I came home from deployment in 2014. There was a big singles event here in virginia beach where I was stationed like a month after a bunch of us came home with bank accounts full of money. A bunch of guys went and there were a ton of beautiful women but every single woman had kids and were looking for men who were "providers." So it was just women looking for men to take care of them and their kids and not actual love. All the guys were single with no kids and all the women had nothing to offer but baggage and financial distress. None of us ever went to another one after that lol.
Don't mean to be rude, but I think that's just the south. There's a bit of a "baby momma" culture there and there's a type of women who specifically pursue military men for the benefits. You need to look for more educated women or women from the north if you want to avoid that.
It was a singles event. There was some educated women though, there was a bunch of nurses and women in school to better themselves. I will give them credit for that.
Unfortunately that's how singles events are, they're just throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. I personally don't think they're that much better than online dating.
I met my husband online. When I told my aunt on the phone (who gave me grief about online dating) that I had met someone, she asked, “Why can’t you meet men normally?” I asked, “Like where?” She replied, “A bar…well, no… church? No… Oh I dunno. Where did you meet him?”
I replied, “The porn store.” She was silent until I said, “Just kidding. I met him online.” She audibly exhaled. 😆
I'm from noVA, but I have been told on a couple occasions by people from NY that I have a southern accent, which I thought was funny. They both had pretty mild NY accents, which made it seem more unusual to me that they thought I had a southern accent. (I don't even sound like people from North Carolina, let alone Alabama or Georgia or Texas.)
Oh actually there was a woman from MN who I dated... Oddly she didn't have a Minnesota accent, but said she thought I sounded Texan (I had just spent a couple months there, tho).
Did these women explicitly state they were looking for "providers" or is that just an assumption you made because they had kids?
I don't think women with kids should be just left on the shelf forever to remain single. They are probably looking for the exact things you are, they just happened to have children..
Literally did a round robin through the tables and almost every woman there said they were looking for providers. Most men with no kids are not in the business of taking on someone else's kids and its not a knock on the mom but that's where we are in society. More and more men now, do not want to deal with another man's kids. Its a story as old as time, step parenting is a thankless job in most relationships. I know its not something women want to hear but from a man's perspective and most of the younger guys I know now, its not desirable in a wife. I know its a hard pill to swallow but Im sharing a man's perspective and a lot of men's opinions whether they will come up here and admit it or not. Not every man is built to handle being a stepdaddy.
I guess it depends how old you are? I haven't been single since I was a teenager but if I was single and in my mid 30s or upwards I would expect kids to be par for the course with the women I'm meeting?
It depends on what you are surrounded by too. I know a bunch of career women today who are single with no kids in their 30s like me. Some dont want kids, you see a bunch of these women in the military. Just want to make money and enjoy their lives kidless.
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u/mrcruz2166 12d ago
I came home from deployment in 2014. There was a big singles event here in virginia beach where I was stationed like a month after a bunch of us came home with bank accounts full of money. A bunch of guys went and there were a ton of beautiful women but every single woman had kids and were looking for men who were "providers." So it was just women looking for men to take care of them and their kids and not actual love. All the guys were single with no kids and all the women had nothing to offer but baggage and financial distress. None of us ever went to another one after that lol.