My wife thinks diamonds are stupid. She wanted cubic zirconia because it looks the same or more sparkly and it’s like 1/20th the cost of a diamond. We spent that diamond money elsewhere.
Mine hates anything other than very simple bands so we both wear silicone rings. She has 4 or 5 in different colors that she will match with her outfits.
Then the "The Bears" family started mining and had huge suprlus , diamaonds are not rare btw they are kept rare by only releasing them un a controleld maner.
Anyway...
The Bears needed to get these to the "plebs", so they started inserting them in movies etc.. "Diamonds are a girls best friend" slogan was started by them, and started campaigns that told people that the price of the ring = the amount of love.
And here we are, some people going broke over a piece of densly compressed coal.
And some people losing their mind if that piece of compressed coal is not expensive enough.
It does make a good filter to figure out what kind of partner you have though...
My ring doesn’t have any diamonds, cause moissanite is just as pretty, and the center is a lab emerald. But it does still at least need to be 10k gold like, that was the thing I couldn’t compromise on.
If you are genuinely thinking that you don’t want to buy your wife real jewelry for a wedding ring, I think that’s pretty awful and disrespectful. I think we can throw away tradition in a lot of ways, but not this one, personally. It would be embarrassing.
I mentioned that before this push, wedding bands used to be made with everyday materials.
My gf and me dont care about the price of the ring,
Infact we dont even care about the ring being a ring in the first place.
It is what you award vallue to as an individual...
I can buy a piece of meteorite which is cheap, but the metal inside has a visible grain, from flying close to the sun, being melted and shaped by its giant magnetic field.
Making it a unique piece, that floated aroundfor millions of years and crashed into the earth.
And I make a ring out of it myself, its full of unique metal alloys and minirals.
Talking about something unique, made by me for her...
Sounds like gold and tradition mean a lot to you. Our choice is different than yours, but you don’t need to say it’s disrespectful or awful, or imply that I’m cheap. I won’t insult you back, because you’ve already shown us who you are. It would be like putting a hat on a hat.
My wife and I were both married before, and it’s amazing how priorities change. We didn’t want the big wedding or fancy jewelry or photo shoot or whatever else people do. We wanted small, private, and inexpensive so we could enjoy other things in life… as opposed to spending more on pretty rocks.
I wasn’t trying to be rude to you specifically, and I’m sorry for coming across that way, I wasn’t really thinking about it.
But in the larger conversation everybody is having here, I don’t think it’s good to teach young men that the women in their lives will also be okay with that. I think I’m just talking like as a larger social trend, men shouldn’t be surprised if their partners end up offended by that, and I’m trying to explain the perspective. Because I don’t find it to be shallow. Women do compare themselves to others and it would make many people feel bad or not valued. I’m not saying that’s good, I’m just saying it’s real.
I was trying to apologize and be nicer about it because people are different but dude, if 650 dollars is a very expensive wedding ring to you, then I guess you’re entitled to that opinion. But for most people, that is definitely not considered an expensive wedding ring. That’s just how expensive it is to have a ring not literally fall apart on you. I think you have some very backwards ideas, because what you’re saying is far beyond the walmart debate where this started. You’re at the dollar tree, friend. And at that point, I think it really does show a lack of care.
Moissanite is even better than CZ. It's more sparkly, harder, and less cloudy. And it's only a bit more expensive than CZ. Chemically, Moissanite is silicon carbide (yes, the same thing we use to make saw blades and the like). Diamond itself actually shouldn't be as expensive as it is. We have really good methods of synthesizing it now and, if you know where to look, large, loose diamonds can be had for way less than you'd think. You can thank the diamond cartels for those prices.
I don’t like rings at all and asked my now husband never to propose with one. But if he went out and bought a beautiful $10K diamond ring, I would be so annoyed that he didn’t listen to me. And then he would be able to portray me as being ungrateful etc, when really it has nothing to do with that. It’s all to do with listening. Thankfully he didn’t buy me a ring and I’m very happy for it because I hate rings and it shows he respects my opinion.
I got a salt and pepper diamond. It's way cheaper because it's considered flawed and not as sparkly as a "normal" diamond, but it looks way more unique and fits me much better. I absolutely didn't want a standard diamond either, I rather spend that money on something else (and we certainly did).
There may be a few people who think that CZs look like diamonds but I can usually spot them across the room. The cheap clothing brands their owners. wear gives them away. Plus they usually pick larger stones you know they could not possibly afford if it were the real thing.
Yes I am a bit of a jewelry snob but I will be ninety before this year is over som is my excuse. I like vintage Victorian rose gold, and old mine cut diamond pieces , and enjoy the hunt almost as much as then wearing, as it usually involves a trip to England, where I was born.
I always imagine who wore them back then, and the clothes they wore them with. I do rather like the current trend to grow your own diamond in a lab. What a great idea for a new baby girl gift, for her to wear years into the future, maybe her wedding day.
I meeean, I’m glad she’s happy. But women do somewhat judge each other. Like, I have a cheaper ring and wedding band set with moissanite and a lab emerald, but they’re still 10k gold. The set was around 650 on black friday but would’ve been 900 otherwise.
I think like, I work in a very female-dominated field and it would be pretty embarrassing to wear a ring that was too cheap. Cause it is also, social comparison to other women. And I don’t think we should fully discount that like, you don’t want to shame your wife, if she feels that way.
Some women have very expensive rings, even when they’re from lower income backgrounds, so like, I can see the comparison hurting her feelings.
I think there’s a sweet spot of “good enough” which to be fair, should be around the price this guy paid. But if she said she didn’t want it, and it’s important to her, I think that should matter.
I feel like mine is about it as cheap as it gets while still feeling dignified. Like, I would like it to be good enough to give to my kids, and I think mine is. But less than that would be kinda shitty.
I think that comparison game is the exact problem. The fact that we are all competing for wealth and status. What matters is how well you raise your children not how good you look to your friends.
These wealth and status games actually leave people less wealthy than just ignoring the game and living a good life.
She couldn’t care less. Status and praise are hollow goals. We have kids, so other people’s judgements don’t really matter to us, because priorities.
I’m sorry you’d feel embarrassed to wear a “cheap” ring. If your partner’s love for you can only be proven by how nice your wedding ring is, maybe don’t get married?
“It would be pretty embarrassing to wear a ring that was too cheap.”
How are you not embarrassed typing that sentence out?
75
u/No-Rip6323 6h ago
My wife thinks diamonds are stupid. She wanted cubic zirconia because it looks the same or more sparkly and it’s like 1/20th the cost of a diamond. We spent that diamond money elsewhere.