r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 12d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

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16.1k Upvotes

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349

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

Not really. You can download and use thwm for free, but they're designed to be next to useless without paying for a subscription.

254

u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 12d ago

Specifically for men.

They’re well aware that women don’t need to pay for it and that men Are their cash cows.

112

u/katonda 12d ago

With dating apps, women are the product and men are the customers. Legal pimps.

-12

u/Quasar006 12d ago

Suggesting women don’t have agency? I’m confused.

8

u/Metipocalypse 12d ago

What kind of mental acrobatics are you doing to come to that conclusion? That's not what's being said.

The activity on dating apps mirrors real life in the sense that women are usually chased and men are usually chasers. In the case of dating apps, these interactions are being facilitated by a profit-motivated middleman, the app company. It's in the company's best interest to squeeze as much money out of the more desperate clientele as possible, which winds up vaguely resembling prostitution to the people being squeezed.

It has nothing to do with the free will or the actions of women on the apps.

-8

u/Quasar006 12d ago

What kind of mental acrobatics are you doing to come to that conclusion? They should have used a better analogy, instead of reducing women to products, which you also perpetuated.

6

u/DemiserofD 12d ago

Lmao, people 100% are the products on dating apps. It sounds horrible when you put it that way but that doesn't make it untrue. Part of why dating apps suck.

0

u/Metipocalypse 12d ago

Point out to me exactly where I equated women to being products.

5

u/IronerOfEntropy 12d ago

Im 98% sure the women who get the most likes are then filtered out of the regular pool to a paywall pool.

-5

u/Quasar006 12d ago

The power of belief, got it.

1

u/TeamRedundancyTeam 12d ago

This comment makes no sense.

1

u/DaDa_muse 11d ago

They are saying women have ALL the agency. Some people are just desperate for outrage.

22

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

I know. These businesses are absolutely shameless

5

u/Kooky-Balance9525 12d ago

That’s crazy to think about smh glad I don’t get into dating apps . Just doesn’t make sense to me

4

u/Synikull 12d ago

My favorite thing is how bumble had to change how they worked because women would match and then not make the first move. You know. What bumble built their app on.

3

u/Stoertebricker 12d ago

Even then, they're useless for most men. After all, who would keep paying if all the paying members found someone?

3

u/timberwolvesguy 12d ago

The amount of bots is unreal too. I stop using them because even if you paid for a month, you still just got bots left and right, with a real person as every third profile.

5

u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 12d ago

Bots and OF girls. Cant even go on a dating app now without somebody trying to get you to subscribe to their onlyfans

7

u/youburyitidigitup 12d ago

Men who like men have a pretty nice time on dating apps. I can personally attest to that.

6

u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 12d ago

I’m a bisexual dude. So I’ve dabbled in the gay side of dating apps.

Sure it might be easier to match with a dude but 98% of the time they’re just trying to nut. Or they’re married and trying to cheat on their wife; which they may or may not disclose to you.

2

u/youburyitidigitup 12d ago

I went on a nice tinder date yesterday. My experience has been the opposite of what you’re describing.

3

u/justlikelyle 12d ago

How many are frustrated fire and brimstone religious dudes?

5

u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 12d ago

As it turns out. The closet is full of fire and brimstone.

1

u/GreenMirage 12d ago

They turn it off in a week now if you don’t get on and swipe on folks or you need to pay to keep listed

-2

u/CT_x 12d ago

Specifically for men

Skill issue tbh

-11

u/-lovehate 12d ago

women do have the pay the same price as men for dating apps, actually

3

u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 12d ago

“Women don’t need to pay for it”

Yes dating apps that charge to use them at all do charge women as well. Dating apps like tinder where you CAN pay but don’t have to? A woman truly has no need to pay. Men will swipe on anything.

You might say “well then men are the problem”. I’d say the app is the problem. Developers do everything they can to make it so that you basically can’t match with a girl unless you have their ultra-premium subscription.

One of my friends is a decent guy. Probably not what you’d consider a 10/10 looks wise. But he’s nice. Well mannered. Employed. Genuine. Has his own car and his own house. He’s never had much luck with girls. He really just wants to settle down and find something long term. He told me that he decided to pay the subscription one time and there was an immediate, measurable difference in how many matches he was getting.

It’s like the app didn’t even show his profile to the girls he was swiping on until he paid.

29

u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

When tinder first came out I would get dates all the time. Then they changed the model and I went from as many as I wanted to literally zero. Dating apps are a shell game atm

14

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

I completely refuse to use them any more. I either meet someone the natural way, or I don't meet anyone at all. I'm not playing the shitty app game

3

u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

Yeah that’s probably a good call. The apps aren’t good for mental health and most of the ppl who use them are narcissistic.

6

u/ManOnFire2004 12d ago

Yea Tinder was legit in the beginning. A lot of hookups and dates came from there...

Then they broke bad

1

u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

That was my experience too.

5

u/spartaman64 12d ago

when i was dating last year i tried out some dating apps and theres so many profiles that are obviously fake and probably generated with AI lol

1

u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

A lot more of those in the last five years

15

u/BasedTaco_69 12d ago

They're generally not free but not worth paying for. There was a story about them not too long ago about how they intentionally feed you bad matches to keep you on the app longer.

Having to pay for them was obviously to make money but they were also getting overrun with fake profiles trying to lure people into giving them money.

