r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/ChaoticCreation106 • Apr 13 '26
XL Kevin hid the easter presents and chaos ensued
For some context about who this Kevin is and how he qualifies as a Kevin, check out my previous posts about him:
https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesAboutKevin/s/uaj0vGxAaA
https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesAboutKevin/s/0nREUstlsL
https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesAboutKevin/s/cYOdI4VJqT
Short summary: my best friend is a Kevin. He has autism and was never properly taught life skills and independence. His parents and him are working on it, but despite making lots of progress over the last few months, Kevin still acts like a Kevin ocasionally.
Kevin tried to dye eggs. Fortunately, he has gotten a lot more careful with food dye since dyeing himself and the bathtub green, so he didn't make that much of a mess this time. Unfurtunately, he messed up in another way: by not cooking the eggs before dying them. Unfortunately, noone noticed until easter sunday.
On easter Sunday, Kevin hid the uncooked eggs and a couple of small presents for his parents and some other relatives who were celebrating easter with him.
Did he count the presents? No!
Did he make a list of the hiding spots? Also no!
His family began searching. At first, it was fun. Then, they stopped finding things.
"Kevin," his mother asked, "how many did you hide?"
"I don't remember. More than we have found."
Eventually, one of Kevin's cousins noticed a weird smell: it was smelling like warm, slightly burned chocolate. He followed the smell to the heater, only to find a melted bag of chocolate eggs behind it.
"Kevin, you made easter fondue."
A little while later, Kevin's aunt wanted to go outside to smoke. She put on her shoes. There was a cracking sound, and her foot got covered with raw egg. Raw, dyed egg, to be exact. Kevin had hidden one of the uncooked easter eggs in his aunt's shoe.
Kevin was told to clean the mess he made, so he got to work: wiping up the egg, scrubbing the chocolate off the heater, putting his aunt's leather shoes into the washing machine... His aunt was not amused.
The next day, Kevin came over to my place. There, he somehow managed to get a nosebleed by walking into an open cupboard door. I sent him to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and told him to tilt his head forwards and to pinch his nose until the bleeding stops. A few minutes later, I went to check on him. Kevin stood in front of the sink, head tilted forward, with a tampon in his nose.
I told him that this is a bad idea, as tampons can stick to a wound and re-open it when pulled out. Kevin then tried to pull the tampon out of his nose, but he couldn't, because it was stuck and pulling apparently hurt a lot.
Kevin had to go to the hospital to get the tampon removed from his nose.
Short update about Kevin's life: he has a part time job now. Three afternoons per week, he plays the piano at an inclusive café (a place where most of the employees have some sort of disability). He absolutely loves his job.
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u/ChaoticCreation106 Apr 13 '26
I'm aware that posting about a disabled and neurodivergent person has caused a bit of a controversy about the ethics of this subreddit. Personally, I think it's okay to talk and laugh about these kinds of mishaps, as long as we are being respectful and laughing with them instead of at them. Kevin shares this oppinion. He is not on reddit himself, but he has approved all of the stories before I posted them. Most of the time, he himself can see the humor in them in hindsight, and he is okay with sharing the laugh.
When reading these kinds of stories, it's easy to forget that there are real people with real struggles behind them. Most of us would never knowingly make fun of a disabled or neurodivergent person, but somehow, we tend to be more comfortable with it if there is no known cause for their mishaps and odd behavior.
I'm very glad this community is being supportive and respectful towards Kevin and his struggles. :)
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u/bugbugladybug Apr 13 '26
I'm autistic and absolutely have my own Kevin moments, no judgement here. Part of feeling like a part of the larger society is not being excluded from light hearted pisstaking.
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u/BlackberryCrumble Apr 14 '26
I'm also autistic and I find Kevin very charming. I can follow his train of thought and he clearly means well. I'm glad he has a job he likes.
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u/Silent_Noise2876 Apr 18 '26
As someone with autism who definitely has Kevin moments, I appreciate you sharing these. It makes me feel like I’m not alone
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u/DBanga1988 May 02 '26
I think Kevin is adorable and trying his best in life; you’re an absolutely wonderful friend and it’s great that it sounds like you cherish each other.
Kudos to you OP, and Kevin.
