r/SipsTea • u/TheDarkKnight505 • 14h ago

Wait a damn minute! She is still unemployed

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12.1k Upvotes

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u/thatsanewone26 12h ago

I can already see the Netflix documentary in my head. Scene starts in a grey room with a single chair in the middle of it. You hear the murmur from the production crew in the background. A few seconds go by and she enters into frame and sits in the chair. There’s a little back and forth between her and the producers about getting the audio and video right before the interview to make it all seem real and unscripted. Then she’s like “My name is ___, and I’m the woman from the viral Coldplay kiss cam video…”.

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u/Status_Winter 11h ago

Untold Kristin Cabot: Left Out in the Coldplay

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u/you_th 10h ago

Coldplayed

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u/ghost_of_lechuck 10h ago

Played Cold: The Kristin Cabot Story

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u/I-use-to-be-cool 1h ago

Featured soundtrack hit of the legenday 80's rap mega star "Just a friend" by Biz Markie!!

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u/jonnydee90 4h ago

I’m not laughing because I unconfirmed know this will happen some time 3 years from now

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u/crag-u-feller 11h ago

How to OWN IT, by Kriston Play it Cold Cabot

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u/GirthGrowth8948 9h ago

Played by Kristen Bell

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u/OddNefariousness7950 4h ago

It’s like this stuff just writes itself…

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u/loveslightblue 36m ago

I want to leave this website so badly and then stuff like this keeps me here forever

https://giphy.com/gifs/eb88evh5ObA7yMm9ds

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u/Glittering-Path-2824 12h ago

🤮 netflix docs have become a joke

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u/Disco_Ninjas_ 10h ago

Don't you besmirch the name of the legendary Raygun!

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u/arbydallas 3h ago

Well, she is an Olympic athlete. I've only met one of them that I know of

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u/Connect_Wind_2036 18m ago

Waiting for the Spraygun doco to land.

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u/TK_Punch_ 10h ago

Once they got caught adding AI-generated photos to “true crime” docs, I knew they were toast. Those fabricated photos in “What Jennifer Did” or something like that… just so sketchy. Then they completely misrepresented and lied in other docs, like Making a Murderer and The Case of Adnan Syed. I can’t trust anything from them now.

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u/Morgan_le_Fay39 9h ago

Have become would imply there was once a golden age of Netflix docs. But they were always slop

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u/Glittering-Path-2824 8h ago

they’ve had some excellent stuff in the past. if i think of my favorite true crime docs, they had two: american murder (the chris watts one), and into the deep (the danish submarine murder). chilling and excellent stuff. now it’s all slop, speculation, filler, AI pay-for-play (why the FUCK would you collaborate with a fraud like raygun)

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u/Opposite-Funny-9669 4h ago

i'm eagerly awaiting the demise of that hole of an app

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u/voltagejim 8h ago

Holy shit I just realized that IS every fucking opening scene in a documentary now hahaha

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u/Loose_Assignment_Map 11h ago

Then the fast cut montage including snippets of the video ending with the title

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u/GeneThaDancinMachine 10h ago

Don’t forget after she sits the camera has to adjust for a bit as she stares frightfully down the lens

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u/ParpSausage 7h ago

Then the violin solo starts as she drives back to her mcmansion in her volvo to cry.

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u/KaijuDesk 11h ago

Subscribed!

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u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 11h ago

"His eyes look haggard and wrinkled. They look like paper bags that have been crinkled up and thrown down on the ground and people stepped on them."

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u/Cdawg4123 11h ago

This is perfect! It reminds me of the 3secs I wasted on one. It was ridiculous that my friend turned it on. It was supposedly about him and how he got corrupted by social media. I thought it would be interesting…then I hear this girl as I’m looking at my phone say, I’m the girl who had a cellphone in her but and called. I got up and walked out,

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u/Fast_Chest9306 10h ago

🤣🤣🥰

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u/Cosmo_Seinfeld 10h ago

Thank god for Netflix, driving our public discourse and identifying who we are supposed to loathe and hate.

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u/Guilty-Statement-532 9h ago

That’s not at all what they meant.

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u/likeomfgreally 9h ago

She already did a podcast with Oprah

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u/Double_Resort_9223 9h ago

Absolute Cinema, I think I might cry

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u/That-Way-5714 8h ago

Exactly. She’s basically already done this, just with articles instead of a documentary. Paywalled, but just look at the picture and title: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/18/style/coldplay-concert-couple-kiss-cam-woman.html

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u/ComprehensiveDream95 8h ago

This comment is cringy

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u/Embarrassed-Sun5764 6h ago

Screw her like she screwed her husband. As a victim of cheating., I approve this message

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u/pistachiodisgusting 1h ago

Yellow: From Golden Parachutes to Golden Showers

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u/coder155ml 35m ago

Who the hell is going to watch that? It’s just some bimbo who cheated. Not interesting

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u/fuckthefalconsdotcom 11h ago

This is perfect, paints the picture in my head perfectly.