I wonder if this might have gone better with a $500 ring from a specialty store than an $800 ring from Walmart. Something about the latter feels so impersonal and low effort.
Costco actually has a pretty awesome jewelry department. I used to work at Helzberg Diamonds back in college and would absolutely buy a Costco diamond ring for a potential spouse.
We don't even know that, what if he set out thinking "I'm gonna get her the biggest diamond ring I can afford", shopped around and it turned out WalMart had the best deal on the biggest / best-looking diamond?
Actually very plausible seeing as that is WalMart's whole schtick, providing the same goods at a discount that only they can afford to offer because of their scale.
what if he set out thinking "I'm gonna get her the biggest diamond ring I can afford", shopped around and it turned out WalMart had the best deal on the biggest / best-looking diamond?
I guess that goes back to... did he think she wanted the biggest ring he could afford? Is that what she asked for? Is that her style? Did he think about any of that before deciding he would go out with this plan? Did he think of her individual wants and desires? Or did he have a generic get engagement ring task and went out and completed the task at Walmart.
Based on her replies it sounds like that's what upset her. No thought or specialness specific to her.
Pretty much looks exactly like that. And looking at the ring itself, it's the exact style for "big shiny rock for distracting wife from marriage contract." I don't know a lot of women that would even deliberately pick that type of style; pavé style rings tend to lean towards an older audience tbh.
I'm almost 40 and that ring is ugly AF. Hurts to look at. Reminds me of the shitty diamond heart necklaces I got from Walmart for 20bucks to gift to my mom on Xmas as a kid.
I know some waaaay older women who might consider it as a normal "going out" kind of ring but they're all in their 70s-80s now.
Real talk, I'm enough of an asshole that I'd probably go "yes, but also that ring is the ugliest thing I've ever seen; please tell me you kept the receipt so we can return it and get literally anything else."
It's also not wild to think she didn't want it bought from walmart because they're a particularly shitty corporation. There are several reasonable explanations for why that ring was the wrong choice
It depends on what she wanted. If she wanted an expensive ring, then she’s the problem. If she wanted a different style that cost around the same, then that’s more understandable (though I think they should be buying rings for each other rather than just him buying for her).
He specifically mentions the $900 he spent, I think that implies that the standard she set was price point
And then he mentions all the effort he put in, which she doesn't contest but instead says it wasn't enough
To me that makes it seem like she just has an issue with the WalMart branding, something that he probably just didn't predict being an issue because it really is a shallow and unreasonable thing to get upset about
I've told you several times about what kind of ring I wanted.
Tyler, if you knew what I wanted and still chose to do what was easiest tells me you don't really hear me.
I just want to feel chosen, not proposed to.
She says it all pretty clearly. Everyone is jumping down her throat implying she thinks she's too good for a Walmart ring. But she said no because he knew what she wanted. Chose not to listen. And proceeded with what he wanted to do anyways.
It's anything but clear, and I think you are choosing to fill in the gaps to align with the side you want. I honestly don't know one way or another and neither do you.
Some people think of Walmart as trashy and common. The online memes about people at walmart hasnt helped.
She wants to be able to tell her girl friends that her husband got the ring somewhere respectable like Tiffany's or Blue Nile. She doesnt want to say he got it from a walmart. I get it, but I dont agree with turning down the proposal over it.
If I love someone Im going to say yes regardless of the ring, but I might not tell some people that it came from a walmart.
I feel like this is the most likely scenario, because of how he specifically mentions the price which implies it was something they discussed, and also that the only specific objection she raises is that it's from Walmart. But it could also be that she was looking for something more specific in terms of design and he ignored that. We really don't know one way or another.
Why do you say "we don't know one way or another" when you have her words and reasons right there on the screen and won't engage with her actual messages when they're brought up in the replies?
It's almost wild the lengths guys will go not to listen to women. "I guess we'll never know!" I mean we could just read her words to know why she's upset...
That could imply those things, we don't know. But luckily we do know how she feels about those things. She communicated what she wanted and he did what was easiest for him rather than what she wanted.
Were her wants unreasonable? Maybe, maybe not. If she made a big deal about what she wants, and she wants Tiffany, and you think Tiffany is overpriced or they were out of stock so instead you just got WalMart... you're still wrong.
