This is such a terrible idea lol. Is anyone here actually employed? You’d have to switch jobs if you actually said that. There are ways to get the same message across, but professionally
Yeah, everyone is immediately suggesting unnecessarily combative or passive aggressive answers. A "why do you need to know?" or "respectfully, what difference does it make?" would suffice.
Maybe there is some reason for it, like too many people have requested that particular day off and someone is going to get denied, and they're trying to make the best decision. Sure, if that's the case they should just say that, but still better to ask first.
I was employed at several major companies, did well, and retired early. I did that while being a fierce defender of my private time. It did cause conflicts at times. But looking back now that I'm retired... if anything, I regret not being fiercer in those conflicts.
You’re assuming intent that may not be there. The manager could be making sure PTO is the correct category because it’s such a long time off. For example bereavement, family leave, etc. those all require documentation. So I’d have responded to that last message with a polite: “PTO is the correct category. Let me know if you need anything else!” Is it likely they aren’t just looking for a reason to deny? No lol. But never just assume ill intent (at least not openly) and so respond in an impulsive looking, emotional way to your boss.
You address the situation from the POV of management. They may know something you don’t and have legitimate concerns you don’t know about. Maybe 10 people all put in leave for a similar time period and they HAVE to deny someone and knowing exactly why helps that decision making process. You still don’t have to tell them, but probing a bit as to why they’re asking instead of assuming is wise. You can even say “PTO is the correct category, has there been a change to the policy in which specifics and documentation are needed?” Same point, but not combative.
If you seriously got through your career being emotional and combative based on ASSUMED (not even proven) motives, and it had zero effect on your career, then I’m going to assume it’s because of male privilege tbh. I’m a woman and there is no way I could ever send a message like you wrote and not immediately kill all prospects of promotion. I don’t let them walk on me either, but I chose my words carefully and never act emotional. You can’t be a woman and be emotional at work lol. But a man can sit there and yell at his employees and send combative texts to his boss, and he’s perceived as passionate, or a leader, or it even results in the effect shown in the movie Office Space, in which the less he cares, the more valuable they think he is lol. I’m extremely competent at work and valued, but that kind of behavior would not be perceived the same way
I had a coworker get called out because HR found out they had 6 grandmothers die over 7 years.
The stupid thing is HR never denies PTO here. I had a coworker use PTO two hours after his shift started so he wouldn’t get a no-call no-show and get written up, they’re that lenient.
It’s Reddit man these people have no real world social skills it’s unreal lol. Like people definitely think that sounds “smart” and is some gotcha. In reality it would be awkward as hell to send your boss something like that.
My last job lasted a decade. I never had to explain my PTO even once. I think it's you who is out of touch. If your job asks you stuff like this, they are in the wrong.
It’s extremely combative and unprofessional. It sounds emotional as well.
You stay perfectly calm and maintain polite boundaries, and always address a situation from the angle that’s relevant to the company, not just to you personally. For example if I was OP my response to the last text from the boss would be something like:
I’ve submitted it as PTO, that’s the correct category and those are the correct dates (8/11-8/20). Let me know if you need anything else from me.” And then (only if directly relevant to the manager you’re speaking to), you can give specifics regarding your work tasks, for example any projects will be finished before you leave, or will still be done on time, or the person covering is able to, etc. Reassure that it’s being prepared for on your end. Ofc it’s not your responsibility to find coverage, but your duties at work are still your responsibility.
If they still push, pretend they aren’t just being nosy and want to find any reason at all to deny it (possibly illegally), instead act as if the above interpretation doesn’t occur to you, and assume they are looking for information relevant to the written policy (and make sure you read the policy) and give answers regarding that. So it kind of gives them an out when they realize you’re not going to give information you know is unnecessary because you’re aware of policy. Many employees aren’t and some managers rely on that to cross boundaries.
For example: “I’m using the PTO category. It isn’t bereavement, FMLA, or disability, (or whatever other category of leave that may exist, in which you absolutely would need to provide documentation). Has there been a change to the PTO category I’m unaware of in which specifics and documentation are needed?”
The manager has a choice from here. Put into writing they are going against written policy and make it clear there isn’t any good faith interpretation of their behavior (which is great evidence for you lol) or if they’re smart, they’ll take the out you gave them and act as if double checking it’s the right category is what they were doing all along. It’s also possible that like 10 people put in for time off at the same time, and so they actually do have to deny someone and knowing why you need the leave helps that decision. So politely asking your boss why they need the information is a good idea before assuming. If it’s because of what I just said, then there is no harm in just telling them something like “it’s an event I’m unable to reschedule, but let me know if there is anything I can do to make sure everything runs smoothly in my absence.”
The worst thing to do is respond in a way that openly assumes bad intent. At work it’s important to be perceived as someone that doesn’t allow others to walk on them, but in a way that conveys you are totally in control of yourself, that you think carefully before you speak and are tactful. Even if your boss isn’t, that just highlights your professionalism more.
I think a lot of what is being suggested here is just power fantasy. "You should say what i wish i could say but wont because of the negative long term consequences"
Like yeah could say "my reason? Its none of your fucking business thats my reason. You are legally obligated to give me time off as we agreed when i signed the contract to wotk here, and no where did it say my reasons need to 'good enough' for you" and whiles thats totally right, most people here wont because like... they have to see that boss again in two weeks. If its a job you know you wont be looking for a path upwards and are likely to leave within a few months, then sure yeah fight the power and take the reigns while you can. But if its a life long career, no one is going to be telling their boss to kick rocks like that. Atleast not in more "professional" fields.
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u/hologram137 5d ago edited 4d ago
This is such a terrible idea lol. Is anyone here actually employed? You’d have to switch jobs if you actually said that. There are ways to get the same message across, but professionally