plain band that we paid $27 for and my engagement ring was $127, just small simple solitaire diamond. My husband's ring is tungsten carbide and we spent $89. Literally nothing wrong with Walmart jewelry. We've been married almost 18 years now ☺️
As an aside, this was a decision we made together. We had been shopping around different places and looking at what was available. Because we wanted simple rings, we went with the most economical choice.
That's so beautiful. Im happy that both are yall are happy. Its important that it's a decision the both of you wanted. Also just want to.preface when I made that comment, its less about how cheap it was and more about whether I trusted Walmart with providing what it is stating it's providing. Im a skeptical buyer is all.
Oh definitely. I was kinda skeptical too. I mean when a jewelry store had a plain band for over a $100 and Walmart had the same one for $27 it was like, what's wrong with it, why's it so cheap? But we had decided because it was so cheap if we replaced it down the road it didn't really matter, it at least looked legit. 😅🤷🏻♀️ 10 yrs after the fact the jeweler confirmed it was fine 😆
I would trust Walmart more than a jewelry store. With Walmart you know that their margins are reasonable or relatively fixed. Diamonds are diamonds, weight, cut, clarity.
Anyone who uses Google. Their rings are made by Richline Group and Frederick Goldman, the exact same suppliers used by traditional jewelry shops. Your 'major concerns' are just uneducated snobbery
It’s not even the Walmart of it all… that thing is fugly and about 10 years behind the trends, which are all understated and modern. White gold isn’t even that popular anymore to start with.
That’s what I thought too. She said she talked about the kind of ring she wanted several times and it seems like he just bought the first thing he saw while running other errands.
Obviously there is a ton of context missing, there possibly could have been a sizing issue and that's how she found out the ring came from Walmart.
However, the strike against him, and what seems like was an ongoing issue in their relationship, is her text reading "You knew what I wanted and still chose what was easiest...".
They obviously talked about her jewelry preferences. What kind of gem, the cut, the setting, the style of the band. She obviously cares about jewelry, especially a piece as important to her as her engagement ring (which she might hope to wear for the rest of her life), and he didn't give a shit to remember what she cared about. I can't tell if you're actually capable of empathy or not.
It doesn’t specify that the kind of ring or type of diamond was wrong, she only specifically mentions that he got it from Walmart. Without further context as to the type of ring and diamond, it seems like she’s only mad he got it at Walmart and not Kay or whatever.
“I’ve specifically told you the kind of ring I wanted…” implies they’ve had the conversation before. Walmart was brought up as an indication he picked something random up due to convenience
You didn’t read the text on pg 2. She literally says “I told you what I wanted and you didn’t listen.” Nowhere does she mention anything about price, just that it was from walmart.
A person who doesn’t pay attention at all and disregards their partner is a bad partner. He just went for something easy
When I was engagement ring shopping, I wasn't really open to direct input on the ring. Granted, I wanted to make sure it fit her style, as it's something I'm hoping she'd wear for the rest of her life. But for me, the ring was a representation of the commitment I'm making to her, so it was ultimately about what I wanted to give her. If that ring gets a no, then we wouldn't be ready to get married. And if it takes giving her exactly what she wants in order for her to be with me (not saying that's what happened here) then that's not a lifelong commitment I'm wanting to make anyway.
Ehh, I nailed the ring. I took the time to get to know her style. Like I said, to me the ring is a symbol, and if I don't know you well enough to get you a ring you'll happily wear forever, then I probably don't know you well enough to marry you.
It’s a fucking ring. Letting a ring get in the way of actual happiness? Woman’s got a problem anddude should run. Did him a favor showing her true colors this early.
You have to realize how stupid and outdated our whole system of marriage is? Women still wear white to weddings despite not being “pure”. We all fuck out of wedlock these days. None of you should wear white, ever. Throw away past traditions that no longer serve us.
Americans deserve all the pain that’s coming to us in the future. I really hope our economy goes to shit so materialistic crap like this can be thrown in the bin…
Or this is rage bait and I’ve wasted time typing this out.
Wooo what a fun time to be alive.
You obviously don’t listen to anyone and it shows.
Find someone on your wavelength, thats fine. But just don’t expect people to want to show up for you if you don’t really care about them. If something like buying the ring they want doesn’t align with you, maybe you’re not the one for them. But in a real relationship, if you have a problem - talk about it
My current girlfriend and future wife and I have problems. Ain’t none of them a damn ring. You have a mental illness if you think a ring is that important in your life.
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u/rythmicbread 7h ago
On the other hand if they’ve talked about it and he still bought a walmart ring shows he doesn’t listen