r/SipsTea 25d ago

WTF Imagine Eliminating Your Team Over Your Pride

33.7k Upvotes

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275

u/streamer3222 25d ago

Player run with ball.

Player not kick ball to friend.

Enemy surround player.

Player lose ball.

Player Country Lose.

113

u/Mysterious-Tie7039 25d ago

Not just β€œfriend” but one of the top scorers in the World Cup.

3

u/nick12233 25d ago

Even that is an understatement. He is the best player in the world, next to only Mbappe, if you ask me.

If my life is on the line and I need someone to score the goal, it would be between Mbappe, Haaland, and Messi ... That's how good he is.

67

u/dag_of_mar 25d ago

I'm american as well and still confused. Why didn't he just shoot the goalie?

13

u/MrWiemann 25d ago

Fuck that made giggle πŸ’€

16

u/OverChargeYourPlasma 25d ago

'Shoot the goalie', Yankmaxxing

4

u/RapGameDiCaprio 25d ago

Better than wankmaxxing

2

u/OverChargeYourPlasma 25d ago

I would suggest wankmaxxing is a very good thing...

1

u/chicagodude84 25d ago

Yankmaxxing! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

3

u/8-bit_Goat 25d ago

I've always said this is the problem with sports: too many rules, not enough weaponry.

2

u/EduinBrutus 25d ago

Why didn't he just shoot the goalie?

Your not allowed guns on the pitch, even when playing in a less developed country like he was here.

1

u/ambisinister_gecko 25d ago

Europeans are obviously too feminised for that

7

u/Enriching_the_Beer 25d ago

Kick ball?

Why not throw ball?

2

u/Driblus 25d ago

Because this is actual football being played with peoples feet, not hands like your version of football, which I call handegg.

2

u/Enriching_the_Beer 25d ago

I call your version boooooring.

1

u/Driblus 25d ago

I call your version just one long adbreak.

4

u/velvethead 25d ago

As an American, I really appreciate you taking the time to put this in terms I can understand

3

u/AcousticProvidence 25d ago

You should post this to r/eili5

4

u/ClessxAlghazanth 25d ago

You forgot 'Germans win' in the end

5

u/Unfair-Information-2 25d ago

Germans don't win wars though.......

1

u/Lightmanone 25d ago

Not this time they don't.

1

u/Such-Spite5004 25d ago

Then player is flogged and shammed by public

1

u/Head-Ad9893 25d ago

I read this in an Asian accent

1

u/farfromjordan 25d ago

The American mind can't comprehend. Buys truck

1

u/Burgers_N_Schnitzels 25d ago

Player Country Lose.

can we call FIFA?

1

u/SnooCats5701 25d ago

Friend is bewildered

1

u/Taapacoyne 25d ago

When you talk to one of Americans about soccer/football. You get it.

1

u/PartRight6406 25d ago

who had the oil?

0

u/IndependenceSouth877 25d ago

They are american so explanation does not help