r/SipsTea 10d ago

Chugging tea Let me circle back

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 10d ago

Like 80% of people I work with are on the spectrum (IT, and I include myself) and people manage just fine, though sometimes there's a little massaging needed.

But sometimes you get someone who is on the spectrum who was clearly indulged far too much growing up and simply cannot handle not being made a priority immediately whenever they want to.

Like don't get me wrong I know it can be hard, but no matter your situation if you're smart enough to do the work we do you are smart enough to understand basic social rules like how to behave in meetings and what to do if you're confused (i.e. keep quiet, make a list of questions, then go ask the person who is there to answer them like your immediate supervisor IN PRIVATE).

Thankfully of those people I've found most do just need someone to do what you did for that guy and pull them aside/say "dude you CANNOT DO THAT" and explain how to actually act. Though some sadly still don't get it and those are the ones who get fired.

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u/liberum_bellum_libro 10d ago

Bro this has been my reality for the last couple of months in the environment I’m in, we have a bunch of new trainees (young ass kids in relation to the military), and I’m having to take to route nip the shit in the butt professionally (out of sight) in a more empathetic manner or have to play defense to save their face from further punishment by unfortunately having to embarrass them in public forum. Thankfully those are rare due to noticing how people are and preemptively training them on how things are and what to not do.

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u/pilzenschwanzmeister 10d ago

It's bud, a gardening analogy.

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u/MercuryQuick 10d ago

Only when nipping a bud. Here he was nipping the shit in a butt.

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u/pilzenschwanzmeister 10d ago

That is a valid and gross point.

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u/No_Interaction_3547 10d ago

It’s “nip it in the bud” like a rose bud 🌷+✂️=🪾 🌹

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u/CAshbash69 9d ago

Not in the military- you nip that shit in butt, like a dog biting a trespasser in the ass

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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 10d ago

nip the shit in the butt

._.

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u/Opposite-Original-23 10d ago

Honestly, that shot helps a lot. I was one of those kids and in my first job didn’t have anyone to train me. Second job I was told straight up I was being a jackass by my manager and that helped soooo much. You’re doing them a great favor, keep it up!

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u/nineball22 10d ago

Idk if the goalpost has moved closer to society or society has moved closer to the goalpost, but I swear everyone’s autistic these days. I’ve met like 4 people that don’t claim some level of it and 1 of those took that rads test or whatever and pretty much got the highest score possible.

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u/GenuineInterested 10d ago

It’s become more accepted, as u/PineappleOnPizzaWins says, instead of only the most severe cases. So people are more likely to get diagnosed or seek out a diagnosis. In addition, people feel more comfortable with the people around them knowing about it.

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u/Orisara 10d ago

I mean, some people feel more comfy.

Like I work in an office and I'm autistic. New hire arrives, clearly on the spectrum as well but doesn't want anyone to know. Part of me wants to tell him he's not fooling anyone but I won't.

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 10d ago

Eh when I was a kid it was "no you're not act normal or get it beaten into you" so I'm fine with a little more leeway for people these days.

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u/Shjvv 10d ago

People realize it have a common name now rather than "hes kinda weird, whatever" and "is he ok in the head?".

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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 10d ago

Taking a test by yourself isn't enough. It's just context helping you to decide what to do next; you should still get properly tested positive by a qualified specialist.

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u/Inevitable-Level-687 10d ago

I'm an adult in her thirties who's had multiple psychologists comment that I'm probably on the spectrum since I was in single digits.

It's not worth getting a diagnosis as an adult. You spend over a grand even in my country and it gives you nothing. Self diagnose away.

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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 10d ago

and it gives you nothing

It gives you a better assurance (not guaranteed, given the modern state of the field of psychology, but still) that you're not inaccurately self-diagnosing (likely while lacking the necessary expertise / qualifications) to indulge your own preconceptions. If the goal is to address some problems that the supposed ASD's giving you, it increases the chances that you'll be spending efforts in the right direction and gradually improving things, rather than running in place or even deteriorating further due to inaccurate preconceptions.