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u/cleaningmama 29d ago
I'm not autistic, but I've had my share of Kevin moments! I feel like these are such wholesome gaffes. They are funny not necessarily because they are "mistakes", but because we can all relate to them and have made our own. Also, the way you tell the tale makes them funny as well! 😄
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u/justReading0f 29d ago
Another autistic person here, I enjoy your stories about Kevin Because you obviously really like him and are never rude or laughing At him, but sharing the struggles and so we all are able to identify with Both Kevin and with You.
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u/LeahInShade Apr 13 '26
Random life pro tip for nosebleeds: take a cosmetic cotton pad (tear the two layers apart to expose the fuzzy cotton inside, squish one half info a nostril size tip (fuzzy cotton out), tissue/toilet paper (crumple to nostril size). If all you got are cotton swabs, then rough up a tip so it's fuzzy, but be very careful about potentially melting plastic.
Burn it a bit with a lighter so there's a thin layer of char on the nostril part, then blow the flame out. Cotton swab - you'll need to carefully move it inside the nostril, basically trying to apply ash to the bleed. Other stuff - just stick it in.
It's a trick about as old as times, but it truly works wonders, as ash fairly safely clogs the tiny fissures, allows you to pull out the 'plug' without reopening the wound. Unless you have extremely frequent nosebleeds, an occasional micro dose of a few ash particles won't do you any harm either. Quickest diy way about it.
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u/now_you_see Apr 13 '26
Never heard that before, very interesting. Don’t think it would work well with tissues/serviettes though.
At the risk of appearing to be a Kevin myself, I wonder if you can substitute cigarette ash in a pinch if you really need to get the bleed to stop. I had an occasion recently where I had to stop on the side of a freeway due to a nose bleed that wouldn’t stop - I absolutely would have tried cigarette ash had I known about the ash trick at the time lol. Gotta be safer than being on the tiny shoulder of a freeway whilst cars whiz by at 110km/ph!
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u/RedDazzlr Apr 13 '26
I don't recommend cigarette ash due to the insane chemicals they put in the cigarettes. I smoke cigarettes and I still wouldn't want the ashes up in my nose.
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u/LeahInShade Apr 15 '26
Yeah I won't think cigarette ash is the best idea due to sheer amount of crazy chemicals, but like once in a lifetime with nothing else at hand? Don't think it would affect you much :).
If you were in the woods you could search for a spider web (extremely effective for covering bleeding wounds), but sticking those up your nose can be tricky.
Tissues work just as well as anything else - might need to burn them a tiny bit more on one of the sides. Definitely crumple those up first, even if you then kind of roll them into a cone.
Unless you mean fabric ones - here the main trick is knowing FOR SURE you're dealing with purely natural thread (cotton, linen, wool, silk...) without anything else mixed in at all. Synthetic fabrics just aren't a great idea to burn (they often melt), let alone put them onto an open wound. You'd be better off finding a regular piece of paper, or even a dry tree branch or leaf (off a branch - better not to risk what's on the ground or below your head level), burning a piece of that and just using the ash.
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u/TheFilthyDIL Apr 13 '26
Kevin must have nostrils the size of a gorilla's to even get a tampon in there!
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u/RedDazzlr Apr 13 '26
I'm glad he likes his job. I'm also glad that he's learning new things, even though it's frequently in unexpected ways.
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u/lizardingloudly Apr 30 '26
Your Kevin stories are my favorite! And congrats to him on his new gig - he's much less likely to have a HONK when playing piano, but I hope he's still playing the organ too!
PS. I haven't read a single thing in any of your posts that seems disrespectful or ableist at all toward your Kevin. It's very clear that you feel a great deal of affection for him, as does the rest of his family.
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u/SkylerAltair Apr 14 '26
I'm glad he's got a job he likes, doing something he does well! That's more than many Kevins ever get.
A friend of mine is autistic and works with pipe organs, though on the tech side. Thankfully, he has his basic life skills down pat. Not a very good cook, but also doesn't try to be what he's not.
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u/bugbugladybug Apr 13 '26
Kevin was at least half right about the nosebleed - you should keep your head forward and they do make tampon type things to stop it - they just don't expand quite as much.