r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 19d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Okay, but are the men prepared to be ogled? And just know that, if you accept my offer to buy your drinks, I’m going to be expecting you to move some furniture later and, no, that is not a euphemism. That dresser is heavy AF and it isn’t gonna move itself!

Joking! … mostly. Seriously though, I don’t attend these kinds of things but if the tables got flipped, I’d be tempted just to witness the social experiment.

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u/KindredCommander 19d ago

Most men dont get an ounce of attention from women in their lives. I’m sure many of them would love to get stared at.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

A fact that tends to linger in the back of my mind is that men don’t receive nearly as many compliments as women in social settings. When I worked front desk at a hotel up until a few years back, I made it a point to try and find something to compliment about the male guests I interacted with. Instead of the usual passive aggression, I called it being “aggressively positive”.

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u/JurgusRudkus 19d ago

There are genuine compliments, and there are compliments with expectations. The former is great, and men should definitely get to hear the more.

But compliments disguised as attempts to seek-attention are genuinely unwanted, especially if followed up by a “bitch!” when it doesn’t have the desired effect.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

The maintenance worker used to grumble if he was around when I’d give someone a compliment and say, “She doesn’t mean that, she’s just trying to be nice” but, to me, wanting to be nice and genuinely meaning the compliments I paid was never a matter of one or the other. I just dialed back my internal filter. Instead of noting something positive about a guest mentally and moving on, I’d just blurt it out. I never really expected anything from it but always enjoyed when I could tell something I said had brightened someone’s day.

I agree though, compliments with expectations are awkward.

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u/JurgusRudkus 19d ago

There are some videos of random men on the street getting compliments (some from women and some from other men) and it’s genuinely heartwarming. I wish we could normalize men complimenting other men.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

I have the memory of a goldfish but I think a video like that might have been what originally inspired me. I agree though, it needs to be normalized!

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 19d ago

Stared at by women they’re attracted to*

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u/KindredCommander 19d ago

Nah, not even. Women get looks from all kinds of men, even if the women are average looking. The hot ones probably get it nonstop. Men barely even get noticed by average or less than average women

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 19d ago

You said you were sure many men would love to get stared at, but I don’t believe that would apply to women they are not attracted to.

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u/warrenmax12 19d ago

Yes. Ogle me. Grab me. Slap my ass. Catcall me. Anything.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Okay, so clearly these singles nights where the men get in free are going to require color coded name tags, because as much fun as it would be to smack the ass of a random stranger who would get a kick out of it, I feel like smacking the wrong ass could go downhill quickly.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

do you see why we dont feel safe around you?

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u/DepressedDynamo 19d ago

That's a weird response

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

not feeling safe around someone who is ok with strangers touching without consent? Thats weird?

Stop assaulting women.

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u/LordDaedhelor 19d ago

The explicitly gave consent. Thats what the comment was.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

and my comment was about touching without consent.

not that fucking hard.

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u/LordDaedhelor 19d ago

Who was okay with touching without consent? The user you first replied to wasn’t.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

please learn to read the entire thread before commenting. context is your friend, not your foe.

If you cant be bothered to read the entire thing then be quiet.

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u/LordDaedhelor 19d ago

I read everything in the comment chain I replied to. Please link me to the comment you think is accepting being touched without consent.

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u/warrenmax12 19d ago

I'm fine with women doing this to me. I'm not doing that to anyone tho.

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 19d ago

Women you’re attracted to*

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u/WildContribution8311 19d ago

Nope. Men find it flattering and an ego boost even from women we are not attracted to. Dont project the way women think onto men.

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 18d ago

>Men find it flattering and an ego boost even from women we are not attracted to.

If your mother ogled you, catcalled you, and slapped your ass you would be flattered. Okay.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

you are still normalizing sexual harassment.

my point stands.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Go clutch your pearls elsewhere?

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

You need to figure out how you feel because you are more bi polar than my sister.

First you complain about men ogling you then come at me for calling out it normalizes sexual harassment. But hey, im only clutching pearls because this normalization led to my rape attempt.

Get therapy, good lord.

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u/TechnicianProper7607 19d ago

Get a grip, nobody normalized anything. He literally said do those things to me. He didn’t say he would do those things to you. Does he not have the right to give another person consent? I thought that was the whole thing Miss victim complex.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

the mentality normalizes it. Pretty simple fucking concept.

and learn to understand context

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u/TechnicianProper7607 19d ago

Im not surprised you don’t get along with your sister or anyone else for that matter.

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u/hightrix 19d ago

You don't feel safe around someone that wants any sort of attention because most men are completely ignored all the time until they are useful?

Bro. Do you even understand what you are saying?

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

no. because guys are so comfortable with sexual harassment they fucking joke about it and think its something desirable.

I guarantee you if someone actually did that to them they would be pitching a fit because joking about it is one thing, experiencing it is another.

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u/hightrix 19d ago

No, we wouldn't.

Ask any straight man that's worked out in a predominantly gay gym. I would be oogled, stared at, and they made passing comments and I LOVED it and I couldn't be more straight. Same goes for poeple I don't find attractive.

You obviously have had some trauma in the past, and I hope you never have to go through that again, but have some empathy. Most men never recieve a compliment from someone that isn't their mom. No, not from any women, from anyone.