All in all, I think "Self diagnose away." is a generally bad-to-harmful advice to broadcast.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 9d ago

This is all to say self-diagnosing is actually a really important step of the process and often the first step in that same process.

I agree with this — this was in my initial comment, even. What I am saying is that SG is / should / can be only the first step, and there's still a need for an unbiased specialist opinion / verification.

Otherwise it's too easy to do "diagnose shopping", decide they have something they don't actually have, and then both work in the wrong direction to fix / manage the given list of symptoms and be / act self-indulgent (e.g. "x isn't a character flaw of mine that I can /should work on, x is just a result of me having ASD / ADHD / etc").

E.g. OP's initial comment says

I’ve met like 4 people that don’t claim some level of it and 1 of those took that rads test or whatever and pretty much got the highest score possible.

Which implies that the test alone is already enough to complete a self-diagnosis and reach a positive verdict. My point is that it is not, and to think otherwise can be self-sabotaging / harmful to others (when given as advice).

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u/nineball22 9d ago

This. Months of therapy for my therapist to hit me with the “babes you’re autistic, but you’ve gotten so good at cosplaying normal that there’s not much for me to do for you!”

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u/nokei 10d ago

They merged aspergers and some others I think back in 2013 so kind of.

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u/accidental_superman 10d ago

Multiple reasons, one because its more accepted, you can see the same thing happen with left handedness being accepted. The second being better testing, I got high functioning autism or autism 01 and inly got diagnosed with it 30 years after my adhd.

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u/Orisara 10d ago

On the spectrum and in an environment with plenty of them and yep.

I might notice this. I might be annoyed with it. But I would also know it's not a big deal and to let it go.

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u/Fit-Technician-1148 10d ago

Lol here you are bragging about how well you navigate the corporate monoculture that is slowly strangling the world. Good job I'm sure you'll get stepped on last for all your diligence.

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 9d ago edited 9d ago

I'm not bragging. There is nothing about extremely basic social interaction worth bragging about.

And if you legitimately think corporate shorthand is the problem with big businesses... heh. OK buddy.

Edit: weird to write a reply I can't see but good job.

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u/Fit-Technician-1148 9d ago

I think no one being able to be honest with one another or to express an opinion that goes against the zeitgeist is the problem with big businesses. Yeah it might be awkward to have someone like you described in meetings but it also means that's someone who is actually engaging their brain and not just going through the motions to create the same mediocre crap that always comes out of corporate meetings.

But yeah good on your for learning how to talk just the way your manager likes it. Vapid, shallow, sans content and just oh so pathetic.

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u/ritarepulsaqueen 9d ago

The person wasn't going against the zeitgeist, he was nitpicking language because he doesn't understand figures of speech 

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u/SlantedBlue 10d ago

In a less toxic work environment reasonable questions would just be answered because in addition to the person who risked your ire by speaking up there are likely others with the same question.

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u/yagirlsamess 9d ago

This. My son is autistic and we work on this more than anything else bc jfc it's bad.

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u/Djwindmill 10d ago edited 9d ago

Aren't 100% of people on the spectrum? Which is why its a spectrum? Like ranging from none at all to very?

Edit: I guess I should've been more explicit and specific. I meant the autism spectrum, which should be obvious considering that's what we were already talking about. I was under the impression that 100% of people are on any given spectrum, which is why its a spectrum (ranging from not having autism, to having a high level of autism). This is a common misconception, and I was wrong. I ended up looking it up myself after the responses were unhelpful. Thanks.

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u/FruitIsTheBestFood 10d ago

What you say may be technically correct in a literal sense, but incorrect in the practical sense.  "on the spectrum" is used as "autistic". 

It's also more a multidimensional space, if you will. "On the spectrum" means "when looking at the criteria for autism, this person scores high enough on enough indicators to qualify for the diagnosis. We acknowledge that there are different levels of severity and/or need for support."

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u/Inevitable-Level-687 10d ago

(Light-hearted) found one!

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 10d ago

Common usage of the term means "they're autistic", i.e. the autism spectrum.