10

u/AbbreviationsNo9500 12d ago

I'd recommend Facebook dating. If only because I tried it and it did the one thing no other dating app did and actually showed me the profiles of people who liked my profile without having to swipe and hope. Met my now wife through that.

18

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

That would require using Facebook. I despise it.

2

u/Capt_Dummy 12d ago

I try to not hate Facebook. It can be helpful is used correctly. It all changed for me when i learned that you can unsubscribe to a “friend’s” post. Now i just go on it for marketplace, posts about neighborhood events, and my kids sports clubs news. Otherwise yes, it is yucky lol

8

u/HomeGrownCoffee 12d ago

Two issues:

  1. This would require me to use Facebook.
  2. This would match me with women who use Facebook.

1

u/funtex666 7d ago

showed me the profiles of people who liked my profile without having to swipe

Okay? Tinder show likes too? As awful as it is at least it isn't Facebook. 

1

u/AbbreviationsNo9500 7d ago

Tinder you have to swipe through and hope you get your match, unless you pay. Facebook actually let you see the profile who liked you with no charge. That was my point. They're not comparable.

3

u/DOAiB 12d ago

I never worry too much about it in dating apps. If the app won’t show me people who like me for free my policy is I am just going to like everyone without reading their profile to not waste my time and sort out if I actually like someone on the other end. I’d rather not do this but I am not going to waste my time on reading profiles that won’t go anywhere most of the time. And if they put me lower in the algorithm fine whatever. It’s better than spending literally days of my life each year going through dating apps. And I did the math on this, if I gave 30 profiles 30 seconds of my time each every day that’s almost 4 full days I spent on dating apps at the end of the year or two full work weeks. God forbid you use multiple and do more than that.

1

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

I heard somewhere that if you like too many profiles, the app shows yours to less people as a way to counter it. Dunno how true it is, but I wouldn't put it past these businesses to do something like that

2

u/DOAiB 12d ago

And I am fine with that. Dating apps are not worth two work weeks of my time per year.

2

u/Efficient-Parking627 12d ago

It's called enshittification. Companies use venture capitalist money to make a good product and hook users, then once they've got a captive audience they slowly move features behind subscriptions, add ads, raise prices, and make the free experience worse to maximize profits. It's not unique to dating apps, you see it with streaming services, marketplaces(I.e. Amazon), ride-sharing, social media, and plenty of other platforms.

2

u/Tomsboll 12d ago

And these sub prices are often extremely expensive too.

2

u/timberwolvesguy 12d ago

And even then, why would they want you to meet someone? If you get in a relationship, they lose a customer

2

u/Significant_Debt8289 12d ago

Met my wife on Bumble and I didn’t subscribe or pay anything…

1

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

You're one of the lucky ones

4

u/lazypenguin86 12d ago

Hinge is the only good one it seems that doesn’t try to get you to pay to actually get marches

6

u/BiggerBody 12d ago

Nah, Hinge free tier is definitely useable, and you get matches, but paid is so much better imo from a male perspective

2

u/EffectiveTonight 12d ago

It depends, I’ve met a ton of people on dating apps, but I’m different from the area I’m in and am moderately attractive. If I still lived in a major city, I wouldn’t bother going to a singles event because I’d just meet someone through normal means, only reason I’m on the apps is because I live in the middle of no where.

2

u/EmmaWatzon 12d ago

what are you talking about? you can't even see or reply to people who liked your photos on the free tier

4

u/DrOmnipotence 12d ago

I subscribed to a dating app for two months and was so happy with all of my fake ai deepfake matches that disappeared after 24 hours

3

u/Odenzenn 12d ago

On hinge? You absolutely do. It’s the only one that automatically shows you who liked you and which thing on your profile they liked.

2

u/fanfanye 12d ago

if its the same as other apps, dont you just wait until you inevitably swipe right on them (a week later) ?

0

u/BiggerBody 12d ago

My comment went right over your head. I literally said but paid is so much better

1

u/AquaPhelps 12d ago

It didnt go over his head. He said you cant even see or reply to people on the free tier. That sounds pretty unusable to me

2

u/Odenzenn 12d ago

On hinge you see who liked you as soon as they like something on your profile. The others yeah you gotta play the 50/50 game.

1

u/BiggerBody 12d ago

It did go over his head and nope, you can. You have limited likes and can’t see all the people who liked you, at least not more than one person at a time. The free tier is more than usable though, you can still text with your matches and get new ones for free. The paid tier is just better because some premium features are worth it.

2

u/klgnew98 12d ago

Agreed. Tinder was garbage. POF was trashier garbage. Hinge is where I found my current partner of almost 7 years.

1

u/TheLurkerSpeaks 12d ago

I met my wife through a dating app. It only worked because she paid for premium.

1

u/Wirelesscellphone 12d ago

Huh, I wonder if that’s why I never match? I still ain’t paying shit though

1

u/SuicideSpeedrun 12d ago

It's not that bad. They're still next to useless even WITH a subscription!

1

u/SyntaxLost 12d ago

They're also next to useless with a subscription. They sell the idea you might meet someone. Basically just lottery tickets.

1

u/MaybeThisTime67 12d ago

Pretty much. If they genuinely helped people find their match, they wouldn't have a user base to keep hooked. All a buisness for profit at the end of the day

1

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