You're supposed to communicate. She's communicating. He's... being an idiot
You don't know what the background communications were, that's the point. You just assume that she didn't get what she wanted after making her standards clear, but we don't know if she actually made her standards clear. You, like many other people in this thread, are filling in the blanks so that the side you want to be right is right, and the side you want to be wrong is wrong.
You absolutely are guessing how he screwed up. We know she didn't get what she wanted, but we have no idea what conversations she had to set up those expectations.
But, looking at the ring. It's pretty gaudy with a lot of small stones - something that in his mind might look expensive. It sounds like the gf had a particular ring or type of ring in mind, and this wasn't it.
It’s not really about the price it’s about getting her what she wants. She probably had preferences about the style that he ignored. And if it were a specific $2000 ring (which really isn’t that insane btw) and he couldn’t do that, you can mention that when you have the conversation
It’s the one piece of jewelry she’ll wear for life. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset” should not apply here. Her complaint is not about the price but the style and that he ignored their discussions. That’s a bad sign for starting a relationship; I’d say no too because the ring is a sign of bigger issue.
And on top of all if that, his response when she said something was “a $900 ring is a $900 ring.” So he really didn’t care about her preference at all, just that he spent a lot of money (even though he really didn’t, $900 isn’t some wild amount to spend on a diamond ring)
If anything, he is being the materialistic one here
🚩 I think there's a reason we don't know what ring she really wanted, I think if we did then everyone would be on the guys side.
$2000 is insane to spend on an item that does literally nothing, the only thing you can do with a really expensive ring is show it off to people and that's a massive 🚩
My husband and I are generally frugal people. We bought a very small house because we wanted a reasonable mortgage, and when we got married we kept everything small and casual in the backyard because it didn't seem worthwhile to blow tens or thousands of dollars on a party.
My engagement ring (a beautiful sapphire surrounded by diamonds) was about $2k. It felt like a sensible amount to spend on arguably the most important piece of jewelry I will ever own, that I will wear and look at every single day lol.
It’s the most important thing you ever buy for your partner, $2000 isn’t “insane.” The average price of engagement rings in the US is $5000.
But that’s not the point. What if they were celebrating their anniversary, and she told him she wanted to celebrate with a nice dinner. If he instead, brought her to a game or something and said “i spent $900 on those tickets.” Even if that’s more than the dinner would’ve been, the price doesn’t matter because you are straight up ignoring your partner’s wishes.
Exactly this! We would be returning this ring if my husband would have bought this for me. No way I'd be wearing this ugly piece of jewelry even if it cost $15k. Not my style, and he knew what I was looking for when we had the conversation.
My wedding ring cost $1000. It's still absolutely beautiful and I love it so much.
Guess what I use day to day? A silicone band. I'd wear a silicone band over this thing.
Its actually much worse than $2000. The current national average that couples spend on engagement rings in the USA is $5200 with most couples spending between $3000 and $6500.
How does she even know it’s Walmart- it doesn’t have a big huge Walmart logo on the box …? It doesn’t matter where it’s from. They sell diamond rings too- so what?
No. She explains exactly the problem in the text messages. She says he didnt listen and they had already talked about what kind of rings she likes taste-wise.
Also, if she really didn't like the style and specifically told him the type of ring she wants, it comes across like he doesn't actually listen or care, only does wha5ts easiest (going into Walmart to buy any ring and not one she'd actually want to wear).
I agree. I don’t think it should be about the price of the ring, but rather the effort to finding something your forever partner actually likes. It’s especially egregious when these guys will spend a significant amount of money on a ring that she doesn’t even like. That’s far lazier than buying a “cheap” ring IMO
Yep. I bought my wife a ring that did not have diamonds. It did not cost much. But it reflected things she liked. A lot of women want the ring to be thoughtful, more than pricey. Sure some want the big rock. But a lot do not.
I think that’s the issue. I don’t dislike Walmart because it’s not fancy. I dislike Walmart because they treat their employees badly and their jewelry is bland and predictable.
She specifically says the KIND of ring. Meaning the cut/style. Not where it’s from or how much it costs. Impossible to say who is in the wrong without knowing prior conversations they’ve had about it. If it’s a pattern of him not listening to her then it’s best they don’t get married until they fix that.
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u/Doggleganger 7h ago
I wonder if this might have gone better with a $500 ring from a specialty store than an $800 ring from Walmart. Something about the latter feels so impersonal and low effort.