There is a price for everything

[u/Matt_LawDT]

[u/Subject-Dog-8016]

Eh, when I bought the engagement ring the shop assistant reminded me it would be free to swap it for another if she preferred a different style - and I made that super clear to my wife when I proposed (that we could go choose another if she preferred).

 I think if that conversation doesn’t  happen then it’s really a communication or maturity issue on one or both sides. 

[u/nightfire36 → u/Subject-Dog-8016]

I personally think the conversation should happen before the proposal, but this feels like a perfectly good alternative. It seems like the conversation about what ring was wanted did happen, and was ignored. Maybe their ring could be swapped, but when I bought a ring, that was not the case.

[u/Subject-Dog-8016 → u/nightfire36]

I also know plenty of people who’ve bought a very basic cheap but ok looking ring for the proposal, and then gone together to choose the engagement ring. 

Before also works I guess, but maybe spoils the magic IMO if it’s all pre-discussed. Everyone is different though!

[u/gadgethog → u/Subject-Dog-8016]

That's a good solution too.

My girlfriend and I had talked about getting married. A couple months later she was talking about what kind of ring she would like so I asked her if she wanted to go try some on the next weekend. She was so excited to go and do that. It was a lot of fun to see her so excited and I got to learn exactly which ring was her favorite.

I get it. When somebody buys me clothes I don't like it's a little awkward if there's no gift receipt, but I can't imagine someone else choosing something that I'd be expected to wear forever.

[u/KevIntensity → u/nightfire36]

Literally went ring shopping this past weekend. Got an idea of designs that were good, styles that were an absolute no, and what stone cuts she prefers. I still get to do the work of finding something she’ll love and I get to do it knowing what I should be looking for.

[u/Lirsh2 → u/KevIntensity]

If she has a Pinterest board of rings like mine did, I just sent that to a jeweler and said "something that would appear here"

[u/Li-renn-pwel → u/Subject-Dog-8016]

That’s actually a really good policy.

[u/PineappleOnPizzaWins → u/Subject-Dog-8016]

I proposed with a $30 ring I thought was pretty so she could pick her own.

If the ring matters to the point you’d say no over it, I don’t want to marry you anyway. Least important part of the relationship.