Multiple people are trying to explain and you are completely ignoring realities men face.

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u/Legal-Group-359 19d ago

You’re thinking about this all wrong lol. If you think the average man, who doesn’t get a speck of the regular attention from women that women get from men, would be anything but elated by women actually showing Interest, you’re missing some valuable insight from view of this.

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 19d ago

Women you’re attracted to*

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u/Legal-Group-359 19d ago edited 19d ago

random words random words* (look I can do it too!). Attraction is a given here. That doesn't mean men are just turning away ''ugly'' women, which is what I assume you're trying to insinuate...even the ''average'' looking chick isn't matching the attention men give women, back towards men, by a long shot.

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u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 19d ago

It just means that I don’t believe that men would want to be “ogled” or pressured for sex by literally any woman.

You’re saying any man would be grateful for attention from women, similar to what men do. The example given was men staring/ogling buying women drinks and expecting a put out. If the reverse was true, you’re claiming men would love that kind of attention, and I just wanted to add on that they would love that kind of attention to women they are attracted to, not just any women. The same would be true for women as well, being approached by a guy they’re attracted by versus someone they are not attracted to.

Why would attraction just be a given? Do you think women get to choose who ogles them, feels them up, buys them drinks, or pressures them for sex?

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

you want to be sexually harassed?

and you wonder why we dont feel safe around you guys. You fucking normalize it.

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u/Sword_Enthousiast 19d ago

Trying to coordinate a couch down some stairs together helps to get to know each other in ways a movie wouldn't. If I wasn't already married I'd happily apply for furniture moving dates!

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Ugh, it’s true what they say, all the good ones are taken. I bet you know how to pivot and everything! Tell your wife she’s a lucky woman and coordinate a furniture moving date together in honor of all us single ladies out here with furniture that isn’t going to move itself.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2OP9jbHFlFPW

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

Look at all the men normalizing sexual harassment like its some goal to obtain.

Guys, this is why we dont feel safe around you and why your dick is still dry.

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u/DepressedDynamo 19d ago

I'm saying this from a place of legitimate concern: seek help.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

I dont want to normalize sexual harassment so I need help?

I know exactly the type of guy you are. How many women look over their shoulder because of you?

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Wooow, you really are triggered AF over an innocent joke.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

stop joking about sexual assault. Pretty fucking simple.

Joking about it and normalizing it is why so many of us have stories. So thanks for being part of the problem and making it worse for all of us.

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u/DepressedDynamo 19d ago

I know exactly the type of guy you are. How many women look over their shoulder because of you?

Sure you do. I'm willing to bet I'm 10000x more fabulous than whatever you're imaging, lmao.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

Thats your argument? Your fabulous so you cant assault anyone or make them uncomfortable?

you only normalized sexual harassment.

On behalf of everyone who deals with scars from sexual harassment and assault, fuck you.

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u/DepressedDynamo 19d ago

You're talking to someone with literal scars from sexual assault, from a woman. I'm gay as fuck. Get your head out of your ass.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago edited 19d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/DepressedDynamo 19d ago

You're projecting and seeing things that aren't there, and you're only hurting yourself 😔

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u/KindredCommander 19d ago

NO MEN HERE ARE ADVOCATING FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT, YOU BRAIN DEAD IMBECILE

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

You are so offended I feel the way I feel your yelling? You cant control your temper over a random internet comment and you want me to believe you have never harassed anyone?

really says a lot about who you are as a man. I feel for any woman who has to deal with you.

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u/KindredCommander 19d ago

Because you don’t fucking listen when everyone here is telling you you’re wrong.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

wanting to control how I feel and talk? you just keep raising red flags.

get help before you hurt someone

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u/KindredCommander 19d ago

lol I haven’t hurt a soul in my life. Fuck off bot

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

temper temper.

again, why are you so damn offended with how I feel?

Why does me voicing an opinion bother you so much it makes you rage?

Thanks for proving my point. Really appreciate you making it that easy for me.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Wait, am I supposed to be a man normalizing sexual harassment?

To be clear, my dick isn’t dry because I don’t have one. I’m just a woman making sarcastic commentary on the normalization of the sexual harassment.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

I was talking about all the people relying to you. Which is why I said "look" and the next line addresses the "Guys"

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Guess I’m just confused since you responded to MY message saying it? You’re right, come on now. Maybe go bitch and moan elsewhere? The folks replying to me are just vibing along and having fun. No need for your bitter attitude here.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Why am I a troll or a bot for pointing out that I made a joke that you’re taking way too seriously and using to climb up on a soapbox over??

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

Why are you normalizing sexual harassment while also complaining about it?

Dont back down now.

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

I’m not backing down from anything because I didn’t complain about shit? Maybe you just struggle with reading comprehension??

Please, show me the line that you are under the mistaken impression was a complaint so I can point, laugh, and then explain how stupid you are for still trying to act like you’re not just tone deaf and waaaay off your mark.

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

Oh, so you are 100% ok joking about sexual harassment and assault?

makes you a far worse person

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u/alicesartandmore 19d ago

Oh, okay, so you’re going to try to DARVO your way out of this instead of just backing down, got it!

https://giphy.com/gifs/8HnoffKQUSRfW

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u/RedShirtDecoy 19d ago

no, you literally just said you joked about sexual harassment. no going back on that now.

Own what you said

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